Jushiro wrote:
Zaryi wrote:
inb4 debate turns back into women bashing
Let's gaybash instead FUCKING FAGGOTS
Quote:
Gay Scholars Suggest Battle of Thermopylae Was Homosexual Suppression
BOSTON, MA - A recently published article in Classical Review suggests that the Battle of Thermopylae was not merely a national struggle between the Greeks and Persians, but a chapter of a historical saga of struggle for gay liberation.
Dr. Lynne LeBlanc of University of Massachusetts at Boston explains, "Most military cultures throughout history have been overwhelmingly anti-gay. The Spartan military, which conquered Athens, one of the most gay-friendly cultures in the history of the world, was finally defeated by the Sacred Band of Thebes, an army comprised exclusively of homosexuals. Its prior victory in the Battle of Thermopylae, popularized in the movie "The 300", was really not about whether future generations would grow up speaking Greek or Farsi, but whether they would be allowed to engage in gay love."
Supporting her thesis are writings by the Roman historian Plutarch describing the Persian homosexual tradition - which, she claims, were "biased by chauvinism" into recasting the tradition as one of male pedophilia, as well as "crypto-homoerotic themes" in ancient Persian art.
"Gays and women have made vast strides in social justice over the years," claims Dr. LeBlanc. "The gift of 'earth and water' demanded by the Persians is properly understood as symbolizing the equal role of the female earth and male water, and that is why the request for such an innocuous gift was so offensive to the Greeks. Surely even men would not go to war only over a matter of national pride.
"In ancient times women were not only barefoot and pregnant, but they were prevented by male privilege from being permitted to wear skirts, this being the province exclusively of men. The Persians went to war to challenge this privilege and demonstrate that wo/men [sic] had the right to both wear pants and skirts.
"Those who insist on believing otherwise, are blind men who insist on feeling only one part of the elephant."
Some scholars have questioned LeBlanc's thesis as "premature" and "insufficiently rigorous", although no fewer than ten sources have vouched for the feminist scholar as "radiating intelligence." Both groups insisted on making their claims anonymously, the former claiming to fear "the overwhelming feminist and radical GLBT bias in academic circles", the latter claiming to fear "the male patriarchy".
"What we are seeing here is a conspiracy between radical feminists and radical GLBT advocates," said Dr. Arthur Keaveney, of the University of Kent. "We don't need to know what sort of underwear Leonidas wore, or even if he wore any at all - I am of the opinion he did not, as my latest thesis, based on good solid empirical research, expounds - to arrive at the conclusion that he did not, in fact, fight the battle of Thermopylae to prevent other men from running around in leather thongs, sodomizing other men. Such a conclusion is not premature. The fact that these 'scholars' have doctorates does not mean that their stercoraceous papers have any academic value whatsoever."
Dr. LeBlanc's colleague, Dr. Gretchen Umholtz, offered a perhaps more sane and balanced view. "I don't think we should dismiss any well-cited thesis as simply crazy, unless, of course, it's obviously crazy," she said, glancing repeatedly out the door of her office. "Dr LeBlanc is a well-regarded scholar, having obtained a doctorate and tenure at this institution. Therefore, what she claims has at least some truth to it. The thesis may be flawed but it is surely not worthless."
Dr. LeBlanc's findings have been considered sufficiently "provocative" that her book, Women, Gays, And Bad Weather: Scapegoats From Cannae To Waterloo will be required reading for women's studies courses beginning 2010. Queried as to whether she would charitably donate her substantial royalties, she replied, "I plan on giving as much of it back to the patriarchal-dominated universities, charities, and brothels as they gave to me. Six-digit grants and salary notwithstanding, everything else I earned, in spite of the male patriarchy."
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
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