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Ok, long story short, I get some out of the blue texts from someone named Yao.

From Yao:
Derek! This is yao. I sent my address to your fb. Hope to see you tomorrow.

Now, I didn't understand what the hell "fb" was right away. Apparently it's facebook. If you haven't guessed already, I don't have a facebook account. Now, this is weird, I don't know anybody named Yao, I don't know any Asians for that matter. But the kicker is he knows my name, bear in mind my cell phone is not under my name.

Sent to Yao:
Who are you and what is this?

From Yao:
Is this Derek?

Sent to Yao:
Yes.

From Yao:
This is yao! I was trying to give you info about my bouldering party.

What the FUCK is a bouldering party? I still don't know who this is. I know I was lit up like a Christmas tree last Saturday, but I'm pretty sure I didn't talk to any Yao's, considering the only non-white person at that bar was a black guy. But again, WHAT THE FUCK IS A BOULDERING PARTY?

Sent to Yao:
I don't know any Yao's.

I've gotten no response yet, I am very intrigued as to how this individual "knows" me, but I don't care enough to call him up. And no, I'm not going to the "bouldering party". Sounds like a good way to get jumped by numerous fucks and then gang-raped. I'm sorry, but I'm a worst case scenario kind of guy.

apparently Bouldering is just another term for rock climbing (had to google it). As for how he got your info....no clue in hell....perhaps just a random guess in terms of first name or something....none the less, next time try harder being the fake derek to get more awesome dialog.

Engi-nerd

bouldering is different from rock climbing in that, rock climbing involves climbing rocks (plural), as in a cliff, or part of a mountain. bouldering involves giant, well, boulders (singular) with smooth surfaces that are usually dissected by park staff to accommodate to all levels of climbers.

and knowing is half the battle

So are you coming or not?

Ok, if this guy actually knew me, he would know I was gravitationally challenged and wouldn't invite me to such things.

Yao is a guys name right, I didn't turn down some rice tail did I?



Sorry.

Space, is that Kirsten Dunst?

IM SRS DUDE STAY AWAY FROM ASIANS YOU DO NOT WANT ASIAN GIRLS I KNOW THEY LOOK ALL EXOTIC AND SHIT AND YOU THINK YOU CAN BLAST ON THEIR FACE BUT THEY ARE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PEOPLE ALL IVE DATED ARE ASIANS AND THEY'RE ALL TERRIBLE MEAN LAZY COLD HEARTED PEOPLE WITH GIANT BROWN BEEF CURTAINS

AHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ROAST BEEF VAGINA

I have not a smiley that can convey the amount of disgust I am experiencing.

I KNOW DUDE I WARNED YOU STAY AWAY DO IT DONT ASK QUESTIONS CAN YOU SENSE MY URGENCY IT IS SO URGENCIZING THAT I AM FORSAKING PUNCUATION

but but but if you get one of those hardcore asian chicks that are still all feudal and shit.....is it still bad?....because homemade chinese food is amazing...and if she did it, it wouldn't be like AMERICAN'S ATTEMPT AT CHINESE FOOD...but the real deal

Engi-nerd

Ok great. I love chinese food, and now I'm hungry. But I can't get the thought of roast beef vagina out of my head and I don't want to eat.

Wish they had an Arby's here. Serious lack of Sammiches in this country.

go next door.

http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Proudmoore&n=Sammich

cmon dude get over it. one time i was inserting a cathater into an 800lb woman's urethra when her fat folds from her legs pinched precisely in a manner to erupt one of her herpes sores which shot herpes juice at me.


i matrix dodged it at the last second. then i ate lunch.

And now we know exactly why I'm not in the medical fields.