@English assignments

Jushiro · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:43 am

I wasn't born with a creative brain so stop being so vague and open ended >.<

Necrachilles · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:46 am

Jushiro wrote:

I wasn't born with a creative brain so stop being so vague and open ended >.<

Just lie.

Aestu · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:01 am

What Necra said. Or let me write it for you. What's the prompt?

Eturnalshift · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:53 am

Aestu wrote:

Or let me write it for you.

Pages of senseless bloat without making a point... it might actually work.

Jushiro · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:01 am

Eturnalshift wrote:

Aestu wrote:

Or let me write it for you.

Pages of senseless bloat without making a point... it might actually work.

Nope it's technical writing.

edit:

oh and I have to do a memo, description of a mechanism and a comparison report.

I've already done the first 2....

zzzz

Fantastique · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:38 am

pretty sure Aestu would wipe the floor with the rest of us on any writing assignment

Aestu · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:00 am

Aestu drily went about her mundane task. Forward and back, forward and back she scrubbed the bloodstains off the deck of the crashed spaceship. The click-clack of her hooves resounded in the capacious hall.

In the three hours or so she'd been at the tedious work - definitely the most inglorious daily duty she'd yet undertaken for the sake of earning reputation with her guild - the squidgoat had picked up some of the finer points of the art of scrubbing. For example, which brush to use for which stain - rough Tauren hair seemed best for excising resilient splattering of internal organs, while silky Sindorei hair proved best for shining and polishing banisters. Forsaken skin, spongy and porous, was definitely best for general-purpose cleaning.

Man, what a grind...

The scalp formerly attached to a not-too-bright blood elf hunter had become dull, discolored, and thin with material fatigue from having been run so many times over the titanium hull. Aestu gazed at the fresh scalp next to her and considered whether it was time to chuck the exhausted implement in favor of a fresh scrubber. The fresh scalp was still brilliant amber, dessicated by smoke and salt and preserved with osmosis of gelatin. Indeed, the scalps hardly felt more coarse or stale than her own hair while under the influence of the magical orb she had acquired from the last Sunstrider.

Whimsically Aestu decided in favor of the new scalp and chucked the old over her shoulder; it joined a large pile of likewise expended scalps. Gritting her teeth - her fangs locked in lower jaw before compact, steel-colored tongue - Aestu patiently exerted her strong but smooth cobalt-blue arms at her task, awaiting the next stage of the event. She eagerly awaited playing a more glorious role in making the ship flyable once more.

In her mind she composed the memo she intended to send to the Hand of Argus - no doubt they tired of her self-righteous outspokenness - protesting the injustice of her current assignment. Oh well, only another week at most, then back to slaying things...

Azelma · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:23 am

Fantastique wrote:

pretty sure Aestu would wipe the floor with the rest of us on any writing assignment

I beg to differ - I did get 5s on two different AP English tests

In all seriousness though, I think we need to have a competition. Someone find an English teacher, have her give FUBU an assignment, then grade everyone.

Edit: Though even if Aestu didn't get the best grade of all of us, he would certainly come up with a long diatribe on how unfair the grading was, and how really he still wrote better than everyone. So nothing would be learned.

Aestu · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:54 am

Quote:

From: phd duder [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, April 14, 2011 4:04 PM
To: Aestu
Subject: RE: Capstone/Livy

Hi Ethan,

I've just been looking again at Livy Book 5 and the interactions among the senate, the consular tribunes and the plebian tribunes. All of your quotes come from this section of Livy. That's both good and bad; bad because it is a rather discrete and odd period of Roman history, and we don't other accounts to corroborate any conclusions we might make; but good because the interaction among the three groups is given in great detail (of course then there is the question of where Livy finds the story - sigh). Regardless, what is plain in Livy's account is that the plebian tribunes are far from united in their behavior; the senate is already able to coopt some of them; there aren't even enough plebian candidates for the office. If the plebian tribunes are blocking the election of consuls, in this case the consular tribunes they get are hardly a benefit to the plebs. All of this is the kind of context you need to provide in the section on this issue. The events of this time illustrate well, I think, that the plebian tribunate is already becoming a creature of the Roman elite, an instrument that does nothing substantial to change the social strata in Rome and much to keep power in the hands of the few, albeit of both patrician and plebian descent. It is in this context that your inclusion of consular/military tribunes is most powerful.

PS I haven't thought this much about a paper in a long time - which is a testament to your insight.

Azelma · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:13 am

Quote:

From: guy with two phds [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 10:14 AM
To: Azelma
Subject: RE: Am I a better writer who is also smarter than Aestu?

Hi Scott,

I would like to thank you for the opportunity to read what you've written. In regards to your question, I considered your stunning looks, intellect, and overall jovial nature while making my assessment. I'm happy to inform you that I have decided you are indeed a better writer than Aestu.

PS: I haven't thought about someone who is this much smarter than an academic like myself (and one like Aestu) in a long time. Even with my two PhDs and numerous accolades I feel woefully inadequate when faced with your dizzying intellect.

quadtard · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:21 am

Quote:

From: Eturnal
Sent: sometime i forget
To: Azelma
Subject: RE: The man

Well, I just guessed. You're the man and all, so I figured you could have any woman under the Canadian sun. Hell, you could probably have any woman under any sun! But, you're a seemingly classy guy so I don't think you'd rail dozens upon dozens of women. Instead, I feel like you'd carefully choose those in which you bed with, only giving dime pieces your rod. I know few women in the world worthy of a man of your caliber... far fewer in North America... but I just have a feeling there are a couple who would flock to you from thousands of miles around as if it was a natural calling. Of those few, you'd carefully select which ones to reward for their journey; the rest, you cast off. The rewarded, which I estimate to be somewhere between three and six persons, would get railed harder than ever before. Then, I estimate you railed at least one (possibly three) fat girl(s) at a party(ies). I also suspect there were two encounters with 'girlfriends', but I'm uncertain of this since the man is too manly to be tied down to one or two girls.

Eturnalshift · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:29 am

Usdk · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:38 am

I aced all my english writing courses. it's all just bullshit piled onto a decent frame.

Zaryi · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:40 am

english is easy :s

not sure how anyone w/half a brain wouldn't do well in it

Azelma · **Posted:** Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:41 am

Quote:

From: Jon Stewart
Sent: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 11:00 AM CE
To: quadtard
Subject: RE: Comedy and Passover

You are exactly right! I've never seen a chick do that with unleavened bread before. Let's just say if we were trapped in a room naked, with only enough oil to last us for one night...I'd pray we'd get Hanukkah lucky. I'd definitely need all 8 crazy nights. In regards to your other question, I think you definitely have a future in comedy! I'll have a talk with the network fat cats over here at Comedy Central (Steve Weinstein and Sol Rosenberg) and see if we can't get you your own show. I'm thinking something like the Colbert Report, only it covers financial/investment topics with you as the sarcastic host. I'm sure all the Goyims will love it.

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