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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:44 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 3:18 pm
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I know too many people who have been/are getting divorced to think that I have any chance at a successful stable relationship with the women of today.

Thanks feminism.


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:00 pm  
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Feckless Fool
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A lot of you seem bent on the idea that feminism has created high standards for women. So long as you're not settling down with the handler of a cracking whip, what's so wrong with that?


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:18 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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Xeoni wrote:
A lot of you seem bent on the idea that feminism has created high standards for women. So long as you're not settling down with the handler of a cracking whip, what's so wrong with that?


Because it hasn't. It has done the exact opposite.

Which demands higher standards, choosing a spouse for life, or choosing a spouse you can dump (while keeping more than half his stuff) once the honeymoon ends?

Which demands higher standards, dating/associating people you trust/feel comfortable with, or dating/associating with fuckwits whom you can make demands of that no sensible man would entertain then turn around and make baseless accusations of when something happens you just don't like?

Which demands higher standards, working, educating or competing with men on an even playing field, or having every hurdle sanded down to your level, preferring educators and workplaces trite enough to play that silly game to the exclusion of the real content that can't be watered down without being vacillated?

Feminism has been a boon for stupid women AND the stupid men who play such stupid games. It creates a massive disincentive for men to "compete" against both other men and women because it rewards unreasonable and crazy behavior and incompetent life management.

Now you say some women aren't whip crackers. Not so simple. Feminists have latched strongly onto fiscal incentives and consumerism because they want to capture the "swing vote" in the hopes of redefining the rules of society as a whole.

Exhibit A: Kardashian. Or that Hollywood couple that recently broke up, don't remember the name, don't care. Values are so perverted that most people actually consider that shit appealing, and you simply cannot act like more than half the world just doesn't exist.

Exhibit B: Zaryi. For no other reason than the power of feminist influence, she thinks dyke cuts are awesome and these evil misandrists (who also hate hetero women like her) are a less than entirely evil force partly because of peer pressure and partly because it's not so easy for anyone to criticize a system that pays out. Same is true, for example, of people like Eturnal or Usd or Jubber who think the police or military are awesome.

Once the bag of gold, or the halo of social approval, is picked up, it is counter to human nature to toss it back into the gutter.
That is not a female foible - it is a human one.

The shallow girl who dates and marries stupid guys and majors in stupid subjects and feminizes her way to the top is all around better off than the girl who tries to go for sensible guys (who won't play the double standard game), who majors in substantial subjects (which are hard and therefore award lower GPA), and who tries to earn her way to the top (and is passed up by feminizing racketeers).

The guy who doesn't act like a dipshit and play the stupid games and is wary of marriage and deals with women as if they stand on even ground, personally and professionally, is all around worse off than the Kool-Aid drinking airhead.

Social pressure and financial incentives mean you can't just pretend the mess doesn't exist because you think you got an incorruptible woman. Back to square one, more than half of marriages end in divorce, and to most former husbands, this comes as a total surprise to them. Only an arrogant fool would think he is better than 50%+ odds that struck down no less unwitting people.

Is my answer satisfactory to you, Xeoni?


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:01 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 3:18 pm
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The numbers don't lie. We live in a world where if something is broken, its easier to just get a new one rather than replace it. You want to bet half your shit on a 50% chance that a woman won't change her mind about you? There's too much free money in divorce for women, and there's virtually no incentive in staying married as a woman, and all the incentive in the world to remain married as a man.

What are your pro marriage arguments? "Because I love her" and "shes the right one?" They're all the right ones. They just all have expiration dates.


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:02 pm  
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Feckless Fool
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 5:15 pm
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Alls i know is anything i do is for me, by me. So if there was a thing, like a law, or whatever, which would have an influence upon what my marriage will be, i will do everything humanly possibe to protect myself from it.

Call it paranoia, i just don't want other people's shit fucking with my shit. So that sums up my stance in general. There are lines in the sand and i will either avoid them or move them.

