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I was in..I don't know, Iceland or someplace Scandinavian judging from the landscape and people and buildings and cars. Which is weird since I've never been any of those places so how would I know, right? Anyway, I was there with someone I know, and apparently I had brought us there because she was very happy and had really wanted to come.

We got lost in the woods along a river and had to rent a car to drive back to our hotel. This is where I saw the Bigfoot. No one else knew it was a Bigfoot, because he was wearing a magic ring that made everyone else think he was a person. He was there to kill me, because I had killed the Boogey Man. He had been sent by President Obama, who had given him the ring.

The Secret Service came and killed the Bigfoot. One of my old friends from back when I was a superhero was in charge, and had come to save me because that's what old friends from when you were a superhero do. He told me President Obama needed the ring back, because he needed it to win the election. Apparently, President Obama had gone down to the crossroads and made a deal with Satan, and traded his soul for the ring, and he needed it to win the election more than he needed for a Bigfoot to look human so he could kill me.

Then for some reason all the super-weird stuff stopped and the more realistically weird stuff started again, and I found myself in a very beautiful church marrying the person I had brought with me. Everyone was there. I'm not going to say who my best man was because feelings would be hurt, but it made sense it was him, all things considered. After I kissed the bride, and we were leaving the church, I saw my mom, and ran over to her and asked her how she could be there. I was very happy. She said she wasn't there and it was a dream and I was about to roll over on the sore spot on my back and wake up.

I totally woke up because I rolled over on the sore part of my back.

I think the moral of the story is that no matter how weird things get, my mother always knew exactly what was going to happen.

At least, that's what I hope the moral of the story was supposed to be, otherwise I have to start watching out for a Bigfoot with a magic ring.

I'm going back to sleep.

Your Pal,
Jubber

AKA "The Gun"
AKA "ROFeraL"

World Renowned Mexican Forklift Artiste

Needs more amputees.

Like...



...wise.

PS: Uncover the bride prior to kissing her? Weena or Aestu should get that reference.

PPS: Before someone asks, no, I don't wear any rings.

The bride wasn't wearing a veil, and my mother was outside, if that means anything.

Your Pal,
Jubber

AKA "The Gun"
AKA "ROFeraL"

World Renowned Mexican Forklift Artiste

I'm not sure I get the reference, unless it pertains to a certain Babylonian goddess.

To allow a veiled person to see clearly, you uncover their eyes. Look up what apocalypse actually means.



Brides and grooms, your mom was outside because she's not around to watch, correct?

I guess that makes sense.

Your Pal,
Jubber

AKA "The Gun"
AKA "ROFeraL"

World Renowned Mexican Forklift Artiste

Nope. Tehra never makes any sense.

inb4 he links a bunch of irrelevant stuff and pretends there's a connection.

No worries, you'll get yours too.