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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:32 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:19 pm
Posts: 8116
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Yuratuhl wrote:
Jushiro wrote:
Sort of like how I can drink unpasteurized milk?

fun fact: my father owns a dairy farm.


It's really too bad the USA forces cheese to be pasteurized. It's one of the things I like about France.


What the hell are you talking about? It's your fault, remember?


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.
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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:34 pm  
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Deliciously Trashy
Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 7:37 pm
Posts: 2695
Location: Seattle
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Kifto is awesome - I had it when I was in DC .... 3 years ago (??)

And honestly, steak tartar is super easy to make at home. get a good piece of meat from a good butcher/supermarket, and go from there. we make it at school all the time during the meat room/butchers rotations.


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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:08 am  
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MegaFaggot 5000
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:39 pm
Posts: 4804
Location: Cinci, OH
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Oh yeah, you can also make a salad real quick too:

1) Bag of lettuce from the store.
2) Misc vegetables.
3) Salad Dressing.

- Rinse your salad and vegatables and put them in a bowl.
- Take your bowl to your garbage can and hold it upside down, making sure to get all of that pesky green (green and gay start with the letter g, coincidence?) shit.
- Open your salad dressing.
- Pour your salad dressing into the garbage.
- Take the empty bottle of dressing and beat a small child or animal with it.
- Pick up the small child or animal (IMPORTANT, NO CATS) and throw it away.
- Jerk off into the bowl, light the bowl on fire, and bury it in your backyard.


RETIRED.
[armory loc="US,Bleeding Hollow"]Mayonaise[/armory]
[armory loc="US,Bleeding Hollow"]Jerkonaise[/armory]
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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:10 am  
Malodorous Moron
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 5:59 pm
Posts: 736
Location: Montreal, QC
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Mns wrote:
Oh yeah, you can also make a salad real quick too:

1) Bag of lettuce from the store.
2) Misc vegetables.
3) Salad Dressing.

- Rinse your salad and vegatables and put them in a bowl.
- Take your bowl to your garbage can and hold it upside down, making sure to get all of that pesky green (green and gay start with the letter g, coincidence?) shit.
- Open your salad dressing.
- Pour your salad dressing into the garbage.
- Take the empty bottle of dressing and beat a small child or animal with it.
- Pick up the small child or animal (IMPORTANT, NO CATS) and throw it away.
- Jerk off into the bowl, light the bowl on fire, and bury it in your backyard.


You forgot

-Post-jerk shame
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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 2:16 am  
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Obtuse Oaf
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 9:47 pm
Posts: 787
Location: Australia
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slaughtering helpless animals is cruel, it makes me sick that you people eat steak.


If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 2:20 am  
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Obtuse Oaf
Joined: Sun May 16, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 776
Location: Ontario
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Yewluze wrote:
slaughtering helpless animals is cruel, it makes me sick that you people eat steak.


Perhaps we should switch to eating lion steaks after besting them in gladiatorial combat.


Laelia Komi Anomalocaris
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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 2:25 am  
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Stupid Schlemiel
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 4:53 pm
Posts: 1808
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Laelia wrote:
Yewluze wrote:
slaughtering helpless animals is cruel, it makes me sick that you people eat steak.


Perhaps we should switch to eating lion steaks after besting them in gladiatorial combat.


People would pay to watch this :)


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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 2:32 am  
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Obtuse Oaf
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 9:47 pm
Posts: 787
Location: Australia
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i'm just fkn with you, i love a bloody steak

and i don't mean "bloody" as in "bloody strooth, fairdinkum crikey mate"


If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:54 am  
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Deliciously Trashy
Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 7:37 pm
Posts: 2695
Location: Seattle
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fucking aussies


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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:57 am  
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Stupid Schlemiel
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 4:53 pm
Posts: 1808
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Zaryi wrote:
fucking aussies


yes please


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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:59 am  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 6:59 pm
Posts: 2569
Location: In your dreams.
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I was unaware inbreeding was hot.


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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:37 pm  
Malodorous Moron
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 5:59 pm
Posts: 736
Location: Montreal, QC
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I think it's the accent mate
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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:50 pm  
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French Faggot
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 1:15 pm
Posts: 5227
Location: New Jersey
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Tehra wrote:
I was unaware inbreeding was hot.


Clearly you've never met the queen.


If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
Shuruppak Yuratuhl
Slaad Shrpk Breizh
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 Post subject: Re: @Sriracha, Culinary Masterpiece
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:57 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 6:59 pm
Posts: 2569
Location: In your dreams.
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Thanks fark for providing this timely article.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/whats-your-recipe-for-perfect-toast-2460188/

Quote:
New York Magazine is reporting a restaurant toast trend, so if you thought that toast was just something you ate puffy-eyed in the morning and didn't talk about, well wrongo. We have to talk about it. And here's why we should: Over the years, through diligent practice, we've each silently developed the perfect toasting method for ourselves. This kind of practice and refinement directed at other skills is considered art. Shouldn't we share our hard-won techniques?

New York Magazine has Dan Kluger of ABC Kitchen laying out the art of his toast. You can tell he's a professional because he doesn't even use a toaster.

1. Slice a rustic sourdough loaf...into one-half-to-three-quarter-inch slices.

2. Pour a generous splash (about two tablespoons) of olive oil in a nonstick pan, and heat over medium flame.

3. Put slices in pan, rub the bread around a few seconds to absorb the oil, and flip over.

4. Let cook, under a small weight if necessary, until golden brown. (“It shouldn’t be so crunchy that it’s dry and when you bite it, it hurts,” says Kluger.)

5. Flip to cook other side.

6. Top with restraint, and serve while warm. (Kluger cuts slices widthwise into four pieces for easier eating and—if you’re so inclined—sharing.)

That's like the advanced toast seminar you can only take if you're a senior (or if you're making your toast into bruschetta). Here's my perfect breakfast toast:

English muffin. Plain. Goes in the toaster oven. It should toast until the tips at the top are crispy but the bottom retains some softness. If there are any signs of charring, my boyfriend gets it, because he likes burned stuff. We recently moved in together and we decided to defy our families' traditions: We're keeping our butter on the counter, outside the fridge. (No, it doesn't go bad there.) We think this is a defining household feature. Think about the homes you know. More relaxed homes: butter out. More uptight: butter's in the fridge. (If the household is near the equator, philosophy does not apply.) We're not really doing it for our reputation, though. We're doing it for the toast. It means the butter is always soft enough to spread. Don't you hate when the cold edge of refrigerated butter roughs up the surface of your bread? This is exactly the kind of thing I'm glad we're finally talking about. To finish it off, salted butter is the only way to go.

Please tell us how you make your toast perfect!


Real toast is made with a fucking clothing iron and a textbook. That misting action makes for a fluffy slice, and the flavor of whatever you're currently studying is absorbed, thereby making toast brain food.


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