Aestu wrote:
Fantastique wrote:
How does anyone here know for sure what the guy did wasn't the best decision? Parenting is not one way or the highway. My parents gave me everything I ever asked for. Literally, everything. They drove me wherever I wanted to go. I got a brand new car at 16. They didn't ask or force me to get a job. I didn't have set chores to do. My mom would still rather me stay at home than move into an apartment, even on my own dime, or even pay for my car, phone, health insurance, etc. They never forced me to major in something that they thought would be "best for me". And it's not only me, my sisters were raised the same way. Many people would think that such parenting is terrible and that when I am on my own I won't know how to take care of myself. Well, I would disagree.
We all turned out great. I managed to churn out perfect grades, hold a number of jobs, do volunteering work, have yet to try any form of illegal drug, and above all I respect and admire my parents and appreciate everything they have done for me. There is no way I can repay the debt I owe them, but I will do my best to repay as much as I can. I also plan on raising my kids in a similar fashion.
Now I get to hear about how I am an exception. Well, how about my sisters? Friends? Anyone else I know that have parents who give the world to their children? Who are any of you to say that our parents were terrible and that yours were better for raising you a different way? Who's to say that this father's actions weren't the perfect dose of tough love that will change this girl's future for the better?
I'll answer - you all are nobody.
EDIT: I'll admit that my opinions on how everyone should respect their parents stem from cultural roots. We were raised differently. For example, no matter how old we get, if parents ask you to do something, you have to do it. Second, there's none of that kicking out when we turn 18 bullshit. Similarly, there's no putting parents into old people homes when we think they're too old to live with us. Not that we feel like we have to keep them, but because we wouldn't DREAM of such nonsense, just as they wouldn't have ever DREAMED of putting us out at 18. Like I said, it's a cultural difference.
I would argue that like many Indian and Chinese kids, you were treated like a prince with the expectation you would be equal to the task of inheriting the kingdom.
Your parents probably had a lot of confidence in you and unequivocal supportiveness. Mine certainly didn't, and don't underestimate the importance of that.
Pretty much what Aestu said. I disagree with the notion of blaming parents for every little thing, but I don't think that's at play in this example. Once you are self aware enough and have enough worldly experience to recognize your own failings as a person, you shouldn't blame your parents.
Your choices are:
1) Acknowledge your parents are human, and therefore prone to mistakes. Take it upon yourself to do whatever you can for yourself to be successful
2) Give up, fuck off, DIAF.
That's exactly what it boils down to. If you had a shitty upbringing, you can't live the rest of your life looking back. You need to understand that blaming your parents, whether the blame is misdirected or justified, will not be productive and will not improve your circumstances.
The reason this is an issue in this scenario is because the kid is fucking 15 years old. Judging by her massive attitude, she's probably left their podunk town a handful of times, if that. She has no idea there are kids out there that would give their right arm to use a laptop with their left one. Her world is a 50 mile radius. She strikes me as extremely sheltered and a 'daddy's little princess' type. There is still time for her parents to amend the situation, and flipping out on youtube will not accomplish that. I don't care who you are or what values you have. This is a concrete fact that is not a point of debate. Shooting a laptop and making a spectacle will not make things any better.
If it
does, it's a temporary fix. It's a bandaid fix to an issue that requires surgery. The core issues will not be resolved, she'll just be silenced and that'll be the end of it. She won't understand the necessity of a good work ethic or respect her housekeeper. She just won't be vocal about it. That isn't good parenting, sorry if you feel otherwise.
You can 'teach your kid a lesson', or you can actually teach them a lesson, in the literal sense, not in the reckless and gung ho way that this man did.
He means well, and has good intentions, and this is how he was raised and what he believes. I'm not saying he doesn't love her and care about her, but he needs to rethink his methodology.
@Fanta, I agree with your cultural standpoint that families should embrace a more inclusive role, where children aren't kicked out the second they ding 18 and parents are able to retire with dignity, and not rotting away as a burden to some nursing home staff that doesn't know them at all.
BrawlsackTaking an extended hiatus from gaming
