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Why do they think this shit is acceptable? 'Our house, our rules, don't like it move out (lol)'

This is how they've run shit from day one. "Whateva, I do what I want." They don't think about unintended consequences. They don't put themselves in my position and try to understand things through my eyes.

Am I ashamed of living at home at age 26? Absolutely. I despise it. I appreciate the fact that I have a roof, but I hate that I am at their mercy on so many issues. Where does one draw the line? Why do they continue the failed bullshit pattern of giving me two extremely undesirable circumstances? I don't blame them for 'everything', not by a long shot. They refuse to acknowledge their mistakes that they continue to make.

They're all about being responsible for your own actions, unless they are the people in question.


in b4 you have a nice house stfu
in b4 your parents are saints that can do no wrong stfu
in b4 spoiled
in b4 they 'have a right' to remain friends with her and still do things
in b4 think about your kids (this isn't about my kids)
in b4 you know a damn thing about my life


I have no idea where to go from here or what to do. The cost of living in Maryland is retardedly high, and my children live about 20 minutes away with their mother (in a townhouse that was more or less dropped into her fucking lap, while she's driving a car bought by her grandfather.)


Yeah, my life belongs on Jerry Springer and I'm well fucking aware of this.

Brawlsack

Taking an extended hiatus from gaming

Rough spot man. I'd say just try to avoid being around when she is.

If it's just a question of them being friends and talking to her, assuming this is THE ex, they probably just want to remain on good terms with the mother of their grand children.

I really don't know.

When in doubt, fist pump the moon.

Wait.so you have no say on thus whatsoever?

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

I have an extra room.


Bit of a commute though.

"Our house our rules lol@u gtfo if you don't like it"

It's been this way for 26 years. They dont analyze their actions, they justify them.

Brawlsack

Taking an extended hiatus from gaming

It goes further than that. Family dinners, outings, etc.

It's fucking classless piece of shit treatment. They have no concept of boundaries and when I raise the issue "you have no right to tell us blahblahblah"

Brawlsack

Taking an extended hiatus from gaming

Can you bring women home?

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

I know it hurts deeply when it appears your parents are putting an EX over you but think of it from their perspective. She is the mother of their grandchildren. In order to see them they must play her game.

Talk to your parents about it. Tell them you aren't ready for her to be in your home and buddy buddy just yet. That you need time to heal. Also make it clear that there is no chance of you reconciling (if this is in fact the case) and that bringing you two together pushes you both further apart.

I know breaking up sucks. Especially when there are children involved.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus

Callysta of Reverence

ROFL.

So for all your pompous BS about what a responsible father and adult you are and how I'm a loser who still lives off his parents while blaming them for everything, now you say you're not only no better but quite a bit worse in that you knocked a girl up. And now at this juncture still all you can see is yourself.

To hear so many cruel words from you about my life now to learn it was all hypocrisy.
Forgive me for not having more sympathy for you now.

A while back you asked for help and I offered it and you spat in my face. I have no doubt your parents side with this woman you knocked up for that very reason, you are supremely concerned with thinking of yourself as a good guy and have zero interest in constructive analysis.

You complain about your parents and them siding with your ex. But you don't even say what the matter of contention is. What "rules" are unreasonable? In what unfair way are they "siding" with the ex?

So is it that you are being treated unfairly or is it that as always you just don't like hearing things you don't like hearing? I know if I were the parent of such a son, I'd be at my wit's end too.

Look on the bright side, though. The children are no longer your responsibility. You have places to go, on FUBU and surely IRL friends. And there's always military welfare - you're young and fit enough to join up, no? So perhaps you may yet manage to turn things around.

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

That sucks man - and I can totally understand you being pissed at your parents.

If I had to guess though, they are more concerned with being able to see their grandchildren, hence continuing a relationship with your ex. Staying on cordial terms with her seems to be their focus, and unfortunately, it seems they'd rather do that than try to show solidarity with you and tell her to fuck off.


I think you need to stop focusing on how shitty things are right now (and yes, they are shitty it sounds like...and I don't pretend to know what you're feeling right now)...but you need to start thinking

"How can I change this?"

