Zaryi wrote:
steak tartar is wonderful, as is blood pudding, so i can only assume it'd be delicious
I've always wanted to find tartar but I can never find it in a restaurant. In Michael Symon's cookbook there's a recipe for Lamb Tartar that sounds absolutely great, but I figure I'd have to get enough lamb where I'd need someone who has the balls to eat it with me.
I also really wanna get my hands on some
kitfo. Aren't there a bunch of Ethopians in Oregon or something?
EDIT:
Quote:
We have some good high end steakhouses around here but I'm not sure if many of my friends would want to drop the money on one and I hate going out alone to a restaurant.
In all honesty, good steak is good, but I don't see myself ever buying it at a high-end restaurant. Then again, I'm more of a fish guy. Here's what I do with steak when I get the hankering.
1) Strip Steak (Grass-Fed is preferable. If you have a Trader Joe's near you, go there. Their beef is free range and organic and costs as much as the regular corn-fed stuff at your local chain supermarket. If you get buffalo, its amazing, but buffalo's a lot leaner than beef and idk if this recipe is good for it).
2) Sea Salt
3) Fresh-Cracked Pepper
4) Red Onion
5) Baked Potato
6) A strongly-flavored, malty beer (I'm fond of Great Lake's Christmas Ale and its the only one I've cooked with, but I imagine any sort of christmas ale or porter would do just fine, just pick something rich that you like).
7) *IF YOU HAVE A GRILL* - Asparagus, trimmed
Balsamic Vinaigrette (any store-bought stuff will do fine, there's no need to splurge).
- Preheat your oven for 450 degrees. Clean your potato and liberally apply sea salt to a plate. Roll the son of a bitch in the salt and slap it in the oven and allow it to cook for 40 minutes (DONT TAKE IT OUT). As soon as you start baking that faggot, take the same plate you rolled your potato on and slap your meat. Inspect the meat and caress the fuck out of it. Tenderly rub sea salt and crack those stupid peppers all over that shit. Apply to both sides and allow it to sit (if you salt your steak about a hour before cooking, it'll dehydrate the outside, allowing for a better char and also allows the seasoning to properly soak in.
WARNING: IF YOU PUT ANYTHING ELSE ON YOUR STEAK, YOU'RE ONE OF THEM QUEERS.- When your potato has been cooking for appx 20 minutes, take a break from jerking off to animal porn (because I know you like that, you sick fuck), take your time and preheat your grill. You want it nice and hot since I'm a faggot and like everything burnt. Take a non-stick saucepan and heat up some oil (butter works too, but it'll trigger your smoke alarms) on your oven on a high heat. Wait for the oil to get retardedly hot (if its olive oil and it starts smoking, you're set. Just don't use the extra extra virgin shit since that has a much lower smoke point and the good stuff is for bread, you pussy). As your oil heats, julienne (read: cut into thin strips) your red onion. Stop crying and be a man about it. Now is a good a time as any to take that fucking asparagus, hurl it into a ziploc bag, and let it think about its life decisions as you allow it to seep and wallow in the baslamic.
- When the oil is as hot as the raunchy cowboy sex I have with your mother on frequent occasions, slap your fucking onions into the pan and allow them to roast. It should take a solid 5 or 10 minutes, burn marks on your pan is good (we'll get to that later). As your onions cook, start heating up a large saucepan or skillet (a skillet if you weren't a bitch and didn't get a bitch cut of meat) and allow it to get hot. Throw some butter in that asshole and gently place your steak upon it, much like you would the love of your life down on the bed for a night of passionate love making. Feel free to take the actual love of your life, sock her in the face to show her how much of a man you are, crack open your beer, and drink about half of it (depending on how many onions you use. I only use about a quarter of an onion when I do this, do whatever the fuck you want). You've been working hard, you deserve it.
- As your onions begin to burn the fuck out of your pan, pour your beer in and start to vigorously stir and scrape the onions around, paying special attention to the sugar that was too much of a bitch to stick to the onion and is now disgracing your pan with its blackened essence (I can't emphasize this enough, scrub that shit like you're getting paid in blow, your forearm should be used to the stretch due to your animal porn addiction). Turn the heat down to about mid-high and allow the beer to reduce, coating its sweet alcoholic decadence all around those fucking onions. Feel free to crank another one off due to the smell that is now permeating through the shitpad you call home. After about 5 or so minutes, look at your steak (DON'T FLIP IT, JUST TAKE YOUR PORN-RIDDEN PEEPERS AND GAUGE THE SHIT). If its looking crispy with a nice dark brown or (better yet) black color, flip it and cook it for a little bit less at the same heat (about 2-4 more minutes).
- When you think your steak is done (you should have 5-10 minutes left on your potato screeching its last wishes in the hellfire you've cast it in),
IT FUCKING ISN'T. Take the pan and put it into your oven (preferably above the potato, that way the sizzling meat-juices and oil don't contaminate the Irish blight festering in your kitchen. By this time, your onions should have properly reduced. There should be a little bit of beer at the bottom. Congratulations, you've just made caramelized onions in the comfort of your own hovel. If you want, put a lid on them and turn the heat down to low. Now, look at your asparagus.
LOOK AT IT. Did it think it could get away? Did it think it could be spared the holocaust of your grill? FUCK NO. Throw your asparagus on the grill. That shit cooks quick, so you're going to want to turn them every 2 minutes or so until you get a nice char on them (I prefer mine to have the heads blackened, but if you can't handle that, stop being a pussy).
- When your potato's done, your steak's done. For a good rare, keep your steak in for 5 minutes, increasing the time your steak temp by about a minute or so (if you're retarded, mid-rare for 6, medium for 7, etc. The difference between steak temps is something like 5-10 degrees, so you have to know what the christ you're doing). Plate your potato first, then your steak, then your onions, then your asparagus (asparagus is a bitch and likes to lose its heat really quickly, because God has frowned upon your animalistic fetishes and curses the rest of us with your burden). You can put your onions on the steak if you want, but if you do, you're a bitch. Split open your potato, apply whatever the christ you like on it (except sour cream, since sour cream is gross), and that's it, you're done.
IMPORTANT NOTE: THE PAN YOU COOKED THE STEAK IN WILL BE HOT AS FUCK LONG AFTER YOU TAKE IT OUT OF THE OVEN. BE SURE TO RINSE THE HANDLE WITH COLD WATER AS SOON AS YOU TAKE IT OUT OF THE OVEN UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL WITH SECOND DEGREE BURNS (and a really nifty 4 refills for vicodin). LIKE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, I HAVE SINNED SO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO.That's it, a high-quality steak meal for something like 10-20 bucks for something that would cost you 40-60 at any decent establishment.
