Dungeon design is at a crossroads.
Various issues:
-Excessive queue time
-Continuity with lore
-The impatience of DPS
-Tank megalomania
-Healer angst
-Lack of coordination amongst random puggers
-Lack of PvP/PvE balance and synergy
-Actively involving players in the game story
-Integration of pop culture references into all content
I offer a proposal to completely reconceive LFD instances, update them to a more modern paradigm.
Uldum. One of the most popular zones in the expansion. The "Fashionist" quest chain ends abruptly, without an associated instance. I propose we fix that.
The "Fashionist" quest chain was, obviously, based on the acclaimed classic movie
Raiders of the Lost Ark. And so, the "sequel", the instance, should follow a congruent setting.
I propose that setting be...
Operation Condor.
The instance layout would be very simple. A box-shaped room. Filled with cheap design elements like ammo crates, gold-filled chests and Fashionist paraphernalia. A flying machine in the corner. Some nondescript mechanical junk. The models already exist and would be perfect to create an appropriate setting. Compatible with both the modern instance design paradigm and the lore.
Tanks, with their love of getting as many foes on them at a time and serial face-to-face action, their grossly exaggerated hero complexes, will play the role of the protagonist, taking on waves of greedy Neo-Fashionists in true Jackie Chan style...one at a time, swinging, reacting, chain-taunting with an endless supply of one-liners.
As soon as the DPS queue, they are instantly teleported into the instance, where they receive a buff similar to that in Culling of Stratholme. Only rather than pretending to be a member of Arthas' army, instead they assume the role of a Fashionist flunky!
This will suit the DPS well. Many LFD DPS are sadly undergeared...the result of long, long LFD queues and how hard it is to get gear...hunters that don't have guns and rogues that don't have knives - just like the
Operation Condor bogeymen! Rather than having to communicate or coordinate with the other randoms, the same approach is appropriate - charge that sanctimonious do-gooder who thinks he's better than you are until he's zerged down!
And as for the healers. Ohh the healers. Such a sad plight they face. =/
No Jackie Chan movie would be complete without a robed damsel in distress! "HAAAALLPP MEEE!!!!"
The tank - just like Mr Chan - need only hold off the flunkies until he's relived by the next tank in the queue. As for DPS...well, gear and progression shouldn't be skill based. Do you really think Neo-Fashionists are hired for their incredible unarmed fighting skillz? As long as they hit queue and the tank sends them flying across the room with a single heroic strike, they ought to get their points at the end.
You know you want this.
Dynamic tanking.
Fast-paced DPS.
Healers being saved every time.
Amazing, contiguous lore.
Instant queues.
The fists of Jackie Chan demand you support this proposal now.
(reposted from MMOC for your enjoyment)
