Oh hell, why not:
Quote:
Ethan Farber was born on 7/5/85 at American River Hospital in Carmichael, CA. At birth he had a cleft palate and underdeveloped, receded chin (Pierre Robin Syndrome). This complicated his care and feeding in the first few months, although his hearing and speech were never affected and within a few months, his chin grew to normal size in proportion to his face, leaving no noticeable trace of facial abnormality.
At 14 months the soft palate cleft was successfully repaired by Dr. Robert Faggella.
All developmental milestones were met on time. From within a few weeks of birth Ethan was a noticeably alert and “self aware” infant. He was clearly very bright and engaged in the world around him.
By age 2, when participating in play groups and other activities with agemates, Ethan would wander off to do his own activities as the others sat in a circle with their pails and shovels. Ethan would be walking among the trees at the park or digging a tunnel in the sand at a distance from them. He did not seem in any distress. He smiled a lot, communicated with his parents and others. We and others attributed this distance from his age-mates to his precocious intellectual development.
By age 3, Ethan was reading the newspaper daily, had an extraordinary vocabulary, and use of language. He built structures for hours at home. He was always physically active moving the contents of the house around to make things.
Ethan began preschool at Shalom School. He immediately had difficulty. He kept himself separate from the other children, and was soon the target of taunts and bullying. He did have kids he played with and who became friends.
Ethan attended American River prep school o Engle Road in Carmichael, f rom grades 1 through 3. The school was very small, innovative in methods and materials and he did well there. There were other very bright kids like him there and also learning disabled kids. There was mutual respect, everyone advanced at their own pace and the teachers were committed. Near the end of the third grade, the owner/headmaster announced she had sold the school to the corporation that owns Merryhill School and she retired.
Stunned and frantic we enrolled Ethan in the Rapid Learner program at Deterding School in the San Juan School district. To be accepted he needed an IQ test, he scored 155. The classes were much larger, the playground scene was a very diverse group of kids and behaviors and little supervision. His classroom teacher was immediately ill disposed to Ethan and us,. She was very interested in pleasing and hobnobbing with the very well to do professional parents of some of her students. She sent her own children to Country Day school and was dismissive of the public school system, Deterding, and her less glamorous families. She struck many of us the wrong way without apology. The playground taunts and assaults on Ethan began. She did nothing to stop them and in the classroom set up activity groups and study groups which penalized the kids not in her good stead. She had operated this way for years, the principal knew it and it was accepted and unaddressed. Midyear Ethan was moved by mutual consent to the Rapid Learner Program at Del Paso Manor School.
In 5th grade, Ethan was being picked on at lunch time, even though he was quite well accepted by the very bright and mature kids in his class. He became deeply depressed. We took him to see Dr. Richard Mancina, a child psychiatrist attached to Heritage Oaks Hospital. Ethan began home instruction with a San Juan Unified School District instructor. She was a nice woman, but a very weak teacher. Ethan returned for sixth grade. It was very difficult. He was taking many different medications in large amounts. The medications were changed frequently and Mancina often choose very new medications with no track record. Ethan had been hospitalized for 5 days just before the start of 6th grade. He was put on the medication Effexor which seemed to help awhile.
Several months into 6th grade, Ethan continued to be severely depressed, lethargic, and difficult at school. He was put on home instruction again.
Ethan was hospitalized in September/October 1997. Mancina admitted Ethan to Heritage Oaks Hospital but continued using the same medications in large amounts that had been ineffective and harmful. Ethan remained in very bad shape. We realized we desperately needed another doctor. Michael called a classmate/old friend, that was a child psychiatrist in Colorado, who understood that antidepressant medication was exacerbating Ethan’s problem and we called Dr, Diamond, another local child psychiatrist. He responded immediately, and came to see Ethan. We discharged Dr. Mancina and Ethan was moved to Sierra Vista Hospital, where Dr. Diamond was on staff. He changed the medications to the same recommendation as Michael’s friend/classmate.
Ethan eventually improved. It took awhile for Dr. Diamond to detox him from the previous regimen and for Ethan to calm down.
Ethan returned home and was placed at La Vista School, a special ed school for children with behavioral and emotional problems. Many of the kids had conduct disorders, histories of abuse, and drug use. There was no appropriate academic program for him. He was picked on immediately. He complained to us and we to the school about bullying and assaults. The worst assault occurred on the school bus which he was required to take. A 16 year old beat him up with an umbrella on the bus. Ethan was banned from the bus. The other child continued to ride the bus. Presumably Ethan was too much trouble to protect.
