Bucket Guild | FUBU BH Forums

Digging through my hard drive, I found some old forum posts:

How To Appropriately Use Lay On Hands?
Skinning Improvment: Skin Live Beasts
Why Don't Eredar Wear Shirts?
Why haven't YOU killed Yogg-Saron yet?
The REAL Reason Wintergrasp Favors Horde
squidgoat Shaman Must Be Stopped
Does the Black Dragonflight Commit Incest?
Bear Wall: NEW Feral Druid Ability
Character Chest Size Should Scale By Stamina
Group Support For Rogues - Enslave Humanoid

How To Appropriately Use Lay On Hands? 07/07/2008 09:55:52 PM EDT
I'm wondering what the appropriate way to use Lay on Hands is.

It seems kind of...strange, and more than a little inappropriate, to take another person and firmly press down on them with both hands. In the heat of combat the person is often in a stressed and highly excitable state; they are in a state of physical exertion, perspiring heavily, generally with armor ripped and torn from many blows and falls. Sometimes, I am compelled to lay both my hands on such a person, often a large, beefy warrior whose touch is nonetheless quite tender, as evidenced by damage meters. It's often an individual of the opposite gender, or sometimes it's a female night elf.

What parts should I Lay on Hands, and which should I avoid? The hands and arms are generally blocked by weapon and shield, and the head and shoulders seem rather bad options as well. The most obvious and convenient places are...well, questionable, and grasping the tank by the chest seems to be something that could be easily misinterpreted.

I have failed to find clear guidance on this matter amongst the ranks of the Alliance and so I have looked to the Horde...and gazed on in disgust. I do recall in arena once, I encounted a team of five blood elf paladins. I'm pretty sure they were all male, but there's no telling. They certainly seemed to take glee in endlessly Laying on Hands each other, perpetuating the battle while cackling that annoying, yet strangely comely, blood elf laugh.

As guardians of the Light, we paladins must be mindful of propriety. How to approrpriately Lay On Hands, and do to so in a decent way, that does not excite our passions nor those of others - I am, after all, a not unattractive female squidgoat that might be mistaken for a succubus - is an open question.

I'm looking for guidance.

Skinning Improvment: Skin Live Beasts 10/01/2008 09:31:57 PM EDT
Skinning could be a popular profession amongst hunters, but unfortunately, it is slow to level and requires killing mobs. I propose a fix:

Live Skinning
Passive Ability, Trained, Level 75
Seize and violently rip the skin from a still-living skinnable creature at least 20 levels lower than both yourself and your skinning level / 5. Produces a large amount of threat. Nearby creatures, alarmed at this atrocity, will aggro.

Such an ability will remove the "grind" component from farming hides, and be beneficial to the game economy and hunters in particular.
Looking for support.

Why Don't Eredar Wear Shirts? 06/27/2008 10:47:35 AM EDT
It's a simple question.

squidgoat always wear shirts, and generally even more conservative garb - robes in the case of casters/clerics and full body armor in the case of soldiers and melee. Civilians don tunics or dresses. Presumably the squidgoat have much the same mores regarding fashion and decency as the other races.

The squidgoat and Eredar used to be the same people. At what point did their fashions diverge, and what was the reasoning? Did the pre-corruption Eredar fashion more closely resemble that of the squidgoat or Eredar as they exist today? Who or what determined their divergence in fashion, and what does this indicate about their cultural values? I can't imagine Sargeras insists his chosen remove their shirts and wear chain kilts.

Clarification?

Why haven't YOU killed Yogg-Saron yet?
A rogue who happened to be the only engineer in the raid was called out for hitting a cloud. After we wiped, we needed to repair. He positioned the repair bot on top of the crystal where no one else could reach it. We tried to use a mammoth but got stuck in combat because of a griefing ex-guild member who got locked to our raid ID by joining a Wintergrasp raid.

We left the instance to repair but got camped at the door by Horde. When we finally zoned in the server went kaput. When the server came back up, Comcast acted up, and a prot pally got MC'd every time he DC'd. He had 150k HP and hit like a truck full of bricks and kept silencing and stunning healers. We booted him from the raid, he gquit in anger, and joined the ex-guildie in spamming Ulduar general and vent bombing us.

It took us two hours to vent ban him because the admin didn't know how to do an IP ban, nor did anyone else, so we had to call a friend of his to tell him how to do it, but the friend was out drinking with friends. After a cold shower, he told us how to do it, but by then, the raid was over.

The next day, we didn't have a full raid on, and a lot of people didn't show because the DKP site was down because it had been maintained by the disgruntled paladin. Apparently, it turned out, the paladin was emo because he had been fired from his job, and hadn't paid his internet bill, which was why he dc'd. We needed him, so we chose to pitch in.

We sold a bunch of items from the guild bank to raise gold to sell for cash, but this got four officers banned. Nonetheless we were able to help the paladin. While waiting for their bans to expire, however, the next reset, the other MT, a warrior who had gotten into a bunch of "are paladins better than warriors now" arguments with the paladin, had gotten 3/4 of the raid saved to a partial clear, and the other half of the guild, who disliked him, got saved to a Flame Leviathan pug.