For specific things the main deal breaker is hyphenated surnames. I will not tolerate them under any circumstance. Not a fan of this open door shitting either. Maybe my shit just stinks worse than everyone elses. I dunno.

Aestu referenced feminism doesn't get far down in these parts. Those who preach it are forever alone or end up with shitty poor excuses for men (which i suspect is also part of their goals, i've little reason to believe otherwise). Those who live happy marriages are normal people with reasonable views on how the world can, does, and should work. Most people down here fall into that category. We're lucky that we've been so much more liberal and less fractured so we haven't had to deal with the more extreme dialectics other societies have. Shit doens't get quite as fucked up down here, therefore our women are superior on issues such as this.

Also add me to the list of people who got scared by the thread title and whu made it.


Laetitia
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:24 am  
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Obtuse Oaf
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 9:55 am
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Location: Fort Oglethorpe, Ga
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So I skipped to the last page after seeing endless post from Aestu. My wife and I have been married for nearly 15 years (November is 15) and we have been together for almost 17 years. We have fought, we have cheered, and we have laughed our way to a marriage longer that her parents were together and longer than all 3 of my mothers marriages combined by doing one thing, we talk to each other. Granted I spend a lot of time goofing off on the computer and she watches far too much reality/cooking TV but any problem we have ever had has been resolved. Part of this comes from the fact that we both came from homes with divorced parents, and the other part is that we said from the beginning that if we could not work out an issue there was no point even starting a relationship. We have slightly different religious, political, and social views but nothing extreme and we are both the oldest of 3 siblings so maybe that helps but no matter what we are able to push through any tough times because we actually try.

A funny side note, my friend Phillip is very much like me in background though he was an only child. He however was married for 5 weeks before ending in a divorce to a woman who was much older than him. When I asked him if they tried to talk things over he looked at me with a puzzled look like I asked if he was from Mars.


9 level 90s and 10 85s, Damn I need another hobby.
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 6:55 am  
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Kunckleheaded Knob
Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:43 am
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Some of you just need to have a little faith.

Stop worrying about some make-believe system all the time.


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:10 am  
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Get Off My Lawn!
Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 5:57 pm
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The marriage/divorce statistics are difficult to ignore. Greater than half of marriages will fail. I believe most of these could be prevented by proper communication before the "I do's" are exchanged which was the point of this thread. Almost all of these people believed this person was the one. If you're a numbers guy, you realize that 51% is all it takes for Las Vegas to build the Bellagio...55-60%?... well. So, marriage looks like a losing proposal (Haha.. I've got a million of them... I'll be here all week).

If you feel like you should protect yourself from a woman/man you're planning to marry, then you definitely should, by all means. They should protect themselves from you, as well. But guys, there are plenty of women who have their own shit who would be taking the risk by marrying YOU instead of the other way around. But, here's the thing (I realize how ridiculous this sounds if you haven't been there), it is possible to meet someone that you want in your life so much that the risk of losing "half your shit" doesn't compare to the thought of not having them with you. If my wife left me, my stuff wouldn't mean a thing to me. I know this isn't the smart/safe play (ask Paul McCartney), but if you have to play it safe, then you aren't all in, and if you aren't all in, then this person is not someone you should marry. In 35+ years, the word divorce has never come up in a conversation between me and my wife relating to us.

Now, my true feelings about marriage are that it is outdated. Marriage is probably still a good idea if children are involved, imo, but for a couple, why is it important? I like the idea that two people are free to leave at any time without legal constraints, but stay because there is no place they would rather be and no one they would rather be with. I realize it is easy for the unburned not to fear the fire.


Boredalt - 80 Dwarf Priest - Dissension
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:45 am  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:19 pm
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Boredalt wrote:
If you feel like you should protect yourself from a woman/man you're planning to marry, then you definitely should, by all means... I know this isn't the smart/safe play (ask Paul McCartney), but if you have to play it safe, then you aren't all in, and if you aren't all in, then this person is not someone you should marry.


This reasoning would be sound if divorces were attributable to a lack of compatibility or planning on the groom's behalf. But most husbands have every reason to believe they fully know the other person yet wind up getting divorced anyway.

