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Me and my relationship woahs....

Why did everything get so hard all of a sudden, the arguing and tiffing.... ughhh... Not that anybody cares, worth a shot.

Advice?

This seems pretty common. The two year hump is the big one, and if you can get over it you're in for the long haul.

I, sadly, don't have much to say beyond that, because this is always when I find out someone cheated on me

throw it all away for hookers instead

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Yeah, most guys are pieces of shit. I don't know why I'm so different.

Maybe it's because you're so "different" that it's difficult.

facebumnuts - much face much bum much nuts

Deal with each problem you're having individually and don't look at it like it's just something happening on a timer. You may actually have to have some uncomfortable conversations the other person...because it's harder to tell the other person about their shortcomings that it is to admit your own.

You might need to shake things up a bit and do some different things together.

Your Pal,
Jubber

AKA "The Gun"
AKA "ROFeraL"

World Renowned Mexican Forklift Artiste

Can't find the article right now but if I remember correctly between 10-14 months is when 2 people really get comfortable with each other and no longer feel the need to constantly put out their best appearance for their SO. Because of this a lot of times people start to see who their SO "really is" as they start to show all their true colors. It can be difficult because each person was previously used to the "early-mid dating phase" and the actions it brought.

No suggestions on how to fix the problem though.

In my experience, the 2 year mark is when women start to push the boundaries and see what and how you react to stuff. I don't like being tested so I usually dump them before then.

I previously had an almost 5 year relationship, and now I'm in month 14 of my current relationship.

Mazeltov has it right...there is a certain comfort level that occurs and leads to each person in the relationship being more "themselves"

Which basically means...whereas before if something bothered you (or her) and you wanted something different...maybe you would sit on it and avoid the conflict. There's less..."rocking the boat" in year 1.


I think it's inevitable...conflict happens in relationships. Change happens in a relationship. Talk to someone in year 1 of their relationship and it's most likely sunshine and lollipops. Talk to someone in year 5 of a relationship, and maybe they aren't giddy 100% of the time, but they've probably built something much stronger...something lasting.

Remember that's what you are working toward if you truly love each other.

How to "fix" it?

It all comes down to communication and compromise. Too often people fight over stupid shit in relationships because there are deeper issues/needs not being met. Start to think about your fights. Is there a pattern? What are the hang ups that keep causing issues between you? That's what you need to focus on and really TALK about.

That's something I did poorly in my first relationship (and we still made it almost 5 years lol). There were deeper issues I had, insecurities, etc. and I just didn't talk about them...instead we got into loads of fights over little unimportant shit. After a while, it built up so much that we were never happy, and it made us forget why we were together in the first place. That's what you want to avoid.


In my current relationship...yeah we have our tiffs, but we always stop, break them down...and move on.


Relationships take work.

Year 1 is easy street.

Year 2 is when you have to start really putting in the time if you want to make it work in the long haul. No relationship is perfect...every couple that has been together for a long time has put in work.


TL,DR: Communicate, talk. Are your goals the same? Is the fight really about whatever unimportant thing or are there larger patterns at work? Communicate.

Azelma has it right. There are relationship hurdles all over the place. But if you approach things with patience, love and understanding, you will be ahead of the game. Communication and apologies are key.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus

Callysta of Reverence

I have no constructive advice but you're a pretty cool dude so I hope it works out.

If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
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Slaad Shrpk Breizh

You two should start doing some butt-stuff; nothing solves relationship woes like butt-stuff.

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sunshine.kittens.bubblegum.happythoughts

Gross and never.

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You act like things are supposed to get easier.

Melding your life to anothers and theirs to yours is not easy and it never gets that way.

You just have to make sure it's worth the struggle.



Also I don't know shit about relationships. You shouldn't take my advice.

We've already done that, didn't make much of a difference to our relationship.