We gkicked the warr, and got a new prot warr from a rival guild, who then posted naked pics of our GM and his significant other, who turned out to also be a man. This man, it turned out, was the paladin tank.

After a THREE HOUR LONG argument in vent about sexuality and raiding, we started clearing trash to Vezax. We had always had the warr tank Vezax, however, as our DK tank is a keyboard turner and we don't have a druid. Therefore, it took us a few hours to train the paladin. By then the night was over.

We will be working on Yogg tonight.

The REAL Reason Wintergrasp Favors Horde
The Horde often win Wintergrasp, it seems, even on defense. This is not due to their racials or superior players - it is because of the conditions in the game. All is fair in love and war, they say, and to the victor go the spoils.

These spoils are not limited to the welfare epics of VoA, however. In all wars - and I would expect the Battle for Wintergrasp to be no different - the prizes are not merely pillage but also ravishment. In this the victors exult in their virility and defame their opponents by violating that which they cherish most. Certainly the orcs partook in this when they triumphed in the past - witness halfbloods such as Lantressor and Garona.

The Alliance counts amongst its number the booty of the squidgoat, the leggy kaldorei, and the ruggedly attractive human women - ample motivation for any conquest. However, the Horde offers scant motivation to any would-be conquerors; indeed, to partake of any of their female prizes would seem a chore of its own at least equal to the conquest of Wintergrasp. The blood elf females, neither as hardy or numerous as the myriad attractions of the Alliance, do not seem sturdy enough for the purpose - their fragile, meatless figure would succumb to the grips of their conquerors all too easily.

I propose either buffing the Alliance rewards, by giving the Horde more attractive races, or reducing Horde rewards, by nerfing the squidgoat waggle or the night elf slashdance. With better balanced opportunities for physical expression of victory through use of the foe's opposite gender, PvP will also balance out.

Looking for support.

squidgoat Shaman Must Be Stopped 09/30/2008 11:56:45 AM EDT
Shamans are the guardians of the elements, and have a unique dialogue with them.

Therefore the class must unite against the hypocritical squidgoat shaman, who have been undermining this planet's terra firma ever since they arrived in Azeroth.

All I ever hear from the shamans is that they "need their hooves polished", and that "this planet has such a tremendous supply of sandstone". We see their cousins the Eredar have an obsession with their chests; it seems the squidgoat are more fixated on their hooves. A vain race, clearly.

Apparently, sandstone is a valuable commodity in their culture, and I am now concerned they will begin gouging out the crags of the Barrens and Badlands and my own native Dun Morogh to obtain the mineral resources they intend to frivously expend sanding their hooves.

Witness the Outlands today - broken, desolate wastes, a planet ripped asunder - could not the squidgoat lust for sandstone have something to do with this?

Do we wait for every quarry and supply of precious sandstone to be expended? For Azeroth to be rendered a great strip-mine to satiate their vanity?

Are those advisors they insidiously sent to our capitals discussing matters of war and peace...or selling out our sandstone deposits for unspeakable "favors"?

Is it in the interests of peace the squidgoat cause a sandstone gap with the Horde? I think not!

The shamans must mobilize against this abomination and protect our natural monuments.

Does the Black Dragonflight Commit Incest? 06/05/2008 12:57:12 AM EDT
The Black Dragonflight, at least as it existed pre-TBC, is led by two black dragons, Nefarian and Onyxia, brother and sister.

Onyxia is referred to as the "brood mother" of the flight, and indeed she can be seen queening in her lair, surrounded by mounds of eggs. The Black Dragonflight seems to be, like most aggressively militaristic societies, centralized, hierarchical, and collectivist/authoritarian. Thus, it seems safe to assume Onyxia is the sole producer of young for the Flight (besides, of course, the chromatic dragons, drakonid and dragon-hounds prepared by her brother in his lab).

Clearly dragons are genderized - they have male and female members of the species who must unite to produce young. Pairs are in abundance - Nozdormu and Soidormi, Neltharaku and Karynaku, Tyrigosa and her mate (whose name I do not recall - so on.

Onyxia and Nefarian are the only known fully mature black dragons besides Emberstrife, who is old and decrepit, and the smaller, less fully mature sub-commanders in BRS and BWL.

My question is this: From whom does Onyxia receive the male gametes required for fertilization? Several possibilies:

-The black dragons practice age-gap relationships and she obtains the gametes from older or younger members of the brood. This leaves the question of whether their origin is sufficiently distant to prevent incest and birth defects due to expression of undesirable recessive traits.

-Female dragons, like insects, have the ability to store the gametes of the opposite gender within themselves for a very very long time and expend them to fertilize their own gradually, requiring a new supply only extremely infrequently if ever over the course of their lives.

-Black dragons, like some very primitive lifeforms such as plants and certain mollusks, sponges, and bacteria, are capable of both sexual and non-sexual reproduction. Offspring produced sans intercourse are clones of the parent. This explanation, too, poses logical problems.

-Black dragons simply practice incest, and male and female elders - even brother and sister - lay together to fertilize their eggs and produce as many young as possible to drive out their enemies. This theory is supported by the fact it is already established they skin and abuse their own.

