Inside the brain of Aestu...
Aestu's Id: Man, I'd really like a hot broad. And a nice steak. Mmm... Aestu's Super-Ego: Yeah, everyone else gets those things. But we have to live with... Aestu's Ego: SILENCE TOADIES! I AM AESTU, I R AWESUM, WE DON'T NEED THOSE THINGS! I COMMAND YOU TO BE SILENT! Aestu's Super-Ego: Sigh... Yo, Aestu, we all saw that report Azelma forwarded us. You know, THAT might be why EVERYONE BUT YOU gets pussy... Damn, in Azelma's house I run the show. Aestu's Ego: WE DON'T NEED PUSSY, BECAUSE I R AWESUM! WAY BETTER THAN THAT AZELMA GUY! NO ONE IS AS AWESOME AS ME! Aestu's Id: Can I get reincarnated with someone else's ego? Usd maybe? Aestu's Ego: I AM AESTU AND I AM FOREVER! YOU'RE ALL STUCK WITH ME! Aestu's Super-Ego: Sigh. So, big man running this show, what are we doing today? Aestu's Ego: WE'RE GOING TO WRITE SOME EMAILS TO NAG PEOPLE TO GIVE ME WHAT I DESERVE. THEN WE ARE GOING TO GO EAT INDIAN BUFFET WHILE READING A BOOK THEN GO SHOPPING. Aestu's Id: Indian again? I guess it beats you snarfing down bricks of tofu and mushroom soup. Goddammit. Can we get meat? Aestu's Super-Ego: Are we going to be reading another one of those really boring two-thousand-year-old TLDRs? Can't we read something...like...not weird? Aestu's Ego: NO! FOR I AM AESTU AND I AM AWESUM! I SAY THAT'S WHAT WE'RE EATING AND READING SO THAT'S WHAT IT WILL BE! Aestu's Id & Super-Ego: Sigh....
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Aestu's Super-Ego: This restaurant is deserted. And the decor sucks. Aestu's Id: Food's pretty good though. No hot broads, but we know- Aestu's Ego: SILENCE TOADIES! GIRLS ARE ONLY A DISTRACTION. I HAVE MEDITATED ON INPUT FROM THE DEPARTMENT HEADS AND DECIDED THIS WAS THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY TO FULFILL THEIR REQUISITION DEMANDS. BUT... I BET I COULD DO A BETTER JOB OF RUNNING THIS PLACE THAN THAT GUY... LET ME GIVE HIM SOME POINTERS! Aestu's Super-Ego: You need to stop telling people how to do their jobs. Aestu's Id: We're hungry! Can't we ever sit and eat peacefully before you decide you want to go read a book or play a video game or something? Aestu's Mouth: [hey, the loud one is telling me to do something again] Yo, Paki dude, you'd get more customers if you put a sandwich sign outside, distributed some fliers, emphasized vegetarian food and put down a carpet. ...Uh, I'm just the messenger. Some guy who insists he's super-awesome and the savior of all mankind is telling me to tell you this because he thinks you're a nice guy. Paki dude: Thank you senor. Tell him he seems very intelligent. What does he do? Aestu's Super-Ego: Are you going to tell him you live off your parents? Aestu's Id: This Paki dude talks even more than you. God, we've been away from the buffet for TWENTY MINUTES NOW! Did you really have to do that? Can we at least sit down? Aestu's Ego: SILENCE! WE WILL BEND THE TRUTH WITHOUT LYING, BECAUSE AESTU IS TOO AWESOME TO LIE OUTRIGHT OR APPEAR FAULTY! WE WILL NOT SIT DOWN AND EAT, BECAUSE AESTU IS TOO AWESOME TO BE SEEN AS UNGRACEFUL. Paki dude: Oh, UMass Boston. Very nice school. I have three relatives who are studying business there. Aestu's Ego: HAHAHA! BUT THEIR BIZNESS SKILLS NO MATCH FOR MINE! PROBABLY WHY YOU NEED ME TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB! Aestu's Mouth: [...I'll just try to kiss up to the loud guy without pissing off this Paki] Yes, it is. Pleased to meet you.
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Aestu's Body: Hey, stop it. I can only walk so fast carrying 20 pounds of groceries. ...Yeah, I know, every time I gripe I get the same response which is- Aestu's Ego: MIND OVER BODY! KNOW YOUR PLACE, WORMS! TO THE THRIFT STORE! I WANT TO PREEN AT MY CLEVERNESS! Aestu's Body: Right-o. Off we go, 10MPH fully loaded! Aestu's Intestines: ...Oh, hey, my ship came in! Management finally filled those procurement orders with something other than endless crates of salt, crushed ice and mushrooms! Uh, who gets what? Aestu's Ego: LALALALALALALA Aestu's Intestines: Uh, right-o. Um, you seem to be doing well enough for yourself, so I'll just box this up and ship it downstairs- Aestu's Genitals: Zzzz... *snort* A...Are you going to beat me again? ...What? OH FOOD THANK THE LORD IM STARVING DOWN HERE Aestu's Intestines: Uh, you're welcome. It's on the house. Aestu's Genitals: *snarf snarf snarf* Aestu's Intestines: Wow, you've sure learned to do... a lot more...with...a lot less...maybe that wasn't such a good idea... Aestu's Ego: WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE!?!
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Aestu's Id: ZOMG~! Cheesecake movies and hentai! Aestu's Super-Ego: I'd rather have *him* in charge than have people look at us all weird when we do what you say. Aestu's Id: Are you saying people aren't looking at us weird anyway? Aestu's Ego: SILENCE! WE SHALL BUY THE CHEESECAKE MOVIES AND HENTAI. WE WILL ALSO BUY A LIKE-NEW BOOK ON GREEK HEROES AND A STANLEY KUBRICK DVD, BECAUSE READING THAT STUFF REMINDS ME HOW AWESOME I AM! Aestu's Id: Ha! I got what I wanted! Aestu's Ego: BECAUSE WE ARE AWESOME, WE WILL PUT THE ITEMS ON HALF DOT COM WHILE WE WATCH THEM. FOR I AM AESTU! I AM AWESOME AND MUST GET MAXIMUM MILEAGE OUT OF EVERYTHING I TOUCH! Aestu's Id: Hey... Aestu's Super-Ego: You know you'd get along a lot better if you just, you know, took it easy. Most people don't insist on reselling everything they buy. Storekeeper: What the- You cherrypicked all my merchandise that isn't total garbage! You're flipping this shit aren't you? Gtfo. Price is now $60. Sup? Aestu's Id: Let's whack this fucker! Aestu's Super-Ego: Let's...just leave quietly. Aestu's Ego: AESTU NEVER SURRENDERS! Aestu's Mouth: [you...what? ok...] Uh, let's compromise. $40 for everything on the table? Storekeeper: U R SMURT PERSON R U? ...k. Aestu's Ego: SUCKAAAAAA!
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Aestu's Body: *pant pant pant* Aestu's Ego: YOU CAN REST IN THE CHAIR! Aestu's Super-Ego: Hey, you need more tanning! Aestu's Id: Can we watch the cheesecake now? Or maybe the hentai? Aestu's Ego: NO! INSPIRATION HAS FILLED MY ALMIGHTYNESS. WE ARE GOING TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT HOW AWESOME I AM! THEN WE WILL WATCH THE CHEESECAKE. Aestu's Super-Ego: Dude... Aestu's Ego: SILENCE! WHO'S RUNNING THIS SHOW!?! Aestu's Id & Super-Ego: WTB TRANSFER PST
Aestu of Bleeding Hollow... Nihilism is a copout.
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