Weena wrote:
Conan the Barbarian.
That is all.
-/-/-/-
Alright I better say a little more.
Conan exemplifies how great protagonists can be when they aren't lawful good.
Cohen the barbarian is better.
Ghenghiz Cohen, known as Cohen the Barbarian is a hero in the classical sense, ie, a professional thief, brawler and ravisher of women.
The man who introduced the world to the concept of "wholesale" destruction, Cohen is the Discworld's greatest warrior hero, renowned across the Disc for his exploits rescuing maidens, destroying the mad high priests of dark cults, looting ancient ruins, and so on.
On his first appearance in the series he is already an old man, but still tough enough to handle anything the world can throw at him; his opponents often underestimate him because of his age, realising too late that a man who does for a living what Cohen does and nevertheless survives to such an age must be very good at it indeed. Cohen does not know how old he is exactly. In The Light Fantastic, he says he is eighty seven years old, but in others he estimates that he is between 90 and 95 years of age.[4]
Cohen is described as a skinny old man, with a long white beard hanging down below his loincloth, and wearing a patch over one eye. His most distinguishing feature, however, is his smile — his unique dentures are made out of troll teeth, which consist of pure diamond[5] and were inspired when Twoflower showed him his own (more typical) set.
The greatest problems now facing Cohen come from outliving the heroic age and finding himself in a civilised modern world where great battles and astonishing rescues happen rarely except in stories — which is ironic given that the Discworld runs on narrative. One of the rare Discworld short stories, "Troll Bridge", tells of Cohen setting out to slay a troll, only to end up reminiscing with it about the good old days when things were black and white and everyone respected the traditions. Part of Cohen's danger to normal people is that as a barbarian hero he has extreme problems interpreting such things as empty bravado — as a man of his word, he naturally assumes that anyone else saying something like 'I would rather die than betray the Emperor' fully means it. This led to the deaths of several guards and courtiers in the Agatean Empire before everyone wised up.
In Interesting Times Cohen became Emperor of the Agatean Empire, having conquered it with his allies, the Silver Horde (see below). This was intended to be a sort of retirement plan, but Cohen and his chums became bored and then abandoned the Empire in The Last Hero, in which Cohen decides to express his displeasure with the modern world by "returning fire to the gods, with interest". After the rather unsuccessful attempt, he and his friends escaped on the backs of horses belonging to the Valkyries and rode into the sky, seeking to explore the outside of space. His current whereabouts are unknown.
Given a barbarian hero's attractiveness to nubile young maidens, Cohen has quite a lot of children; in The Last Hero he mentions casually that he has dozens. The only one mentioned by name in the novels is Conina, who appears in Sourcery. She wishes to be a hairdresser, but Discworld-style genetics keep getting in the way, causing her to instinctively kill people who threaten her. She was last seen in an amorous relationship with Nijel the Destroyer. Interestingly, she says she actually knew Cohen and that he took an interest in her education — such as setting a length of corridor with a variety of traps for some heroic training.
In The Light Fantastic, Cohen helps the other two protagonists, Rincewind and Twoflower, save a seventeen-year-old girl named Bethan, who was to be offered as a sacrifice. They fall in love, mainly owing to Bethan's patience and skill at curing Cohen's back problems, and decide to get married, despite Rincewind's apprehensions about their age difference. At the end of the book they are not present, and it is assumed that they have left for their marriage. Cohen does mention that he has been married before, however.
