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IRVINE, CA - Many World of Warcraft players are continuing to receive their welfare epics even after they have been clinically dead for many years, an Associated Press investigation has revealed.
This abuse of the welfare gaming system came to light after a series of irregularities were noticed in the quantity of welfare epics being handed out, greatly exceeding the quantity it was possible for the number of players with lives to earn in a given time period.
"I mean, we found this one guy, hasn't had a pulse since the Dabiri administration, he's still getting his welfare in the mail. We haven't found out who's actually opening the mailbox," said one investigator, on condition of anonymity.
Blizzard-Activision, the firm that owns the declining franchise, has promised to "thoroughly investigate", however, "due to privacy concerns, we will be unable to share our findings". Calls continue for greater transparency by the monolithic gaming firm.
