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Should you be able to return an adopted kid

Nope.

Not even if the kid is a sociopath a la Ted Bundy and you had no idea when you started the adoption process?

In that case, fuck yes.

If for stupid reasons such as "actually, I'm not ready" should be banned. Then again, maybe not because we straight up deny it then what kind of life are we giving a kid? Perhaps one full of resent and regret and loathing?

Shit this is a tougher question than I first thought lol

[✔] [item]Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker[/item] (Three)
[✔] [item]Sulfuras, Hand of Ragnaros[/item] (Two)
[✔] [item]32837[/item] & [item]32838[/item]
[✔] [item]Thori'dal, the Stars' Fury[/item]
[✔] [item]46017[/item]
[✔] [item]49623[/item] (Two)
[✔] [item]71086[/item]

Nope.

Yeah, the couple is trying to have a law passed that would allow it in extreme examples.

If you read the article, the kid they adopted clearly doesn't want to live with them either. So on the one hand, I see eturnal's point (made in so few words)....they made the adoption, they decided, for better or for worse, they need to raise the kid. Just like biological parents can't give their kids back (although I'm sure Aestu's tried....LOL JK) - adoptive parents shouldn't be able to return them.

On the other hand, if these disorders were hidden from the parents in the adoption process, and if they are ill-equipped to deal with them...and the kid himself is miserable...then perhaps finding a better place for him is the best decision for the child?

Nope.

Plus, what if the adopted kid doesn't have any underlying illness but then develops one later on? Should that, "kid didn't turn out the way I hoped clause" be put in the adoption papers?

Remember when most of us were kids and our parents would do something called 'disciplining'... sometimes it would involve a stern talks, spanking, belts, grounding, taking privilege away and/or straight up ass kicking. This country is too pussified for that any more - god forbid a parent try to actually parent their children without the child protective services getting called up. There is no excuse (I don't give a shit if it's some over-diagnosed 'disorder' or twenty of them) for shit behavior other than shitty kids being stuck with shitty parents. If disciplining doesn't work then you're doing it wrong or not doing it hard enough.

Again with the black and white. Nobody is denying that if the problems develop later on then it's on the adoptive parents. Also, nobody is advocating being able to return a child forever. However, if they are from day one or even one to two weeks (not enough time for a completely new disorder to develop) then there has to be some sort of lee-way.

Things can be gray too. You grayist.

[✔] [item]Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker[/item] (Three)
[✔] [item]Sulfuras, Hand of Ragnaros[/item] (Two)
[✔] [item]32837[/item] & [item]32838[/item]
[✔] [item]Thori'dal, the Stars' Fury[/item]
[✔] [item]46017[/item]
[✔] [item]49623[/item] (Two)
[✔] [item]71086[/item]

Regarding this particular kid
It's stupid the parents tried to embellish their account of this kid's difficulties with psychobabble when the facts are sufficient: torturing animals and violent/extremely aloof behavior are classic signs of social pathology.

Children who manifest those particular symptoms are almost impossible to fit into civil society and basically never live normal lives. I'm sure there are adoptive parents who want a "happily ever after" story and, just like biological parents, are too "pussified" to do real parenting. My own parents were like that. And perhaps these parents would still be griping if they got a kid who was basically normal but less than perfect. In this case though - this child they got sounds like he's a truly sick individual and there's nothing they or anyone else could really do about it.

Regarding the question of adoption in general
If parents can't return a natural kid why should they be able to return an adopted one? We also must consider the well-being of the kid: is it fair for the child, who is not of age and does not have adult maturity, to be second-hand merchandise? Difficult children need love and family too. I appreciate that asking adoptive parents to raise a difficult child when they've "checked out" of the process is good for neither them nor the child.

It should be legal to both return adoptive children and put one's own children up for adoption, but anyone who does so is blacklisted for life from future adoption, and must have their tubes tied.

If a parent wants to say that life was so unfair to this child that he's beyond fixing, then he should have equal willingness to submit to such a judgement. After all, part of being a good parent is being willing to persevere through the impossible - sticking with your troubled child even when you know he will never get better. Someone who can't do that, shouldn't be making babies.

Closely related is the reason that the divorce rate is over 50%. Marriage, like parenting, necessitate taking the good with the bad, having the humility and strength of character to accept life's inherent unfairness and the mutual flaws in oneself and others - not holding out for "happily ever after". That strength of character is wanting today.

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

What I don't get is, if that kid was really that messed up why did they not notice it sooner? Adoption is a long process, you don't just show up, pick one and leave.

The long process with adoption is making sure the parents are stable and good candidates. In many states, once parents are given a green light they might only get to see the kid once or twice before the adoption depending on the circumstances of the child. The process is being sped up more and more since child services is getting less and less funding.

The parents have apparently exhausted other options, and the boy is too dangerous to be adopted to an unprepared couple.

I think there should be a time limit and a pretty high bar for qualification, but returning a foster child should be allowed.



The thought that a good spanking and a stern voice is going to change some of these kids is completely naive. Perhaps in your 'Leave it to Beaver" fantasy world this makes sense, but this kid has some extreme issues and just spent a year in a psychological ward after attempting to kill the adoptive parents. You would have more of a point if they adopted an infant, but this kid has gone through some really fucked up shit in 11 years, it's not the fault of the adoptive parents that he needs significant psychological help. If they weren't prepared for that, if they weren't informed of the severity of the kids problems, it's the state's fault and not theirs.

Dvergar /
Quisling

What is the logic in setting a high bar for adoption when there is no bar at all for making babies?



If they gave full disclosure, who would take the less-than-perfect subjects?

If they gave full disclosure, who and how would it be fairly decided who gets the best subjects? How would you make any selection process fair, impartial and immune to influence?

Isn't it more fair to "let the dice decide" than to pass judgement on a child's very being - to let every child get a chance?

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

Seeing as how I don't have any kids, and can't stand kids in general, I'll just leave this instead of pretending I know what the fuck I'm talking about.

"Ethan, I can see the cogs in your head turning. You have that look on your face. You're thinking something evil."

"Ethan, whatever you do, however many people you kill, please let us and your brother be anonymous. I don't want to be remembered as the mother of the next Adolf Hitler."

"Ethan, I see nothing selfless about your actions. You like to help people only because it gives you a power trip."

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

What an exceptionally dumb question.



There are people who only take in extremely troubled cases. They look for the worst of the worst and request kids with a lot of problems.



Adoption has always been first come first serve, as long as the parents indicate they can handle they children and cys or another adoption agency certifies the parents.



A child with severe problems will only be hurt by putting them into a household that cannot handle their issues.

Dvergar /
Quisling