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Filling out internet offers with a fake number won't get you the rewards you want. It will only piss me off when I get 30 calls from telemarketers wanting to talk to you.


Get Cancer,
Dvergar

Dvergar /
Quisling

Just think of it this way: you now have an easy way to vent your anger.

I am THE man.
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee15 ... 171424.jpg

Dear Dvergar,

I already have cancer.

Love,
Katy

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sunshine.kittens.bubblegum.happythoughts

Dear Katy,

Good.

Sincerely,
Dvergar

Dvergar /
Quisling

My dearest Dvergar,

It upsets me greatly to know that you feel that way towards me. My struggle with cancer has not been a pleasant one in any way and has stressed my loved ones far more than I would have ever dreamed. Also, I am generally sorry for putting in your phone number. My overall condition has left me with poor eyesight and less-than-perfect hand-eye coordination which has resulted in me entering information into several forms incorrectly. I hope that after reading this you will perhaps have a better understanding of my situation and perhaps be more patient with me as I struggle to function. If not, I only have a few more weeks left to live anyway so once cancer has finally beaten me, you wont be getting any more phone calls as I of course wont be able to fill in any more forms.

My fondest regards,
Katy

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sunshine.kittens.bubblegum.happythoughts

in before sweet, sweet, I'veonlygot3hourstolive sex.

Dear Katy,

Stop it. And by it, I mean that thing you're doing. Not the thing you're doing right now but the thing that is annoying. Not sure what that thing is though, but you should stop it, or else. "Or else what?" you may ask, and to that I have not response because yet again you are doing that thing I told you not to do before, even before I knew it was annoying...and you are now missing your head because a fucking Grue just cleaved it off and is now carrying it home to skullfuck like a cantaloupe.

In summary, I have no idea what you did, and no intention of finding out, but you should stop it before that Grue behind you skullfucks you.

Sincerely,

The Grue Behind You

Engi-nerd

Dear Katy,

I would like to believe an honest mistake on your part, however two issues throw doubt on your story. First, when I pressed the young man on the phone for the full name he was looking for, his sheepish response was "Katy Superman". I find it highly unlikely that is your real name.

Secondly, simply flubbing a phone number is certainly possible. It would be more believable would my phone number not end 4321. You are not the first person to give out my number as your own, and you will undoubtedly not be the last.

The calls have stopped since my earliest missive, so I can only assume that the almighty god that I do not believe in has stuck you down with lightning bolts from his ass.

May this be a warning to you,
Dvergar

Dvergar /
Quisling

Dear katy

Can we hook up?

I am THE man.
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee15 ... 171424.jpg

confused i am.

Dear Dvergar,


Hi? How are you?


Sincerely,

Me.

My dearest Dverger,
Regrettably the hospital has limited my internet access and I am thus unable to attempt to fill out any forms that would involve me divulging personal information.
I am glad to hear that the phone calls have ended and I am sorry for any inconvenience you have gone through due to my own mistakes.
Best of Luck,
Katy Superman

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sunshine.kittens.bubblegum.happythoughts