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My apologies if this sounds old-fashioned and/or preachy.
Dude, ask her out. What's she going to say? "No?"
I find that when most people ask others for advice in personal matters, that they are usually just negotiating their own way through an experience by talking about it. As some of you know, I ask a lot of questions if engaged in personal discussions, and I usually ask personal questions. I think a lot of you would be amazed at how similar most of the conversations I've had with some of you (and others) are regarding this topic. Almost without fail, you already know what you should/want to do and where you want to go. What you all need to come to grips with is that there is no trick to this, no right way, no magic formula. There is, however, a wrong way.
The absolute wrong thing to do is to try to become something different from who you really are; to cover up some perceived deficiency with the idea that this other person you can be is someone more likable or acceptable. This is not the same as not farting around a girl you'd like to impress. She already knows you fart sometimes, and she already appreciates that you refrain from sharing this part of you with her (for as long as possible). It is more like pretending you enjoy the opera, or Nascar, or country music, or children, or cats, or volunteering, or whatever when you do not enjoy "X" activity, at all. Generally planning a nice evening is a good thing. Plotting every move, every conversation, creating strategies for every possible scenario, or intentionally failing to mention that you have children from a previous relationship is simply a doomed strategy. Even if you pull it off without a hitch, and the evening is perfect, and you were cool and charming and funny, it was an illusion you created. She's expecting THAT guy, now, and that's not who you are. I realize the idea behind all of this is that if you can get her to go out with you long enough for her to really get to know you, that she'll see what a smart, fun, good guy you are and that this will trump any warts that you think you might have.
When looking for a relationship, we have things in common.
All of us would like to avoid rejection. All of us would like to be cool. All of us want the conversation to be lively, and not drag. All of us would like to end up in bed with someone who really wants us, but then wants us to stay close when the sex is over. All of us want someone who is hoping we'll call them, again... today. All of us should realize this is not always possible, and that experiencing the opposite of these things is just part of the process, and not at all remarkable... or fatal.
Being yourself is the only way, even if it takes patience. If you aren't, you'll only be unhappy when you realize one day when her cat is in your lap, Hank Williams, Jr is on the stereo, and she's screaming that Kyle Busch should get a penalty for bumping Junior that the person they want to be with... well... isn't you. Figure out what you enjoy, then associate/join with groups who are interested in those things. Go where people are. Of course, this involves leaving the house (GOOTHADS!) but it is unlikely that a person you'd like to spend time with is going to randomly knock on your door to ask you out. I don't see anything wrong with computer dating services, but I don't think anyone should limit themselves to this.
NONE of this applies to you guys/girls who are just looking for some easy sex and don't mind lying/being lied to, or don't mind laying the truth out there, i.e. "I'm just looking for sex."
Boredalt - 80 Dwarf Priest - Dissension
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