This is an opportunity. Come up with a plan. How can you eventually move out of your parents house? How can you work to be an even better father for your children? How can you show your ex "psht bitch you done fucked up leaving me..." how can you prove to yourself "yeah, I'm worth it!"

I don't have those answers, but now's the time when you need to dust yourself off and keep fighting.

Then when you're in your own place, with a better job, better life, feeling good about yourself, feeling confident you can be like






Is it possible they hope you and her reconcile and that could be part of their motivation for having dinners/family outings and such?

Sounds like your parents are a couple douche bags. Save up some money, get a place of your own, get custody of the kids then put them on perma ignore.

[13:56:01] [W From] [Slimecrack]: I just wanted to tell your brown that when I look into its one brown eye, I see joy and love, thank god for your ass, PRAISE JESUS!

This is the best advice and it is my goal as well.

Except, when my parents are old and weak, I plan on suing to have them ruled incompetent and award me full custody, then force them to spend their last years on Earth in a broom closet with no toilet.

Tbh, React, I truly believe that there are many parallels in our situation. In fact what you describe is becoming an epidemic amongst young white men - unreasonable expectations, being given worse incentives than women, while getting less support and more blame, and receiving zero social respect or exclusive perks while women get their own exclusive perks and respect just for being female. I was talking to another friend the other day, who I think is a lurker here, who has many of the same problems.

I know what you mean by parents offering false dualities, no respect, etc.

It is my honest belief that what is happening to you is not fair.

But what I see is, when we've discussed men's issues, you've been disinterested, you split the difference, etc. You are callous in your disdain for my life on the very same issues.
But now that your precious feelings are wounded...well...what change will come of it?

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

Wasn't he married with a kid or two? The wife kicked him out I'm assuming, and if that's the case, the parents should be less douchey about it and more mournful with their child.

Don't you have any close friends you can stay with? Or are they all henpecked by their wives who wouldn't be caught dead helping a man who just got tossed out by some woman?

I guess I struggle with relating to Aestu's and React's situations. I certainly hated my parents at times when I was living at home.

What about your parents expectations are unreasonable?

Would you rather they actually kick you out and cut you off?

I know when I was graduating college, the expectation was that I would get a job and move out. They constantly bugged me about making sure I was searching, getting interviews, etc. I remember the week after I moved out my dad called me and said "okay, we're kicking you off our cell phone plan...so call Verizon"

I didn't take it personally, it was expected. I'm wondering what about your parents was so different? My parents had the expectation that I would support myself, and they would have started charging me rent if I couldn't have moved out right away.......



Perhaps that's just it! - by supporting you guys (financially) almost with the attitude that you would just fuck it up if you tried it on your own, your parents took away your confidence. If your parents don't think you can get a job and live on your own...clearly that will have a negative effect on your confidence/psyche. Clearly it does you no favors. It's why the welfare mentality in a lot of African American communities is so toxic. How can you be empowered to succeed if you're always taught "no, you'll just fuck it up, here let me support you"

No wonder you guys hate your parents.

I thought my parents were assholes for making me get a job in high school, then taking a % of each paycheck. I thought they were fucks when they refused to help me with college other than cosigning on loans. But at the end of the day, they forced me out of the nest and I flew. There's a lesson there for parenting. You have to be tough on your kids but at the same time believe in them. My parents may have been tough about things, but they knew I could fly on my own...and so I did.

I guess that's why I love my parents.

That is all well and good, but has nothing to do with the original issue here. If his parents were just keeping casual contact with his Ex to be nice and have opportunities to visit the grand kids that is fine. Sounds like they are going out on lunches, having her over regularly for dinner and other stuff that is way beyond "keeping up speaking terms". If he has expressed these same concerns to them as I have read them here I would have to give them the bird and put as much space between myself and these people as possible. Parents or not, some shit just doesn't work.

Someone else brought up the friend thing. Do you not have some friends that could let you crash a sofa for a little while until you find a decent place? I have helped a friend this. Also helped a friend of my wife for a couple weeks that was in a similar situation. There is no real shame is asking someone for help as long as you know you would repay them the same way AND you know you are not going to take advantage and become that annoying squatter who refuses to leave.

[13:56:01] [W From] [Slimecrack]: I just wanted to tell your brown that when I look into its one brown eye, I see joy and love, thank god for your ass, PRAISE JESUS!