Aestu wrote:
I think you are severely depressed and need help. Drugs are not the answer.
You have a lot going for you. You're skilled and have income.
You should live my dream. Buy a live-in, maybe go on a trip to a third world country and pick one up from the Bahamas, or Vietnam/Thailand/Malaysia/Moldova/Ukraine.
Honest suggestion, you should take up interior decorating as a hobby. Improving your living place will make you feel better.
That was the first line of coke I'd had in probably twenty years (it may have been an anniversary line, for all I know), and even when I used to do things of that nature on the regular, that was a definite no-more-than-once-a-month thing. My drinking is rather benign, as well. Booze and drugs don't concern me. I'm more concerned I'll join a fight club or something ridiculous. I found myself seriously considering taking an old friend up on their offer to come to work with them as a "consultant" recently...which would have been even more ridiculous than a fight club.
Most people in this country are depressed because television/movies/books/magazines show them people living extravagant lifestyles, regardless of what the characters might do for a living, and they can never measure up to those lifestyles because it's impossible to live those kind of lives on what the average person makes. It makes people feel like a failure. I am slightly depressed. I think most people are, especially when they're my age. Anachronisms come into play. We were raised for a world that had ceased to exist at least a decade before we were born, and tossed into one completely antithetical to the one for which we'd been prepared.
The only way involving yourself with a woman from some backwards place, especially any of the backwards Eastern-European places, would be any good would be if you were to retire to their shitty backwards country. You bring one of those women over here, and she's just going to pick up the obnoxious habits that make the majority of women in this country so undesirable. I've known a few expatriate types, mostly Vietnam vets, who have taken their retirements and gone to places like Mexico, Asia, and Eastern Europe.
There's a Vietnam vet, formal journalist some of those old guys I used to hang out with referred me to who explains why those guys marry the local women. Some of what he writes would probably strike some of the more 'right thinking' people here as terrible, but he says those expatriates marry the local women because they behave the way they were raised to believe women were meant to act. It's probably one of the reasons our society is so screwed up. We tell men women are supposed to be a certain thing they no longer are, and they're disappointed with the women they meet. We tell women men are supposed to be a certain thing they no longer are, and they're disappointed with the men they meet. Toss onto that how acceptable and common divorce is, and there shouldn't be any great shock why people are miserable with each other and can't make relationships work.
If I decorated anything, it would end up looking like Tim Burton was getting ready to shoot a B-52s video. That would not be good. I have a girl that picks things out for me when I feel like I have to update something. It looks much better than it would if I had continued with old collectibles and comic book posters...those got moved to CJ's room.
I really need to sleep. I've only gotten about 9 hours in the last few days, and I have to work tonight.
Your Pal,
Jubber
