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So, yes we've all heard about Bus Girl. Yes she shot me down, but that is neither here nor there.

I have been doing the eHarmony thing for about 6 months now. I have been on several dates, and had some almost-relationships. However, the two closest times I was to being in a "serious" relationship, the women went haywire and ended it. I'll explain.
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This one girl, Jenny. We meet on a thursday for dinner, have a fantastic time, get drinks after...she takes me back to her place, we fool around, I get a bit 'o fellatio.

We talk on the phone for about 2 hours the next day. (Things are going well amirite).

Next day, she texts me "i'm drunk, you should come hang out with me and my friend." So I go, we drink some beers, go back to her place, then BAM we have SEX.

We set up another date the following tuesday...she comes to my house for dinner and a movie. At the end of the date, she's been very stand off-ish the whole time...and I go "so...what's up" she goes "i'm sorry, i don't feel any chemistry" (WTF I HAD MY JOHNSON INSIDE U 2 DAYS AGO WTF WTF WTF).

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Flash Forward to this past month. I meet another girl (Rachael) via eHarmony. We go on a date (on a Friday), it goes really really well. I like this girl, she likes me. We have another date, the following Wednesday (we watch Ironman 2, it sucked). We share a passionate kiss at the end of the date. THEN she invites me to her birthday party the following saturday, I meet her friends, we have a great time...she sends me a text "it really meant a lot to me you could hang out with me and my friends blah de blah."

Then we have ANOTHER date on a wednesday, we go bowling. We kiss some more at the end of the date. THEN she comes over to my place on the following sunday...we have dinner, drink wine, watch a movie...and BAM - we have SEX. Then I ask her, "do you wanna be my g/f. She says "yes", we even do the facebook update to make it all official. We were like two love birds on her walk back to the train...i was like "alright, I found one...thanks eHarmony!"

Then we have another date this past tuesday, and we eat dinner...it's kind of awkward at times, but nothing really like OMG WARNING SIGN...just still "i dont know u that well..." or so I think. I mean, we even walked around Northwestern holding hands and talking. We talked about the future, about this and that, she said she has had trouble with relationships in the past because she's busy with school and stuff...I tell her that i'd never stand in the way of her studies, and that you're supposed to support the person you're with etc

We kiss, say goodbye. Etc.

I get a call today at work from her. "blah blah, I'm really sorry, I really like you, but I'm not ready for a serious relationship. I think you are more committed than I am. I'm sorry (she apologized like 309393 times) tells me im nice, she really does like me, she's just not ready.

WHY THE HELL IS SHE ON eHARMONY THEN????

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TLDR:

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WOMEN WHAT AM I DOING WRONG FML.

Also, inb4 "ur bad at sex" that ain't it...the second girl was awful...just awful in the sack...plus any shortcomings you have with sex you figure out during the course of doing it a lot amirite.

I sense desperation. If you're exuding desperation, you're dead. Also, when you're invited to "hang out" with her friends, you're being "weighed, measured, and found...."

I'm not feeling incredibly sorry for you, however. You've scored twice, recently. Me? I'm married.

Boredalt - 80 Dwarf Priest - Dissension

Yeah, I mean, I know I need to count my losses...but I don't want just random sexual encounters...I want a meaningful relationship.

As for the friend thing, I was aware I was being measured..and we hung out several times after that, so I feel like I passed that test.

I think what happens is that maybe I get "too serious" "too fast." I fall for girls relatively easily (if you can't tell), and perhaps when I start talking about the future, or just show too much idk..."passion" it screws me over. I just don't understand how it goes from "yea, we're doing it, I like you so much" to "i don't feel any chemistry" or "i'm not ready to be that serious."

Why don't you let her bring up the "future" talk? If you enjoy being with her, just let things happen naturally. What's the need to label yourselves as committed? Hell, even married people only need to sign a couple of papers to un-commit. Sounds like you're passing the early tests. That's better than most, I'll wager. Relax. What are you going to do if you change your M.O. a bit, lose the girl?

Boredalt - 80 Dwarf Priest - Dissension

act like you don't give a shit about them, especially when you do give a shit.

eventually, "let them in" by showing that you give a shit.


women like it that way for some reason.

See, that's my problem right there. I don't know how to act like I don't give a shit when I do give a shit. I am the type of person who wears my emotions on my sleeve. I give too much of a shit, reveal it + vulnerabilities, and I think that's the heart of the issue

I'm not in a relationship because I don't want to be in one. Inb4 "more like cuz ur fat/ugly/stupid".

But everybody I know that has been in a long term one (my mother and stepfather, my dad and stepmother, my stepsister and brother-in-law) all met each other out of chance.

So my theory is, finding a lover is like finding happiness. If you look for it, you'll never find it. If you just enjoy yourself, it'll fall in your lap.

Besides, it's better she goes "no thanks" early then a long time down the road after you really have feelings for each other.

Maybe just expect nothing more than meeting people when you use eHarmony.

Oh, and did I mention, you scored? Fuck you, last time that happened with me I ended up naked outside hoping to not get pummeled.

And you're better looking than I am, so double fuck you.

..

qfmft



men are easy. food, fucking, friends.

some tips:

1) stop going for the freaky stuff the first time. leave the whips and buttplugs in the closet for later in the relationship!

2) seriously though, you can't go from first date to full bore serious relationship in a week. you still barely know each other.

3) also, the sooner you get her in the sack, the less likely she's really looking for something serious.

my advice? get laid if she's going for that, but if you think it might be something more, date a little bit more casually. actually get to know each other. your biggest commitment should be the next date you've scheduled.

Akina: bitch I will stab you in the face

lol dig the avatar kald

What you're doing wrong: Metting people on eharmony.

I am THE man.
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee15 ... 171424.jpg

See you say that...but my sister recently married a guy she met on eHarmony, and my brother is now engaged to be married to a girl he met on eHarmony...so I'm like...wtf am i missing...

i would just like to point out, i turned on HBO and the move "He's just not that into you" is on in the background while i read that statement... irony?