Ethan could not continue there and we requested he be placed in a more appropriate setting. After consulting with Miriam Bodin in Palo Alto, a well respected educational placement specialist, we requested Ethan be placed in the Glenholme School in Washington, CT. which is run by the Devereaux Foundation. Michael’s mother and younest brother were living in Amherst, MA, which was near the school. Devereaux has a number of schools for autistic, developmental delayed, and other special needs children. After a mediation, expert testimony, and hiring an expensive lawyer from S.F., the school district agreed.
Ethan attended Glenholme for 14 months. After 10 months, he had basically outgrown the program and we eventually brought him home to return to family and a more regular school situation.
He was not ready for the lack of structure and the stress of a regular high school, so we enrolled him, at Bodin’s recommendation, at the John Woolman School in Nevada City. The school was run by the Quakers, had about 60 students, and was in an isolated, rustic setting. They seemed accepting and academically focused. Within months we found the school students were deeply into drugs and the school tacitly accepted substance abuse and inappropriate sexual conduct. Ethan was the youngest there. He didn’t participate in the substance abuse. At first he wasn’t really bothered and was left alone since he had nothing in common with the other students. He came home every weekend independently riding the bus from Nevada City. He increasingly became irritated by the hypocrisy of the place. Academically, except for a few classes, the school was inadequate. Ethan wanted to attend Rio Americano High School, our neighborhood school which the children he had grown up alongside attended. Ethan was still a special ed student and we went to the school a f ew days before the start of the academic (10th grade) year. He was enrolled in English I and II, Food Class, Math, Biology, and World History. Ethan expected this was a “real” school, with good teachers, mature and well behaved students. Not exactly. The food teacher was unable to control the class; classwork and homework were silly and juvenile, appropriate for much younger children; she was frequently absent, and there was general chaos in her room. Ethan was soon picked on and taunted by many in the class. Food and objects were thrown at him, he was taunted constantly. One day, a student from the class chased him around campus punching him on the side of the head. We brought these issues to Mrs. Crespillo many times. She said she needed the names of the students involved and for Ethan to come to her office and write a statement. Ethan did not know their names (and he didn’t really understand how to find out their names) and he was afraid reporting the problems would make them worse. Mrs. Crespillo presented a hostile stance to him.
Since our first meeting with her, we had sensed hostility to us and our son. Ethan continued to be bullied and assaulted at Rio. Mrs. Crespillo remained inflexible in her demands even though we explained his disability to her and he was identified as a disabled student from the time he entered the school. The many incidents we brought to her attention and which on occasion Ethan tried to get help with, were never acted on by her (see attached). Ethan eventually stopped attending the food class and met with Mr. Cuckovich independently on campus to complete food class. In the spring, Ethan was excorted to the office one day without warning by Mrs. Crespilllo. In the office, Ethan was additionally met by another vice principal and a uniformed officer. He was told that he had to submit to a search, that they had received a phone call that Ethan had written plans to destroy the school. Ethan was very upset, told them it was preposterous and that he wanted to call his parents first. Mrs. Crespillo denied him the call and said “we don’t to call them”. They forced a search. Nothing, of course, was found. They did not inform us of this accusation and search until several hours later. Ethan was already home at this time. He was extremely upset afterwards and called home to be picked up immediately. When Mrs. Crespillo called later, she denied knowing who had called her, the name of the student who had passed along this false information, or any interest to investigate this false rumor. Her action in this instance was in direct opposition to her response to our complaints which always had to be accompanied by a precise identified of the perpetrator and written statements from the complaintant. The IEPs previously had clearly stated that we should be called if Ethan was upset or if their were disciplinary issues. No apology was ever made and at this point Mrs. Crespillo continued to treat Ethan as if he were guilty. The effect of the search was devastating to Ethan; he felt surrounded by rumors at the mercy of Mrs. Crespillo and uniformed police on campus.
This event was the downfall of Ethan’s school year. He refused to return to school for many days and ultimately missed many days that completing the work in a regular classroom was impossible. By the end of the school year Ethan was on home and hospital instruction on campus. The taunting and bullying continued this time. Mrs, Crespillo continued to take no action to help Ethan.
