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 Post subject: Canadian Fusion Cuisine
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:20 am  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:19 pm
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ALBERTA, CANADA - Fusion cuisine - novel forms of culinary expression drawing from two or more previously discrete cultures brought together by the forces of globalization - finds unlikely expression in today's Canada.

"It all started a few months back, when I happened to mention to some American businessmen here to meet with Mr Harper, that our money melts," said Gunther Montaine, the proprietor of Poutine Montaine, a family-owned poutine restaurant in Alberta. "They introduced me to a curious tradition amongst wealthy Americans, of rolling up American dollars into a cigar and smoking them, how it was a traditional American expression of wealth and virility, and the health benefits of doing so. I was obliged to politely decline, I said, because our money melts, not burns, when heated.

"They didn't believe me, so I melted a five-dollar bill at their table. I noticed that the melting qualities of the Canadian dollar were superior to poutine cheese. Inspiration struck me."

Today, Mr Montaine has created a new type of cuisine based on traditional Canadian poutine and the American tradition of smoking money, using Canadian dollars as his main ingredient.

"In its practise it is a sort of play on the fondue pot. Canadian dollars are placed in a communal melting pot - different denominations subtly affect the flavor of the shape. Participants bid, like a game of poker, melting the money in their wallets until one individual runs out of funds. That individual is responsible for putting the gratuity on their credit card."

The other typical ingredients of poutine - sliced potatoes and sausage - are brought to the table and dipped in the melted currency, which is mixed with maple syrup to make it more palatable. "Because of our healthcare system, we are easily able to treat any health problems emerging from the consumption of this product, even if the diner no longer has any bills in their wallet," says Montaine.

This brilliant new play on an old American tradition has made Poutine Montaine the go-to establishment for wealthy visitors from Canada's best friend down south.

"All this time, I thought Canada was just about exploitable natural resources and easy French-speaking lays," said Rick Thompson III, a self-described small businessman, enterpreneur and American hero visiting from Richmond, hard at work managing at one of America's many highly successful hedge funds.

"My buddy Montaine gets what America is really all about - hospitality, good food, and being successful." He boasts he has never lost a round of "American poutine", dismissing those who don't care for the game as "sore losers."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.


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 Post subject: Re: Canadian Fusion Cuisine
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 2:45 pm  
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French Faggot
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 1:15 pm
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Amazing.

Do Canadians also leave out the period between titles and names, just like the English? I saw your "Mr Harper" and was unsure.


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