I'm looking for insight as to this conundrum.

Bear Wall: NEW Feral Druid Ability 10/06/2008 12:45:27 PM EDT
Bear Wall
100% of current Rage

All nearby bears become friendly to the druid, each absorbing 25% of damage taken for 20 seconds or the life of the bears, whichever is shorter. If there are no nearby bears up to three Spectral Bears appear from the Emerald Dream to fight for the druid. All bears follow normal aggro rules according to their damage absorbed. This ability also instantly generates 10 rage when used.

This ability is meant to be a druid-appropriate version of Shield Wall/Divine Protection - it is feral-like in that it increases rather than decreases the druid's threat generation, and provides some multitarget threat. It is also defensively less powerful as the protection fades with the death of the bears.

The ability would be neither trainable nor a talent but a reward from a quest linked with the acquisition of the Spectral Bear Mount.

Looking for support.

Character Chest Size Should Scale By Stamina 09/25/2008 01:47:37 AM EDT
In WotLK, we are told, stamina will be even more of a primary stat for tanks than it is now. In addition, spell damage for protection paladins will scale directly with stamina thanks to a talent. Stamina will therefore be far and away the primary stat for protection paladins, even more so than now, with the removal of crushing blows that had required the stacking of avoidance.

The problem is, with what is likely to be diverse itemization, with multiple paths to gear - raids, new heroics, PvP, and crafting - it will be difficult to distinguish who are and are not geared tanks. Health is only visible as an absolute number with the use of mods that are not ubiquitous, especially amongst inexperienced pugs, and are sometimes unreliable.

WotLK will see a consolidation of stats, and the introduction of many new cosmetic options for characters.

These initiatives should be merged to allow geared paladins to be easily distinguished by making chest size scale with stamina. Male paladins will appear as a sort of overdone McGwire, and female paladins shall appear as vigorous as their stamina value would very much suggest.

This will make it easier to form groups and identify tanks for healing priority, and increase the entertainment value of the game.

Looking for support.

Group Support For Rogues - Enslave Humanoid 10/01/2008 10:29:23 PM EDT
It is often complained rogues bring little to a group, and are often a nuisance due to their melee nature.
There are already other classes that provide DPS buffs arguably superior to Expose Armor, or mana supply, offhealing, or CC.
Rogues deserve a unique group support ability that provides benefit in line with the nature of their trade. Thus:

Enslave Humanoid
Passive, Trainable, Level 75

When you are in a full group and get a killing blow with a finishing move on a humanoid target that gives experience and/or honor, there is a 10% chance you will subdue and not kill your target, selling him into slavery. Your party will receive gold commensurate to the target's level and HP.

In addition, there will be a related achievement:

Hostis Humani Generis
Enslave 10,000 humanoids.

This buff promises to make rogues highly desired group members, especially skilled rogues capable of timing their finishing moves.
Looking for support!

.......................

I really, really wish I felt inspired to write as well as I used to.

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

Why is this a sticky?

RETIRED.
[armory loc="US,Bleeding Hollow"]Mayonaise[/armory]
[armory loc="US,Bleeding Hollow"]Jerkonaise[/armory]

I thought you did it. Prob Zaryi?

There's no accounting for taste.

Lets just get it over with and officially rename the site to "For Aestu by Aestu" already.

Akiina - Priest - Royal Militia
Leeloo Minai Lekarariba-Laminai-Tchai Ekbat De Sebat

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Honest suggestion:

Why don't you lurk less and share more? Maybe try your hand at creative writing?

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

Disagree.

We should rename it:

For Us, By Us - Featuring Aestu

Forum: The Aestu Story

If it was Zaryi who sticked this, I didn't ask her to do it. =X
It's just as well it not be, imo.

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

I think you guys are giving Aestu too much undue shit over this. All I see here is he's sharing some pieces he's written, for those interested. I got a good chuckle out of the Lay On Hands thing..

Brawlsack

Taking an extended hiatus from gaming

not me, i was asleep until 5 minutes ago

the sound of my name drew me here, however

and seriously, if you have an issue with aestu, don't click on the fu*king post

I don't think anyone was giving him shit, least I wasn't.

Also, shit keeps eating my posts unless one of the admins is just messing with me.

Though it's possible that a new post was made and I just didn't see it.

I'm sort of curious how you got away with those when a friend of mine got a weeklong in 2006 for posting in the warlock forums that soul shards should grow on trees.

If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
Shuruppak Yuratuhl
Slaad Shrpk Breizh

I didn't get a perma for my how to moderate post until like 2 months after. He probably wrote those after mods stopped giving a fuck.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk

Buff Engineering By Buffing Curves
The Munchkin Index
How Do You Use A Healthstone?
Karazhan Guest Quarters Racism
Fix Skinning: Make Succubi Skinnable
Lore Question: squidgoat Females And Age
PETITION: Revert 3.2.2 Nerf - Fires In Raids
Is General Vezax Hard?
Lord Jaraxxus Inappropriate, Must Be Removed
PETITION: Remove Hand of Reckoning
Raid Encounter: Aestu/Fyrei
No, Rygarius, you are in the wrong here...
Game Rewards Unfairly Balanced Towards PvE
Give Us "The Gold Brick"

Buff Engineering By Buffing Curves
Female dwarves say of their endowments, "No, they're not real. But thanks for asking!"