This is a case where knowledge trumps judgement. It's like knowing to second-guess snow blindness or desert mirages.

Boredalt wrote:
But, here's the thing (I realize how ridiculous this sounds if you haven't been there), it is possible to meet someone that you want in your life so much that the risk of losing "half your shit" doesn't compare to the thought of not having them with you.


Walt Disney imagery aside, there is nothing good or redeeming about being a fool.


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 11:26 am  
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Get Off My Lawn!
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Aestu wrote:
Boredalt wrote:
But, here's the thing (I realize how ridiculous this sounds if you haven't been there), it is possible to meet someone that you want in your life so much that the risk of losing "half your shit" doesn't compare to the thought of not having them with you.


Walt Disney imagery aside, there is nothing good or redeeming about being a fool.



Conceded. "I realize how ridiculous this sounds if you haven't been there."

I think it is important to recognize that most assets you bring into a marriage are already protected from divorce proceedings. You only risk losing half of what you acquire together. As long as you aren't planning on marrying a lazy, dim-witted, unambitious, unemployed, penniless ho, I think you can be assured that she'll be contributing to the assets you build as a couple.


Boredalt - 80 Dwarf Priest - Dissension
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:23 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 3:18 pm
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The vast majority of divorces are filed for by women.

Why do you think that is?


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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:12 pm  
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Get Off My Lawn!
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Usdk wrote:
The vast majority of divorces are filed for by women.

Why do you think that is?


Hmm. So, the implication here is that most of the women out there who would marry you, share your bed, have your children, contribute financially, etc etc for 8 years (the average marriage) are only doing it to get the lion's share of the assets you two have built up during your marriage plus alimony IF you happen to make more money than she does (which certainly isn't a lock) and child support IF she wants/gets custody of the kids, if there are any? She would be WAY farther ahead just to forget about marriage and start working/saving on her own.

Most assets you bring into the marriage are protected. You honestly think most women plan this move?


Boredalt - 80 Dwarf Priest - Dissension
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:19 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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Boredalt wrote:
I think it is important to recognize that most assets you bring into a marriage are already protected from divorce proceedings. You only risk losing half of what you acquire together.


Wrong on all counts. And child support is tied to whoever gets the kids and supersedes all other considerations.

Boredalt wrote:
As long as you aren't planning on marrying a lazy, dim-witted, unambitious, unemployed, penniless ho, I think you can be assured that she'll be contributing to the assets you build as a couple.


...but still gets more from the breakup.

Boredalt wrote:
are only doing it to get the lion's share of the assets...

...You honestly think most women plan this move?


It is not that black and white.

Common example, women don't want an engagement ring for its cash value, but more often than not they keep it anyway.



Boredalt wrote:
She would be WAY farther ahead just to forget about marriage and start working/saving on her own. Most assets you bring into the marriage are protected.


Neither is true. She can have her cake and eat yours too.


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:33 pm  
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Get Off My Lawn!
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Aestu wrote:
Boredalt wrote:
I think it is important to recognize that most assets you bring into a marriage are already protected from divorce proceedings. You only risk losing half of what you acquire together.


Wrong on all counts.


http://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2011/04/12/understanding-how-assets-get-divided-in-divorce/


Boredalt - 80 Dwarf Priest - Dissension
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 Post subject: Re: Divorce
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:36 pm  
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Kunckleheaded Knob
Joined: Sat May 15, 2010 1:05 am
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Sounds like a lot of people should just chop their dicks off and become eunuchs. Pretty scary world out there. Probably should build a bomb shelter and live in that from now on. Because the way I am reading this, no matter what went down people who get married have just made a bad choice. 100% no doubts.


P.S. Don't quote the glass statement if it completely flew over your wig and landed 100 feet away. ffs


[13:56:01] [W From] [Slimecrack]: I just wanted to tell your brown that when I look into its one brown eye, I see joy and love, thank god for your ass, PRAISE JESUS!
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