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I was at a museum in Philly, and I was reading about this fellow who, during an American Revolution battle, ran with the flag, and had it shot out of his hands twice, picking it up both times and continuing the charge.
His name was something like Barger or something, but I can't Google-fu it.
"Ok we aren't such things and birds are pretty advanced. They fly and shit from anywhere they want. While we sit on our automatic toilets, they're shitting on people and my car while a cool breeze tickles their anus. That's the life."
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