We know the gnomes are technologically advanced and live in Ironforge. They have already developed the technology to clone people and control minds. They also have incubator technology, suggesting they've done some work with biology. Therefore, it is logical to suggest gnomes were responsible for this "augmentation". Whether they actually cut skin and implanted prostheses, or simply developed developed a new type of undergarment, it remains likely they have found a way to overcome the natural limitations of a female body.

Likewise, Night Elf females proclaim, "Sure, I have exotic piercings." Presumably they have professionals do this, or the NE females do it themselves with a sharpened deer bone and some moonwell water.

Blizzard has already announced there will be new cosmetic options for new and existing characters. Since there already appears to be a lore basis for protheses for dwarf women, why not allow other female characters to enjoy the same benefits?

As it is, engineers have difficulty earning gold. It is implied this is a gnomish invention, since the naturally humbly endowed BE females have been unable to augment themselves, while troll women still suffer from halitosis and orc women have not yet become enamored with electric hair removal. Therefore I propose that Gnomish engineers, who are currently gimped as their items compare unfavorably to the mining helmet, the construction helmet, and rocket launcher, be able to craft these augments.

Suitable protheses have a surreal bounciness, mimicking the natural organ, and it must be assumed some very exotic materials must be used to obtain this texture. Therefore, and in order to ensure decent profit for engineers, the prothesis should require a primal nether to make (or rather, the WotLK successor, as Blizzard has said there will be a nether-type item in the xpac).



The Munchkin Index
Would you believe, I just heard about this ten minutes ago? I Googled to see if there was a WoW munchkin index (was curious where I stand), but didn't find anything. So! I'll write one:

Your class and race are...
Real Man: Human warrior.
RPer: Tauren druid.
Loonie: Female dwarf rogue.
Munchkin: UD rogue.

Your professions are...
Real Man: BS/Mining
RPer: Alchemy/herbalism or tailoring/enchanting
Loonie: Tailoring/leatherworking
Munchkin: Mining/herbalism

Your spec is...
Real Man: Prot or holy
RPer: Balance
Loonie: Demo, Sub, Ret, or hybrid
Munchkin: Whatever the cookie-cutter PvP spec is

You have how much gold?
Real Man: 40c
RPer: 400g
Loonie: /roll (1-20000). Daily.
Munchkin: Depends how long since your last order

What's in your bank?
Real Man: Resist gear. Old weapons and tier sets.
RPer: Tabards, interesting-looking robes, and world event rewards.
Loonie: Grey AV drops.
Munchkin: Spellshock Leggings with Runic Spellthread. In quantity.

What's your rep with TMH?
Real Man: Neutral.
RPer: Friendly.
Loonie: Either Exalted...or Hated.
Munchkin: Unfriendly.

What's your ride?
Real Man: War Steed
RPer: The mount of another allied faction.
Loonie: Riding Turtle
Munchkin: Spectral Tiger

Favorite companion?
Real Man: Green Parrot.
RPer: Siamese.
Loonie: Disgusting Oozeling
Munchkin: Netherwhelp

Gear?
Real Man: Tier/glad sets.
RPer: Whichever white items best suit your current event.
Loonie: Mail with spell damage...as a hunter. Cloth with healing...as a squidgoat mage. Purple judgment...as a fury warrior.
Munchkin: 4/5 S3 glad gear with S1 shoulders and S2 weapons.

What did you just get back from doing?
Real Man: Killed some raid boss.
RPer: RP event with the opposite faction.
Loonie: Soloed Tranquilien.
Munchkin: 10 games.

You socket...
Real Man: Stam
RPer: Your gear doesn't have sockets.
Loonie: Spirit
Munchkin: Crit

Your guild is...
Real Man: <Built Horde Tough>
RPer: <Brotherhood>
Loonie: <OJ Did It>
Munchkin: <PVP U>

Your alts:
Real Man: A level 60, a bank, and some lowbies you lost interest in.
RPer: All you have are alts.
Loonie: You've maxed out your char list on a dozen servers.
Munchkin: A 70 with a bad name of a class you don't know how to play, and a twink.

You wipe the group in an instance by...
Real Man: Chain pulling.
RPer: Trying to type furiously and get CC off at the same time.
Loonie: Polarity Shift...after the boss is dead.
Munchkin: Breaking Polymorph

You handle loot by...
Real Man: /roll
RPer: By the time you finish your RP response to the loot, the corpse has despawned.
Loonie: Pass if others need it. Indifferently accept it if you can use it and no one else can. Roll on it if you can wear it, but know you shouldn't.
Munchkin: Whatever you can get away with.

Your favorite place in WoW is...
Real Man: Naxx
RPer: Brill
Loonie: BRD
Munchkin: IF bridge

Consumables?
Real Man: Ironskin pots and crawdads.
RPer: Delicious Chocolate Cake.
Loonie: Noggenfogger.
Munchkin: Bombs.

