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Perhaps it's because I've been reading Dune lately...but I feel I can see several paths for you. Many of them don't end well. The intent of my letter was to get you to realize this, and to consider the possibility that altering your actions could possibly help. Obviously it fell on deaf ears.
I think I understand your point. You feel that I praise your intelligence, yet refuse to challenge my own thoughts, merely parroting what the masses (other people on FUBU in this case) believe about you. You don't know me, if you did, you'd realize I am constantly challenging my own thoughts and opinions. I am constantly attempting to understand different sides to the story, and then arrive at my own conclusions.
My post in that thread was a joke, clearly intended as such, yet it (and other posts I have made) angered you so that you now think I am idiotic. That is your opinion - and I accept it, though I obviously disagree.
It's like the only time we were on vent - you raged because of my vent echo, and refused to believe that I was using a headset and it was a vent issue. Don't you see how this is an example of your own flaws? It saddens me because in many ways I wish I could have gotten to know you better - at least as well as Zaryi does.
I now understand why you are so utterly alone and why it is so difficult to truly know you or reach you in any way other than through a debate that becomes an exercise in flaming. You seem to know so many things, but when it comes to human interaction, you are utterly clueless. The fact that you view this as a strength baffles me. You're like my polar opposite in that regard.
For my part, perhaps I shouldn't have posted the letter publicly - that is my error, and I apologize.
Best of luck to you Aestu, truly. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.
-Az
If I did not know you then we would not be having this dialogue now.
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You feel that I praise your intelligence, yet refuse to challenge my own thoughts, merely parroting what the masses (other people on FUBU in this case) believe about you. You don't know me, if you did, you'd realize I am constantly challenging my own thoughts and opinions. I am constantly attempting to understand different sides to the story, and then arrive at my own conclusions.
Saying doesn't make it so. And you're also wrong, because you completely missed the point. Since the "point" has been explained to you many times, and apparently still lost on you, your underlying assumption that you are "challenging your own thoughts" is clearly mistaken.
So I'll repeat it again. It annoys me when dolts like you praise my intelligence because you write off what I can see that you cannot. You've done it many times in the past as well
The discussion about Isamoo comes to mind (and as so often, I was proven correct when I got 30 fragments and went and did what Isamoo claimed to have done, and proved he was lying). Or that discussion with Joklem where I challenged his understanding of a topic and am accused of "leaping to conclusions" about the outcome of the reactor incident only to be proven correct moments later.
But no matter how often I am right and others are wrong, dolts like you who praise my intelligence will second-guess everything I say. So eventually I come to see that shallow praise as nothing more than an extension of others' stupidity.
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My post in that thread was a joke, clearly intended as such
"Jokes" have a punchline, or irony, or satire, or other "hook" that makes them funny. Your lack of balls in admitting that you were not "joking", except in the HERPA DURR, IMSOFUNY sense, by mocking my point by writing it off, doesn't change the reality that your "joke" wasn't a joke at all. Mocking =/= joking.
And no, that's not my "opinion" or "perception" that's your own lack of balls and failure to self-analyze. Your lack of balls/comprehension in saying what you do or why doesn't change the reality of what you did and why you did it which is completely knowable by the definition of what a "joke" is.
I was not annoyed because you contradicted me. I was annoyed because I feel a lack of fulfillment driven by this sort of behavior.
Closely related is the reason why I am so fulfilled when people adopt my ways of doing things: writing style, incentive mechanics, logical devices, etc.
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, yet it (and other posts I have made) angered you so that you now think I am idiotic. That is your opinion - and I accept it, though I obviously disagree.
My anger and conviction of your idiocy is driven largely by the SERIAL manner in which I have to explain this.
I am angry that I see this recurring dynamic of people praising my intelligence then writing off what I do with that intelligence which is see clearly what others cannot.
I do not ask to be seen as infallible or my opinions sacrosanct but when others write them off on the basis of meme or platitude I feel I am being cheated both ways. Praise scores me no credibility; censure wins me no vindication.
I see this dynamic recurring from a mile away. I see it all the time. I see it as soon as someone praises my intelligence only to second guess me the next day. I've gotten this shit since I was a child. I appear arrogant because I am accustomed to being right and others being wrong and every time I give into the whimpering of idiots who second-guess me, I'm invariably proven correct after the fact. When I don't, I get made to be the arrogant bad guy, then I don't get mailed roses after I'm proven correct the next day.
So after many years I come to the point where I simply don't give a damn about "those people" being butthurt because they see me as arrogant - because I've learned to block out the chorus of nay-sayers.
The alternative is to shut up, keep my views to myself, and accept "White Elephant Status". I'd sooner kill myself. What's the point of life if one is to be ineffectual?
And no matter how many times I sit down and explain this to someone, they smile and nod but don't get it, then they do exactly the same thing. So what's the point? Why bother? Write the person off as yet another moron and move on.
I'm fucking tired of it.
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I now understand why you are so utterly alone and why it is so difficult to truly know you or reach you in any way other than through a debate that becomes an exercise in flaming.
Case in point.
You don't.
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You seem to know so many things, but when it comes to human interaction, you are utterly clueless. The fact that you view this as a strength baffles me. You're like my polar opposite in that regard.
Funny how you began this letter by saying that I don't "know" you. But you "know" me, right?
Human interaction: how do I "know" less than you? I've shown in many times and places that I have a wisdom about people that you do not. Merely because I find little satisfaction in associating with most people does not mean I am "clueless". It merely means that I do not enjoy what others do.
Going back again, you said, "...realize I am constantly challenging my own thoughts and opinions. I am constantly attempting to understand different sides to the story."
Are you so sure?
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For my part, perhaps I shouldn't have posted the letter publicly - that is my error, and I apologize. Best of luck to you Aestu, truly. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.
Wrong. Your error was to project your misjudgment onto me and resist the conclusion that you had fulfilled my prediction. Then you annoyed me by writing a series of walls of text and making another lame Aestu thread about how I need to be changed or fixed when you ought to have just left well enough alone.
I don't bear you individual malice more than anyone else with whom I've had this sort of dynamic. Such is life.
I despise these useless back-and-forths about my person. Discussion is over.