The Official "I just had Sex" Thread

Aestu · **Posted:** Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:49 pm

I think it's funny. Especially if the creature has been neutered or spayed. Think of your pet as a source of personal validation. Surely as your best friend it owes you so much, no?

Battletard · **Posted:** Sun Sep 23, 2012 10:08 pm

So yeah, Saturday night...was talking to this girl for a few weeks now. We hang out like twice, she totally wants my d. No fucks given, I restrain myself.

Fast forward to Saturday, I was gonna have the house completely to myself, but my parents opted to not take their trip that same day. Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuu. No fucks given, once again. We had plans for her to come over Saturday, consume alcohol and YOLO it up and make bad decisions.

An alternative was needed..we ended up gathering my camping shit and camping out by this trout creek near her house. I drove to her place, scooped her, found our site and set up camp. No campfire because its trespassing / illegal / no fire pit / drunk people gg..but then we went and got takeout from a Chinese place, brought it back to the camp site which had already been set up before dark.

I had the flashlights in the car and stuff, we hiked back to the site with our food. Ate Chinese food, drank beer and fucked like it was the last night on earth.

It was an awesome night. No words.

Necrachilles · **Posted:** Sun Sep 23, 2012 10:18 pm

Battletard wrote:

So yeah, Saturday night...was talking to this girl for a few weeks now. We hang out like twice, she totally wants my d. No fucks given, I restrain myself.

Fast forward to Saturday, I was gonna have the house completely to myself, but my parents opted to not take their trip that same day. Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuu. No fucks given, once again. We had plans for her to come over Saturday, consume alcohol and YOLO it up and make bad decisions.

An alternative was needed..we ended up gathering my camping shit and camping out by this trout creek near her house. I drove to her place, scooped her, found our site and set up camp. No campfire because its trespassing / illegal / no fire pit / drunk people gg..but then we went and got takeout from a Chinese place, brought it back to the camp site which had already been set up before dark.

I had the flashlights in the car and stuff, we hiked back to the site with our food. Ate Chinese food, drank beer and fucked like it was the last night on earth.

It was an awesome night. No words.

Sans the part about YOLO...

Azelma · **Posted:** Mon Sep 24, 2012 7:03 pm

Battletard wrote:

So yeah, Saturday night...was talking to this girl for a few weeks now. We hang out like twice, she totally wants my d. No fucks given, I restrain myself.

Fast forward to Saturday, I was gonna have the house completely to myself, but my parents opted to not take their trip that same day. Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuu. No fucks given, once again. We had plans for her to come over Saturday, consume alcohol and YOLO it up and make bad decisions.

An alternative was needed..we ended up gathering my camping shit and camping out by this trout creek near her house. I drove to her place, scooped her, found our site and set up camp. No campfire because its trespassing / illegal / no fire pit / drunk people gg..but then we went and got takeout from a Chinese place, brought it back to the camp site which had already been set up before dark.

I had the flashlights in the car and stuff, we hiked back to the site with our food. Ate Chinese food, drank beer and fucked like it was the last night on earth.

It was an awesome night. No words.

Excellent story - and many congrats! That's how you make lemons out of lemonade

But yeah, say Carpe Diem....YOLO is what idiot 15 year olds tweet at each other.

Usdk · **Posted:** Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:30 pm

So friday night, friend of mine and his hot wife come eat dinner at my bar. they bring a turbo hot girl with them. He starts joking about how he and the two women will have a threesome. I say something along the lines to the single girl, "When you get tired of his bullshit, here's my number." and then gave her my card.

She calls me up, we meet up saturday night at a club(I mentioned earlier I only go to clubs when there's a woman waiting for me). I walk in, I know the door guy and get in free, and I go looking for that girl in the club. Takes a while, but I find her, and she's dancing with my friend's hot wife. TURNS OUT she told him it was a girls night out, the two girls came out to meet ME without his knowledge.

Now, I'm not a buddy fucker. I don't screw around with my friends women. However, I did dance the night away with those girls and had a fucking blast. Plenty of club douche's giving me props for bumping and grinding on two hot women at a club, so that was funny. Got the single girl's number and a little extra. UNFORTUNATELY, wifey had changed her mind about me and single lady and took her away from me, but single lady apparnetly started puking later anyway so no big.

I know this isn't the ALMOST had sex thread, but I hope to followup with this one soon.

Battletard · **Posted:** Mon Sep 24, 2012 9:38 pm

Give me a sitrep in 72 hrs

Necrachilles · **Posted:** Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:10 pm

USA USA USA

Battletard · **Posted:** Wed Sep 26, 2012 3:32 am

Attachment:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1348648294.459395.jpg [ 91.92 KiB | Viewed 4937 times ]

I came across this and had to post to rustle Necra & Azelma's jimmies.

its okay to say YOLO if you're not being srs

Necrachilles · **Posted:** Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:47 am

I don't have jimmies. Nice try, pussy.

Lucinth · **Posted:** Wed Sep 26, 2012 11:50 am

Necrachilles wrote:

I don't have jimmies. Nice try, pussy.

They sound rustled.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

Necrachilles · **Posted:** Wed Sep 26, 2012 11:57 am

Lucinth wrote:

Necrachilles wrote:

I don't have jimmies. Nice try, pussy.

They sound rustled.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

Tumbleweed.

Fantastique · **Posted:** Wed Sep 26, 2012 6:18 pm

I enjoyed Zaryi's hashtag.

Battletard · **Posted:** Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:40 am

So I'm kindasorta talking to this girl. We had a really awesome FaceTime the other night and we were really clicking on a lot of things. She's awesome.

She started sexting me and I'm not posting it, but part of it was about how she's 'begging me to tease her.'

This was my response:

Quote:

I put on a sombrero and use it to control time... a radio controlled shark flies into the room. You look around confused as hell. I turn into Tom Cruise and start laughing. You are straight up terrified. My head turns into a pineapple right as you begin to orgasm. Now you're beginning to calm down. The drugs are wearing off. You awaken to find yourself riding on the Nebuchadnezzar next to Morpheus. He starts singing a Russian folk song from the old country. You rip my pineapple head off and make fruit salad. Then Agent Smith blows everything up. Doesn't matter, had sex.

She lol'd, which makes her awesome. Aaannnywayyyy. Couldn't really think of a decent thread to put this in, but I know you guys do the erotica thing. I am horrible at that, so I responded with humor. Hah.

Battletard · **Posted:** Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:40 am

So I'm kindasorta talking to this girl. We had a really awesome FaceTime the other night and we were really clicking on a lot of things. She's awesome.

She started sexting me and I'm not posting it, but part of it was about how she's 'begging me to tease her.'

This was my response:

Quote:

I put on a sombrero and use it to control time... a radio controlled shark flies into the room. You look around confused as hell. I turn into Tom Cruise and start laughing. You are straight up terrified. My head turns into a pineapple right as you begin to orgasm. Now you're beginning to calm down. The drugs are wearing off. You awaken to find yourself riding on the Nebuchadnezzar next to Morpheus. He starts singing a Russian folk song from the old country. You rip my pineapple head off and make fruit salad. Then Agent Smith blows everything up. Doesn't matter, had sex.

She lol'd, which makes her awesome. Aaannnywayyyy. Couldn't really think of a decent thread to put this in, but I know you guys do the erotica thing. I am horrible at that, so I responded with humor. Hah. Whatever, it worked.

Aestu · **Posted:** Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:31 am

Battletard wrote:

I know you guys do the erotica thing. I am horrible at that

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