Favorite skill?
Real Man: Last Stand
RPer: Ritual of Summoning
Loonie: Cannibalism
Munchkin: Ambush/CloS

You hate...
Real Man: Whiny loot whores.
RPer: Non-RPers who make alts on your server when theirs is down.
Loonie: Armory trolls.
Munchkin: The noob who tells you to stop breaking polymorph because he's jealous of your DPS.

You think WoW is broken because...
Real Man: TBC made vanilla raids obsolete.
RPer: Lax enforcement of RP rules.
Loonie: Ret and balance are still nonviable.
Munchkin: Arena and BGs are unbalanced.

Favorite memory from WoW...
Real Man: Rag down.
RPer: /emoting with 20 people from both factions gathered at the gong
Loonie: Corrupted Blood; after all, you started it.
Munchkin: Ninjaing the Core Hound Tooth.

How Do You Use A Healthstone?
So...we warlocks make these healthstone things...little green orbs that recover our health. I'm guessing they're about the size of a tennis ball. How do we use them?

Do you eat it?
Do you rub it on your wounds?
Do you smash it on the ground?
Do you squeeze it really hard?
Do you lick it like a lollipop?
Do you sniff the fumes it emits?

Could Blizzard or someone please clarify this?

Karazhan Guest Quarters Racism
Proceeding through the Guest Quarters in Karazhan, you encounter numerous "women of the night", all either blood elves or humans. My question is, why are there no night elf women? Most players, and consequently I would assume most of Medivh's guests, find night elves quite attractive. So why doesn't he stock any? Theories and debunking:

Because night elves are anachronistic and did not respond to the "Wanted" advert Medivh circulated in sleazy Azerothian tabloids because they hadn't reopened contact with the Eastern Kingdoms yet. The Guest Quarters also includes blood elves - not high elves - which did not appear until after contact was opened with the night elves, implying Medivh sought these women in a fairly late time period.

Because night elves oppose such behavior as immoral/lawless. Night elves flaunt law and custom in becoming rogues and committing murderous/illegal acts, or joining such groups as Twilight's Hammer. If they have prohibitions against lewd conduct, they would likely have even less compunction about flaunting them as many night elves flaunt prohibitions on demonic/arcane magic by becoming demon hunters or sorcerers, as with Tyranis and night elves who join Twilight's Hammer. Finally, the quest Diabolical Plans firmly establishes that night elves are not protective of their chastity.

Because bigamy is against the cultural conventions of Azeroth. There are cases of human/high-elf, human/orc, orc/ogre, and possibly even orc/squidgoat. None are regarded as morally abhorrent, with the exception of human/orc hybrids, whose difficulties being accepted are political in basis, not moral.

Because Medivh and his guests do not find night elves sexually attractive. Say that with a straight face.

On many RP servers, the self-esteem of players role-playing night elf females is hurt when they perceive evidence that they are less desired than other races. Conversely, human and blood elf players are forced to face undeniable evidence that they are less moral than night elves, who apparently have scruples against such behavior.

Blizzard, please fix this grievous omission, or provide an explanation.

Fix Skinning: Make Succubi Skinnable
Skinning's main weakness as a gathering profession is the dearth of skinnable mobs. Consider that already many types of demons, such as felhounds, felbeasts, and dreadsteeds, are skinnable. Succubi are far more ubiquitous than any of these, and making them skinnable would greatly increase the profitability of skinning.

Although succubi appear humanoid, they are more like the beasts and demons that are skinnable; after all, in many locations in-game we see them in the mutual company of felhounds, which are skinnable, and other demons. Also consider that amongst humanoids Yeti are skinnable, and in fact some humanoids can even be eaten by non-Forsaken, such as murlocs and makura.

One must question the usefulness of succubus epidermis as a crafting reagent. Consider that they have hooves, and worn hooves sell decently to vendors in-game, implying that there is some use for them, possibly in glue manufacture. Likewise various grey items that sell well to vendorscan be obtained from mining and skinning; perhaps similar loot should be added for skinning succubi.

Also consider that trolls frequently use the skin of humanoids to craft artifacts. Despite the fact that succubi are demons and not humanoids, the skin used by the trolls bears a physical resemblance to their own hides. Clearly if the trolls can use the skin of humanoids to make the fine gear we loot from ZA, player crafters ought to be able to use the skin of demi-humanoid demons kin to skinnable creatures in a similar fashion.

Clearly dreadlords, infernals, and other common demons are not suitable for skinning because of their texture and odd "cutout shape". Likewise the skin of most humanoids (besides murlocs, which drop scales used in crafting, and yeti, which again are skinnable) is too tender to for use in skinning. Yet succubi, by virtue of their demonic, inhuman qualities, have a hide that is both flexible and durable, allowing them armor comparable to leather-wearers, which are the very qualities that make any creature's hide desirable as a crafting material.

My central point is this: We can skin many types of demons and even some humanoids. Why not add a ubiquitous demon to the list of skinnable creatures, alleviating the dearth of skinnable mobs?

Lore Question: squidgoat Females And Age
It is established squidgoat have lifespans much longer than any other playable race except the Night Elves (and they are aided by druid magic). Common squidgoat NPCs have firsthand recollection of Argus, a world they left many thousands of years ago.

