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 Post subject: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for videogame
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 12:28 am  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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Title: Sarsaparilla Deadzone
Genre: Adventure with RPG and shooter elements
Gameplay: Complete story-based objectives through infiltration, interaction, guile, negotiation and of course combat. Gameplay has elements of Metal Gear Solid, Fallout 3, and Grand Theft Auto. Default "god's eye" POV with fully adjustable/zoomable camera.
Setting: Present-day, mostly indoor, vivid and immersive

Plot: Ex-US special forces mercenary is blackmailed by narcissistic tycoon into getting him a cold glass of root beer. Storyline features over 200 characters and branches out into a web of corporate treachery and espionage. Extremely talky and farcical.

Cast of Characters:
Nick Killguy: Player character and protagonist of the game story. Highly trained and decorated US special forces veteran. Obligated to retire when an experimental chemical weapons inoculation mutated elements of his endocrine system and causing persistent and unmanageable pig-sweating and BO. This impacts gameplay as if he remains stealthed in an area too long, enemies will begin to say, "What's that smell...?" Following his discharge, Killguy went to work as a freelance "consultant" and "eliminator" prior to being abducted by Mr Porciapolous.

Mr Killguy is a true soldier, in the sense that he is a perfect physical specimen and tactical genius with almost no personality. He is a born follower, and although he is highly assertive and aggressive in a purely professional capacity, he has a very limited range of social behaviors and lacks a sense of direction or purpose. These qualities are his fatal flaw as they allow him to be controlled and used by willful characters.

Deuces Porciapolous: Primary antagonist and main driving force of the game's events. 450-pound Greek Cypriot tycoon who has lost his lower body to circulatory failure and now gets about on an integrated track, much like Mr Shrapnel from "Smash TV". Porciapolous is a financial, scientific, diplomatic and tactical genius, although he comes off as extremely dopey and pathetic due to his high-pitched and heavily accented voice, narcissistic and jealous behavior, and frequent bouts of hypochondria and hyperventilation. He is strong-willed and very cruel.

Porciapolous captures, deceives and controls Mr Killguy by abducting his girlfriend, appealing to his sense of duty and order, "Yeeou wark fawh MEEEEEEEEEEEE NOWWWWWAAAAA!!! *pant pant pant wheeeeeeeze*". and promising to use his immense wealth and scientific genius to correct the protagonist's pig-sweating and BO.

Porciapolous's goal for the player character, Mr Killguy, is to infiltrate the CocaLand HQ and retrieve the recipe for a sort of root beer he loved when he was only a simple Cypriot peasant boy dreaming of greatness. After this recipe is obtained, about a third of the way through the game, Porciapolous begins demanding a particular cup, now in the ownership of another wealthy eccentric...

Bessie Clovis: Mr Killguy's girlfriend. Stereotypical all-American bombshell blonde who fell in love with his manhood after he did her on the hood of his Chevy Camero. Absolutely, obsessively, mindlessly dedicated to her man. Exposure to high levels of PCBs and radioactive cobalt growing up in West Virgina have rendered her both without a functional sense of taste or smell, a bit "light-headed", and completely immune to the negative effects of junk food. Regularly eats dish sponges by accident because "da calawr and taste is sawh adarable".

The CocaLand Board of Directors Six men: Rick England, Ricky Ingland, Richard Englsland, Ric Inglend, Rikkey Ingland, and William Scotts. All six men are visually indistinguishable, with dyed-brown hair with silver offsets, shiny three-piece suits and platform loafers. They all think exactly the same thing at exactly the same time, and have absolutely no imagination in any sense of the word, but are all extremely vain and egotistical and jostle to be first to the bat in all things. William Scott is regarded as a "weirdo" despite having no obvious physical or mental trait diffentiating him from the others. Rick England is "in the closet". They are business rivals of Porciapolous, as their beverage business is threatened by his attempts to corner the global synthetic rubber market (although Porciapolous is not aware of this connection). They are all extremely vain and spend most of their time gossiping like schoolgirls and fretting over their personal grooming.

Chin: Porciapolous' "Manchurian" eunuch. Very tall. Never speaks. Shaved head. Wears only a plain cotton sash. Is secretly attempting to kill Porciapolous through saccharine poisoning.

Spaz Leon: Very masculine French mercenary. Talks like Jacques Cousteau. Hired by the CocaLand Board to spy on Killguy. Romantically involved with Rick England. Fell in love with Killguy at first sight; engages in long romantic soliloquies about his moral difficulties in spying on and sabotaging him.

Niki Micce: Female "Czechoslovakian" mercenary. Very sexy brunette. Former business partner of both Killguy and Leon. Hates Killguy, but has a crush on both his wife and Leon. Currently in the employ of the All-Cypriot People's Party. Obsessive collector of Soviet memorabilia. A living propaganda machine who can't go a sentence without spouting Marx. Moonlights as a gun runner. Loves Budweiser.

INTRO CHAPTER:
Killguy is hired on to eliminate a paparazzi who has learned too much about the many mistresses of a prominent European politician. Killguy and the politician set a trap for the paparazzi by hiring a pornstar to create a scandal for his benefit. Unfortunately, the politician has difficulties with his "equipment" and Killguy must choose how to handle the situation (a few solutions):

-sneak to the dispensary and obtain some Viagra, and get it to the politician without anyone noticing
-shoot the pornstar, causing the paparazzi to expose himself when he seeks to get shots of the film
-seek out the lurking paparazzi and off him
-do nothing, and threaten to expose the politician and his "infirmity" if he does not tell his colleagues the mission was successful

However the mission is resolved, the pornstar flirts with Killguy before knocking him out with her anesthetic-tipped high heels.