When he finally returned to school following the search he was very depressed. One day, in Health class, there was a cricket on the floor as the others reacted with mock horror to the cricket and Ethan hit it with his pencil and killed it. This shocked some of the students and Ethan responded to them by saying I don’t have any regard for insects or people. This remark was immediately brought to Crespillo, who then deemed Ethan too dangerous to continue at school. The school demanded Gordon Ulrey, Ethan’s psychologist, consult with the school as an emergency to explain Ethan’s behavior. At the IEP, around early April 2001, Dr. Ulrey explained how individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome frequently are not understood, their statements are misinterpreted, and the patient’s do not appreciate the effect their remarks have on other people. He told the school that Ethan was not dangerous to himself or others and would benefit by continuing st school perhaps with a limited day. Mrs. Crespillo attended the meeting when Dr. Ulrey made these statements. At the meeting there were members of the IEP team and advocates who spoke in support of Ethan.
Ethan returned for 11th grade with an IEP which gave him 2 courses with home and hospital instructor, Jim Holmes on campus and 2 regular daily classes on campus. Ethan would also take Latin at Sac State .
Starting on the second day of 11th grade, rocks were thrown at Ethan every day at lunchtime. I went to complain to Mrs. Crespillo. She said she needed names. Ethan didn’t have names because the rocks were thrown from behind. He was verbally harassed continuously, his bicycle was sabotaged several times, he was called faggot continually, he was harassed by students in cars near campus as he rode his bike to and from school. Mrs. Crespillo inflexible response to our complaints was always the same.
Finally a few weeks ago Ethan hit a student in his English class, with his bicycle helmet, after the student called a faggot in the classroom in front of other classmates. The student was not hurt at all. He had been taunting Ethan for many weeks and had acknowledged to Ethan the previous day that he had been throwing rocks at him. He laughingly told Ethan that he did it because he felt like it.
Crespillo suspended Ethan for 5 days. We felt this was excessive in light of the persistent assaults and taunting. She said we could appeal this to the principal, Robert Hollingsworth. We spoke to him. He said he would call Michael at his office with his decision within an hour. Rather than reduce the suspension or even uphold it, he called to tell Michael that he decided to expel Ethan. Two hours later Crespillo called to say the principal was rescinding his recommendation because special ed staff informed that this was illegal. An IEP was convened for the following week.
Just before this IEP, we werer informed that Ethan could not return to school (following the end of the suspension) without an aid to be with him at all times. We felt this was obstructive to Ethan. He had made some friends and acquaintances at the school and just wanted to go about his business unbothered. We agreed because Ethan wanted to return to school.
At the IEP which was convened for the day Ethan returned to school the principal Hollingswortg said he had 1800 students at Rio and that no other student was like our son. He said no other student acted talked behaved like our son and therefore our son didn’t belong
At Rio. Special Ed person Shelly Ellinghaus said their recommendation was that Ethan go to the SED class at Mira Loma HS. We immediately said No. This is absolutely inappropriate for Ethan. He is bright, well mannered, quiet spoken middle class kid who is not violent and has been diagnosed with Asperger’s. Nothing would be accomplished by sending him to such a setting other than sending him into a deeper depression, destroying his plans for attending UC and moving him for the school district’s convenience.
Just before the IEP was convened staff at the district special ed. office informed us Ethan could not return to school unless he was accompanied by an aide. We felt this was intrusive for Ethan who had made some friends and acquaintances at the school and just wanted to go about his activities unbothered. We agreed because Ethan wanted to go to school, and the school had clearly made the decision they were not going to help stop harassment of our son, nor were they going to discipline the students who were harassing continually.
After the suspension Ethab returned to school. The aide sat in the English class and shadowed Ethan at a distance throughout his time on campus.
Things went very well. The aide’s presence sent a clear message to the other students to leave Ethan alone. Left alone, Ethan flourished and relaxed, expanded his social interactions and got excellent grades.
Another IEP was held; we had hired a lawyer, Michele Ball because the previous IEP meeting was very hostile. The principal and the special ed people we had recruited (with one exception) to facilitate his goal had made it very clear their goal was to remove Ethan from Rio. Since the aide’s presence had calmed things for Ethan and therefore there were no new incidents to bring up as evidence, it was agreed by all that Ethan would continue at Rio with the aide in place and his program as it was.
On 11/9 Ethan got into a verbal exchange with a kid who had been hassaling him for a while. Eventually Ethan grazed the kid on the arm. The kid went off laughing. Ethan was referred to Crespillo in some way. Then in some way a sheriff’s deputy was involved. Michael got a call at his office that Ethan was being taken to the Mental Health facility. Michael asked for time for us to come and get him at the school. He told the deputy that this Ethan is not depressed.. The deputy Cleeg hung up I on Michael. Michael reached us a while later at the orthodontist. With our youger son., I left
the orthodontist with him and went to the facility on Stockton Blvd. After many phone calls between Michael and the staff, Ethan was released. He came home very upset and sobbed for hours. Ethan still wanted to return to school and work on his life there now that the bullying stopped. We still don’t know where the aide was at the time the confrontation Friday afternoon.