It is also established that squidgoat females retain their physical attractiveness and libido throughout their entire lives. A squidgoat female may be tens of thousands of years old, but she will still be quite hot.

The squidgoat are known to marry, but they probably do not practice arranged or life marriage. Hence, it is likely they grow fairly experienced through their lives.

It is known that the conjugal anatomy of females becomes increasingly pliant and spacious with experience - and it scales much more sharply with this than with age alone.

Since the squidgoat female love life is many hundreds of times that of other races, are they impacted by the genital consequences of their increased indulgence? Does the enormous number of partners they no doubt have over thousands of years cause them to become really, really, loose? Or do they have a way of dealing with this?

Looking for insight.


PETITION: Revert 3.2.2 Nerf - Fires In Raids
Once more, World of Warcraft has been nerfed for the petulant, grasping casusls who want EVERYTHING NOW. And once more, Blizzard has deliberately deceived and given the customary SLAP IN THE FACE to raiders everywhere by refusing to put this stealth change in the patch notes.

One of the most vital raid mechanics - Basic Campfire - has been reduced in cast time from ten to two seconds - an 80% reduction. This trivializes the time, effort and opportunity cost to obtain the spirit buff from this ability. Just as some scrubs can't properly click on warlock portals, now these same scrubs need to stand still for only two and not ten seconds to make the fire.

Note that the strategy used on Eredar Twins by KUNGEN...GM of ENSIDIA, the BEST GUILD IN THE WORLD...relied on this spell. A cast time of two and not ten seconds, had it been implemented at the time, would have made this encounter trivial, not the challenging and dynamic encounter it was. Instead of having to stand still to build a fire with a ten second cast, something that required the best players in the world to carefully manage their positioning to do, now any idiot needs to stop for only two seconds to do so, to gain the vital raid buff.

This is CLEARLY the product of the "I WANT MY BUFF NAWWW" crowd.

Is General Vezax Hard?
Periodically, General Vezax proclaims, "The black blood of Yogg-Saron flows through me! I. AM. UNSTOPPABLE!" At this point, he hits much harder and slows down.
Now, I'm curious what the nature of this event is. General Vezax is male, and he has been locked up in the Maw of Madness for thousands of years. Being broken out by a motley crew of tall, graceful, pulchritudinous female squidgoat and night elves; well, I expect that would evoke a certain reaction. The periodic nature of his turgidity, the aggression and stiffness it induces, suggests this may be the case.
I always do the encounter as melee, so I get a good view only of his massive buttocks.
Can someone tell me if Vezax is, in fact, hard?

Lord Jaraxxus Inappropriate, Must Be Removed
Today the controversial Coliseum will feature its newest contender: Lord Jaraxxus. While many eagerly await this development, it is in fact a depraved encounter that should be removed from live immediately.

Lord Jaraxxus is a powerful agent of the Burning Legion. Yet he is held tamely by the Argent Crusade, to appear in the Coliseum at their beck and call. How? It is quite impossible to believe such a powerful eredar could be held against his will, nor would he deign to compete fairly; therefore, we must assume evil is afoot.

Eredar are known to be relatives of the squidgoat. Lord Jaraxxus, as it happens, is a large, dark, male squidgoat, who obviously thinks very highly of his virility - look no further than his well-toned abs. So fine is his sixpack he feels no need to even wear a shirt, proudly displaying his developed musculature.

The abs that he commands are no doubt the means by which he remains on the premises. Upon who does he work his dark charms? Is there a squidgoat amongst the Argent Crusade so depraved to be seduced by such a beast?

Indeed there is - Luuri, "Mistress of Horses".

It is not so unnatural as it seems. Alone, far from Draenor, in a cold wasteland, there are few males with hooves indeed, besides of course the hostile Tauren. Perhaps turning to horses was one of a scant few options. Coming across a handsome, musclebound Eredar hunk, could she possibly say no?

This sort of depravity cannot be allowed in a game played by a diverse and often impressionable audience. Please remove Lord Jaraxxus...

...or at least introduce an entertaining storyline about these events.

PETITION: Remove Hand of Reckoning
Hand of Reckoning was introduced in 3.08 as paladins' new single target taunt. Although it fills a necessary role, it is badly implemented and should be removed from the game.

As the icon indicates, the Hand of Reckoning consists of a gesture made with the thumb, ring and pinky fingers crossed against the palm, and the index and middle fingers extended against each other - clearly a profane gesture.

Yes, it is necessary to get mobs to attack us...but truly, however despicable the Scourge, or the Legion, or the Old Gods, or the goblins of Booty Bay may be, is it morally acceptable to go about making obscene gestures?

Blizzard has grossly mismanaged the paladin class for a long time and this isn't the first time they've screwed up our mechanics. Everyone remembers throughout all of vanilla, human male paladins who mostly AFKd in raids would get their jollies by performing Lay on Hands on the usually female night elf main tanks. Or how paladin levelling was inextricably linked with the viewing of pornography.

Now again, in WotLK, paladins are actually ENCOURAGED to develop martyr complexes to improve raid DPS - do we really want our class to continue to be a bunch of emo-cutting, rudely gesticulating gropers?

