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| Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo already] https://bucketguild.mooserve.org/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=10031 |
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| Author: | Battletard [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo already] |
If you are easily offended, gtfo. |
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| Author: | Battletard [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
I used to be a sadistic necrophiliac with a penchant for bestiality, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse. I like my women like I like my scotch-- 12 years old and mixed up with coke. I like my women like I like my wine-- 12 years old and locked in the cellar. I like my women like I like my coffee-- ground up and in the freezer. What does the agnostic insomniac who suffers from dyslexia do all night? Stays up late at night wondering if there really is a dog. How is spinach like anal sex? If you didn't enjoy it as a child, you sure as fuck won't like it as an adult! How did Helen Keller lose her virginity? Someone left the plunger in the toilet. How did Helen Keller burn her left ear? She answered the iron. How did she burn her right ear? It called her back. Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman. What did Helen Keller say after putting down the cheese grater? 'That was the worst book I've ever read!' A black guy is enjoying a night out at the local club pounding beers and talking to women. He leaves the club late that night with a white girl. They get into his car and drive to her apartment. Upon arriving she says to him 'So....show me if its true what they say about black guys..' So he stabs her and steals her purse! A 12 year old boy chases a stray soccer ball into the street and is promptly struck by a car. A woman witnesses this accident and rushes to his aid. Cradling him in her arms as he lays dying in the road, she whispers 'Shall I run and get a priest?' He replies 'Lady, how can you even think about sex at a time like this?' |
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| Author: | Lucinth [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
The black guy joke got me. Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk |
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| Author: | Azelma [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice? -- Rub your bloody dick on her favorite Teddy Bear What's the best thing about having sex with an 8 year old girl in the shower? -- Slick her hair back and she looks like an 8 year old boy! So Jesus walks into an Inn, goes up to the innkeeper and hands him 3 nails then says "Can you put me up for the night?" So, a baby seal walks into a club. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a BMW? -- I don't have a BMW in my garage. Why is Aspirin white? -- Because it works. What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? -- A pizza can feed a family of four. How do you hide a welfare check from a black man? -- Put it under his work boots. How do you impregnate a Polish girl? -- Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest. How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white girl? -- Throw them a basketball! |
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| Author: | Weena [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 11:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
What do you say if you see you're TV floating at night? Drop it nigger. If Asians had a professional driving sport, what would it be? Bumper Cars. What does a old lady's crotch smell like? Depends. |
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| Author: | Azelma [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese. So I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts when I was a kid.... ....I got caught eating a Brownie. |
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| Author: | quadtard [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
how do you kill a retard? -give them a knife and ask them who's special how do you kill a retard? -put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool a black man and an apple are in a tree at the same height, and fall off at the same time, which hits the ground first? -the apple because the black mans tied to the tree |
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| Author: | Kayllaira [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 11:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
~Why would it suck to be a black Jew? You'd have to sit at the back of the oven. ~Why is there cotton at the top of pill bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers. |
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| Author: | Krizen [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
Tw |
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| Author: | somebeach [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
There's a black man in my family tree ...he's still hanging there why couldn't ray charles read? cuz he was black why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on the holidays whats long and hard on a black man? 3rd grade how do you save a black man from drowning? take your foot off his head how do you get a black man out of a tree? cut the rope why do black people like basketball so much? it involves shooting, stealing, and running what do you call one black person on the moon? a problem what do you call ten black people on the moon? a bigger problem what do you call a hundred black people on the moon? an even bigger problem what do you call all the black people on the moon? problem solved a few of the jokes we used to tell at football practice >.> |
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| Author: | quadtard [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
how do you get eturnal to kill himself? Tell him Obama cloned himself, ran himself for pres and VP for 2012 and won, then swapped up and won again in 2016. How do you get react to kill his dad? Get him to shake his dads hand. How do you get mayo to kill himself? Nothing, he will in time if left alone. |
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| Author: | Weena [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
Little Johnny is at Sunday School, and the teacher decides to ask which part of the body goes up to heaven first. Mary answers, "The head". The teacher asks why, and Mary says "Because it's the top of the body, and you go up head first." "Very good." says the teacher. "What does someone else think?" Timmy answers, "The heart, because that's where love comes from." "Excellent" says the teacher. Little Johnny raises his hand eagerly. "Yes Johnny?" asks the teacher. "What do you think?" Johnny answers "The head for men. But the feet for women." Confused, the teacher asks "Why the feet?" Johnny replies, "One time, mommy was yelling 'Oh God' over and over, and her feet were the closest thing to heaven. Daddy was praising God with her, but his head was closer than his feet." |
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| Author: | Azelma [ Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
So this girl goes to the doctor...and she has this terrible rash on her chest in the shape of a capital "H" The doctor says, "what happened?" She says, "Oh my boyfriend graduated from Harvard, and every time we have sex he insists on wearing his Harvard sweater." So the doctor says "Ah, I see" and gives her some medicine to get rid of the rash. The next day another girl comes in, and she's got a huge rash on her chest in the shape of a capital "Y" The doctor says, "what happened?" She says, "Oh my boyfriend graduated from Yale, and every time we have sex he insists on wearing his Yale sweater." So the doctor says "Ah, I see" and gives her some medicine to get rid of the rash. The next day, a girl comes in with a terrible rash on her chest in the shape of a capital "M" The doctor says, "wait wait, let me guess...your boyfriend went to Michigan?" She says, "no...my girlfriend went to Wisconsin." |
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| Author: | Fantastique [ Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
Azelma wrote: So this girl goes to the doctor...and she has this terrible rash on her chest in the shape of a capital "H" The doctor says, "what happened?" She says, "Oh my boyfriend graduated from Harvard, and every time we have sex he insists on wearing his Harvard sweater." So the doctor says "Ah, I see" and gives her some medicine to get rid of the rash. The next day another girl comes in, and she's got a huge rash on her chest in the shape of a capital "Y" The doctor says, "what happened?" She says, "Oh my boyfriend graduated from Yale, and every time we have sex he insists on wearing his Yale sweater." So the doctor says "Ah, I see" and gives her some medicine to get rid of the rash. The next day, a girl comes in with a terrible rash on her chest in the shape of a capital "M" The doctor says, "wait wait, let me guess...your boyfriend went to Michigan?" She says, "no...my girlfriend went to Wisconsin." I don't get it |
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| Author: | Meowth [ Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Unmoderated Fucked Up Jokes [NSFW, seriously, gtfo alrea |
Because it's a terrible joke. Think 69ing |
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