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stephanie meyer is nothing spectacular, nothing incredible, just painfully acceptable. she can tell a story, otherwise we wouldn't be in this situation.

the truth behind the twilight book series is this: it's perfectly fine for what it was intended to be, vampire romance for young adult readers. it's no more retarded or less of a mary sue rail shooter than the uncountable vampire stories in the wal-mart book section now or bookstores for the past 10 years, it simply never should have grown beyond what it was and become the pokemon obama of cinema.

the difficulty in keeping an objective viewpoint with stephanie meyer is high for the crimes she's committed against vampires and gender equality, but we never would have known about it had it not been pushed into the mainstream. i could give a buzzard's dick about what happens in the hardy boys, and whether or not they give private eyes a bad name.

I'm pretty certain I hate the fans more than the movie itself.

Aside from them being underwhelming in the scary department, I don't have much problem with it.

fuck vampires, fuck twilight, and fuck them for putting this tripe in the public mindset during the orange cross alignment.

(new moon)(cross alignment begins)(lunar eclipse)(solar eclipse)(/cross alignment)(new moon)

fucking vampires is necrophilia.

If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
Shuruppak Yuratuhl
Slaad Shrpk Breizh

and kicking you hard enough that my foot penetrates your colon is sodomy.

what of it?

The biggest problem with all the MILFs throwing wads of cash at the cinemas is this will set back any decent form of movie for a good 3 - 4 years. All the major studios are now going to jump on the engorged cock of the queer, sparkly vampire trend, and that's all the movies that will be released. (Other than the Smurfs movie...which is another problem entirely).

You've all seen it before, but it's no less true now:
In my day, vampires sucked blood, not cock.

If there's no genitals involved, it's not sodomy.

If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
Shuruppak Yuratuhl
Slaad Shrpk Breizh

My wife tried getting me to watch the first movie... and I watched about half of it, but then I fell asleep. It was awful! She said the books are much better than the movies but I'll never know since I'll never read the books and I won't watch the movies until someone with a penis tells me they're really good for the action.

They're really good for the action.

Cindered
Another Cindered

A penny put in a jar is a penny not put in my nose.

lol jk jk jk

Nice avatar bro!

i didn't bother to read anything but

THE VAMPIRES ARE ALL FUCkING WRONG

and I present to you the 30 most disturbing Twilight gifts ever - a perfect complement to this thread, and a prefect example of why the fans are generally bat shit.

http://io9.com/5407713/the-30-most-dist ... s/gallery/

if you bother to look up number 26, and go to it's website, the comments are pure genius

I'm mildly concerned that you even know about this stuff, Zaryi.

If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
Shuruppak Yuratuhl
Slaad Shrpk Breizh

Facebook is a wonderous thing. As is time.

Idea:

We stab people in the necks with vampire dildos.