Proposed solution is to simply make /taunt, complete with animation, our new single target taunt.
Looking for support.

Raid Encounter: Aestu/Fyrei
Aestu (Horde) / Fyrei (Alliance)
HP: 80M (25-man)

Abilities:
Seal of Vengeance: Self-buff, always active. Applies a stacking DoT to the boss's primary target on each successful melee attack. Stacks without limit. Tanks should switch at three stacks; six stacks is unhealable.
Hammer of the Righteous: Does quadruple weapon damage to primary aggro target, bouncing to up to two additional targets within five yards of the last strike. It can ricochet back on itself if there are insufficient targets. Six second cooldown; boss uses this ability on cooldown.
Greater Holy Shield: Self-buff, always active. Deals 30000 physical damage to all frontal melee attackers. Mitigated by armor. Will oneshot melee DPS or very nearly; only tanks should ever get hit by it.
Judgment: Deals 15000 Holy damage to primary aggro target, increased by 100% for each stack of Vengeance on target. Eight second cooldown; boss will use this ability on cooldown.
Consecrate: Point-blank aoe with continuous uptime; deals 3500 damage per second to all players in melee range. Must be healed through.
Holy Grenade: Deals 25000 damage to all enemies within 15 yards of point of impact; also applies a Consecrate effect that continues to deal 15000 damage per tick to players in the affected area. Will not be targetted at players in melee range unless there are fewer than three players at range. Ten second cooldown, but boss does not use the ability on cooldown.
Avenger's Shield: Deals 18000 damage and silences and dazes the target for ten seconds. Will bounce to an additional target within ten yards up to four times, doubling its damage with each bounce. A third bounce will oneshot whatever it hits. Twelve second cooldown; the boss does not use this ability on cooldown, and will not cast it on melee unless fewer than three players are at range.
Exorcism: Deals 15000 damage to a random target at range; also wipes all threat. The boss will turn to the target while casting, and will prefer an obtuse turn if possible. At the end of its effect, the boss will immediately fixate on whomever in melee range she is facing. Three second cast; one minute cooldown. Can be interrupted, but doing so will cause the fixate effect to apply immediately, likely causing a wipe. Boss does not use this ability on cooldown. Shares a two second cooldown with all other boss abilities.
Avenging Wrath: Damage increased by 20% for its duration. One minute cooldown. Boss does not use this ability on cooldown, and has a five second shared cooldown with all other boss abilities.
Hand of Salvation: Temporary, undispellable self-buff on boss. Reduces all damage taken by 20% for ten seconds, and diminishes current target's threat by 5% each second for its duration. Twenty second cooldown.
Greater Gift of the Naaru: Heals for 400k per second for 20 seconds. Magic effect; can be spellstolen and dispelled. Ten second cooldown. Boss does not use this ability on cooldown. Aestu only.
Greater Arcane Torrent: Eight second silence. Unlimited range. Three second cast; ten second cooldown. Boss does not use this ability on cooldown. Can and must be interrupted. Fyrei only.
Berserk: Increases all damage done by 1000%. Increases attack speed by 100%. All abilities have no cooldown. Standard hard enrage; guaranteed wipe.

Alliance players fight the blood elf, Fyrei.
Horde players fight the squidgoat, Aestu.

Aestu/Fyrei requires three tanks. Tanks must taunt off each other so that no one tank gets more than three stacks of the Vengeance debuff; a fourth stack will cause the boss's next Judgement to oneshot the tank. Tanks must always be within five yards of each other and in front of the boss to bounce the Hammer of the Righteous; if a tank is out of position, one of the other two tanks will get double hammered and die. Tanks must reposition to take the Fixate effect after her periodic Exorcism cast. Hand of Salvation means that tank rotations cannot be fixed; if the current tank loses threat to a boss Salvation while the tank who is second on threat still has three Vengeance stacks, the third tank must taunt immediately.

The raid should include a decent balance of ranged and melee. Stacking too many ranged will cause Avenger's Shield to chain, oneshotting ranged; stacking melee will cause her Holy Grenades to strike melee, and too many melee in the Consecrate will overwhelm healers. Melee may wish to move out of Consecrate during Avenging Wrath, or use Holy Protection Potions. Ranged must spread out to prevent Avenger's Shield chaining. It is imperative melee never stand in front of the boss, as her Holy Shield will oneshot any melee who strike it.

Healers must be balanced between raid healers, healing through Avenger's Shield and Holy Grenade, and tank healers, healing through Aestu/Fyrei's massively damaging Hammer of Righteous and Judgement.

Although simple in concept and relatively static, the encounter is demanding in execution due to the precise positioning and high amount of DPS/healing required. Because the boss does not use many of her abilities on cooldown, players must be vigilant and ready to react accordingly. Tanks DPS must move quickly in response to her Exorcism and Holy Grenade, running through the boss during Exorcism and away from the Holy Grenade, while not chaining her other attacks. In addition, her Gift of the Naaru must be dispelled and her Arcane Torrent interrupted, as applicable.