On Monday I spoke to attorney Ball. She said she had never had a student taken to Mental Health facility and that she would write to the school district for information on what had happened.
Ethan returned to school on Monday. He felt less hopeful and more vulnerable. He got through the week. On Friday afternoon he and I were to meet with Chris Brownfield to discuss his SAT scores and plan his program for the next semester. The appt was for 1:45. I got there at that time and Ethan about 10-15 minutes later. She and all the other counselors were running late. Ethan waited for a while and then angrily said he was
walking home. I had papers for her to sign to approve him taking classes elsewhere. SoI said I would wait for her.
I went into her office at about 2:10-2:15. We both acknowledged Ethan had his disabilities and that his intellectual and other strengths would be his survival. His SATs were very good and she talked about other tests. The phone rang; it was Crespillo. She told Brownfield Ethan had hit another kid and said he was going to kill him. Crespillo had asked Ethan to accompany her to Brownfield’s office. He refused. Brownfield told Crespillo that I was there and to ask Ethan if he would walk back to meet me there. She called back to say Ethan would not do that and that he was near the administration building and I should go over there. I went in that direction. As I got there I saw
Ethan walking around. There many other people there-police, school staff. A female officer approached me. I recognized seeing her on campus other times. She asked if I was Ethan mother. I acknowledged that. She asked my first name. I said I was Mrs Farber.(I’m not a friend or familiar of the officer) She said ”Is that what you want to be called?” I said yes. We walked into her office and she said Ethan was being arrested for making terroristic threats. I asked “What does that mean?” She said he had hit and threatened to kill another student. I said “He’s not killing anybody.” I know my school and the school supposed does too. I said I would take him home immediately. Officer entered, folded his arms across his chest and informed me very loudly that he was arresting Ethan for a felony for assaulting and threatening a student. Cleeg about 5ft 6 barrelchested 30’s had entered with Crespillo. I repeated that he wasn’t going to kill anyone and that I would take him home immediately. Clegg said he was taking him to Juvenile Hall. I said Ethan is sick and needs health care. Clegg said loudly ”He needs mental health care” I said he doesn’t need to be in juvenile hall, he needs health care. Mrs. Crespillo said nothing to support my statements that Ethan is ill, despite the fact she has known in detail about Ethan’s health issues for over a year. She had heard them discussed in detail at IEPs and in meetings with Michael and me. I asked Cleeg if he was the person who sent Ethan to Mental Health the week before. He said Yes. He said very angrily that he had spoken to my husband at that time and that my husband was angry. He said this all angrily. Clegg had in fact hung up on Michael at that time. Clegg said to stay out of the way or I’ll arrest you too.
Of course, physically I could not stop these people. From the moment I saw Cleeg I noted his angry attitude and knowing that he had been involved in the incident the week before, I was immediately concerned he would use excessive force. I followed then around as they tried to handcuff Ethan because I was afraid Ethan would be roughed up excessively. They all (Ethan and the cops) went into Crespillo’s office. Then the three office tackled Ethan to put the handcuffs on. Then the three cops were on Ethan on the floor.Ethan was on the floor between a metal desk and the wall. Clegg was on top of him. Ethan began to cry out “You’re breaking my arm” I pushed past the female I looked down. Ethan’s arm was dark purple. I stumbled back as they shifted on the floor. Cleeg yelled at me”Don’t get my shoes dirty.” The large sergeant threw me face first into the wall.. He was arresting me for interfering with the officers. I squirmed because he was pushing my face into the face into the wall so hard my glasses were twisting out of shape and were about to break. He twisted my arm very very hard and handcuffe me, I think he also put some other restraint on my left arm.He said ” I knew I was going to arrest you.” Ethan was handcuffed and taken out of the room. I was put into a chair in Crespillo’s office with my arms behind me. The sargent asked me my first name. I said Mrs Farber. That’s what you want to be called. He asked numerous times what medications I was taking and was I seeing a couselor. After being asked this many times I said “I take Tylenol” He sat down opposite me, looked through my purse for my drivers license. He asked my addresss, phone number.I did not see Ethan again or Cleeg until later when the sergeant told me that Ethan had been taken away in the car to Juvenile hall. At that time Clegg and the female entered the room. After promising the sergeant that I would appear at court on 12/7 I was un-handcuffed and told I could leave.
While I was in the chair I heard them say Ethan had kicked out the window of the police car.