ACT ONE:
Killguy awakens in Porciapolous' private retreat. Porciapolous does most of the talking and establishes the somewhat overly tractable merc's new objective: to catch a rat loose in his retreat that is keeping him awake at night. Killguy must not let himself be known to the staff of the retreat, lest they become suspicious or learn of his captive's identity. Porciapolous explains that he is doing this both as a test of the merc's skills and loyalty but also his patience and tractability.

Again, many options:
-Catch the rat. The rat will always move away from crawlspaces in occupied rooms, so Killguy must move objects and otherwise manipulate the retreat staff into moving from room to room so the rat will eventually be cornered by the protagonist.
-Through detective work, including deduction, eavsdropping and subterfurge, deduce that the noise is really due to two servants making out in the kitchen after hours. This is so because one is cheating on another servant and so cannot do the deed in the servant's quarters.
-Steal supplies and board up the crawlspace and reinforce the wall, evading patrols and refilling vessels of expended materials with garbage secreted from other parts of the resort.
-Convince Porciapolous he is merely having an attack of hypochondria.

ACT TWO:
Infiltrate the CocaLand factory and steal the retired root beer recipe, while also obtaining intelligence on the staff and business.

-Covertly lift the recipe from the safe
-Deceive the staff (with the aid of stolen clothes and credentials) that the protagonist is really a flavor engineer, and convince them to simply hand over the recipe
-Shoot, stab, incinerate and disassemble every last mofo in the building and escape with the recipe
-Defect to CocaLand and become a double-agent
-Extort an employee into handing over the recipe
-Return to Porciapolous and lie, claiming the recipe is no longer extant

ACT THREE
A mission to Prague to gain information on a piece of blown glassware created by a worker's organization under the Soviets.

*continued*

Looking for feedback/ideas.


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.


Last edited by Aestu on Fri May 06, 2011 12:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 12:33 am  
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Fat Bottomed Faggot
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:53 pm
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That's a lot of writing for getting a glass of coke.

I'm going to assume a Harold and Kumar effect, where for some number of crazy events that getting to the goal takes a feature length movie.


"Ok we aren't such things and birds are pretty advanced. They fly and shit from anywhere they want. While we sit on our automatic toilets, they're shitting on people and my car while a cool breeze tickles their anus. That's the life."
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 12:45 am  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:19 pm
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Yar, exactly.


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 1:09 am  
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Falcon PUNCH! Faggot
Joined: Sun May 16, 2010 1:16 am
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I'm still waiting for "FUBU: The Game" and "FUBU: The Machinima".


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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 1:07 pm  
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Stupid Schlemiel
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:39 pm
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I will begin production immediately.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk


A man chooses, a slave obeys.
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 1:13 pm  
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MegaFaggot 5000
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:39 pm
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Remember when you said that my stories are terrible?


RETIRED.
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 3:01 pm  
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French Faggot
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It's about as coherent as the average American TV drama. I think that's the point.


If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 7:49 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 8:41 am
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Yuratuhl wrote:
It's about as coherent as the average American TV drama. I think that's the point.


IF YOU DONT LIKE OUR DRAMAS YOU CAN GIT OUT


Azelma

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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 7:55 pm  
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Fat Bottomed Faggot
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:53 pm
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Sons of Anarchy.

Bout the only drama I've watched.

And that's because OMGs are awesome.


"Ok we aren't such things and birds are pretty advanced. They fly and shit from anywhere they want. While we sit on our automatic toilets, they're shitting on people and my car while a cool breeze tickles their anus. That's the life."
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 8:08 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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Justified is good and Rescue me is fantastic.


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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 10:51 pm  
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French Faggot
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I just realized the thread was titled "glass of coke."

At first I was amused he wasn't drinking out of cans, but then it occurred to me that Aestu would buy in the cheapest available form, which I suspect is big plastic bottles. I assume he doesn't drink straight from said plastic two-liter bottles, so "glass" now makes sense.


If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
Shuruppak Yuratuhl
Slaad Shrpk Breizh
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 11:32 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 3:18 pm
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Coke is best in fountain drink form. followed closely by glass bottle form.

also, off a strippers ass is ok.


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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 11:33 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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Yuratuhl wrote:
I just realized the thread was titled "glass of coke."

At first I was amused he wasn't drinking out of cans, but then it occurred to me that Aestu would buy in the cheapest available form, which I suspect is big plastic bottles. I assume he doesn't drink straight from said plastic two-liter bottles, so "glass" now makes sense.


It is good to have friends that know one so well.

In fact I think if you look back a few threads, there's actually a picture of the glasses I bought.

And yes what Usd said.


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.
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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 5:58 am  
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Falcon PUNCH! Faggot
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Coke is only good with ice (basicly what Usd said) or warm.

I typically only drink water though. I don't often drink soda, but when I do, I prefer Sprite these days.

Fun Fact: Mountain Dew has Orange Juice in it!


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 Post subject: Re: drinking a glass of coke, had a brilliant idea for video
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 12:40 pm  
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MegaFaggot 5000
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Mexican coke.

Also, I got some Jones Cream Soda at the store yesterday and I pour that into a glass with some ice because its such a beautiful lady.


RETIRED.
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