No, Rygarius, you are in the wrong here... 03/02/2010 12:08:19 PM EST
What you, in your bureaucratic obstinance, cannot grasp is, these rules are in place to benefit the playerbase, and not Blizzard. Of course the corollary is, what is good for the playerbase, is good for Blizzard. The problem is, overzealous enforcement doesn't make players happy. Many people play this game for the community, and that isn't as simple as everyone getting along. A lot of committed players would earnestly say they play the game for the drama; this is, after all, an MMO, and it is the interplay of personalities that makes the game worth playing. If people didn't get heated or take things personally the game would be droll indeed. I know quite a few people who have fully canceled account because of how boring realm forums are. I know others who maintain accounts for no reason but to post.

How long do you think anyone would watch sports, or be interested in celebrities, if their lives and careers were droll and passionless? If they went to their functions and played their games and didn't have the sorts of rivalries and shades of moral grey that define anything that anyone takes seriously?

CMs have chosen to take this stance of nuking any thread, that offends anyone, anywhere, enough that they feel the need to report it. Now, common sense says, if you take this approach to communication, no one can say anything of substance, because ANYTHING worth saying is going to offend SOMEONE. It should be obvious to Blizzard from the company's experience that if you haven't made at least a few enemies, you've gotten nothing done.

This policy of nuking threads is bad for social stability, too. Players often bring their grievances to the forums, and the community gives the "thumbs up/thumbs down" on the issue. By ending any sort of heated discourse, what the CMs are actually doing is, preventing issues from being talked out. It essentially presupposes the whole playerbase is a bunch of six-year-olds who have to be made to sit in opposite corners of the room whenever they disagree on an issue, rather than doing what mature people do, which is talking it out, sometimes getting heated, then moving on. And sometimes this does mean, shoot them all down and let God sort it out - let what people want to say, be said; and if someone gets offended, so be it. Instead things don't get talked out and problems fester. I'm sure a lot of forum denizens can think of social dynamics from their own experience that would have played out better in the long run with more community.

Your quotation of the forum rules is also disingenuous because it is not the enforcement of these rules that drives most of the controversy. It is the arbitrary enforcement; how CMs have regularly gotten into the habit of simply nuking threads that have been reported, or even banning posters, irrespective of whether any actual violation has actually occurred. There are no appeals. It is this arbitrary, indiscriminate action, which to most players, appears to be driven merely by CM desire to reduce their workload by simply hitting the delete/ban buttons rather than reading the content and understanding what is actually said. Whether this is due to laziness, a culture shift, company directive, or excessive workload, no one outside Blizzard can really know. But ultimately, the problem is on the professional end.

Now, again to you, Rygarius, this post I have made is a case study. You could, if you wished, choose to interpret it as trolling. This would be a spurious interpretation, and here's why: because what I have said, although it may be harshly worded, and offensive - to you, ultimately the only victim of this post is your own ego, because what I have said, I say not with intent to provoke (except insofar as that garners your attention, which is part of communication skill), I say it with the intent to convey information, to state my opinion, because I believe that you can benefit from what I have to say. As I said, what is good for the playerbase is good for Blizzard, and so it is in your own interest, professionally speaking, to internalize what I have said, to choose to take a rational and not emotional response.

So, Rgyarius, what say you?

Game Rewards Unfairly Balanced Towards PvE 02/26/2009 10:42:02 AM EST
In Dalaran, we can redeem Emblems of Heroism and Emblems of Valor for epic rewards. The tokens used to do this are tracked on the currency tab, are epic, and the rewards are epic and numerous.

Also in Dalaran, we can redeem Dalaran Cooking Awards for green rewards. The tokens used to do this are tracked on the currency tab, are green, and the rewards are green and numerous.

What seems unfair to me is how people who pursue cooking progression are less rewarded than those who pursue heroic/raiding progression. We get green rewards; they get epic rewards. Yet far LESS people have done the cooking achievements, labored and exercised the skill PvErs do not possess, to get their GREEN badges.

Some would say "we're not interested". This is a load of nonsense; these "uninterested" people just don't have the skill/commitment to pursue the GREEN rewards FEWER people have, so they do the easier content that MORE people have that rewards EPICS.

This is atrocious. Why are we penalized with inferior green rewards, when they get welfare epics?

Give Us "The Gold Brick" 04/19/2010 11:57:45 AM
What if the Blizzard Store sold...

The Gold Brick
Binds To Account
Junk, Legendary
Cannot be sold to a vendor

"It just...sits there"

Grants the Feat of Strength,
"The Gold Brick!"
Proud owner of the Gold Brick.

Available only through Blizzard Store. Costs $100.

I would so buy this. I mean, think about it...wouldn't it be so useful?

"I'm so good at life, I can blow a hundred bucks on a virtual item that does literally nothing and doesn't even have a graphic."
"I'm so insanely hardcore, I spent a hundred bucks on...the gold brick!"

The best feature would be the high, high price. After all, BMWs are terrible cars, but people buy them because they're expensive; they wouldn't be status symbols if they weren't.

This isn't a troll post, I honestly think this would be a great addition to the Blizzard store, and would help put the Celestial Steed discussion in perspective.

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.