Yuratuhl wrote:
Akiina wrote:
I see a Beel lurking, protect your eyes and anus.
That Beel has a really strange join date. He was in Bucket years before September 2009.
Clax originally applied with the forum name Calx. At some point he re-registered as Beel. What follows is his original application, possibly the greatest application in the history of applications to any guild, and it's still sticked in the "Join I Has a Bucket" forum to this day:
man say post computer rogue every way
Come sail with me, oh chums and chaps. Set aflame your fears of an uncertain world where the rich get richer and the poor get children, for we are all about to drip slick and wet with an unrivaled anticipation. Some of you are feeling it now, others are dry as a bone; well prepare to be hydrated by the anal glands of my pet cat because there won't be enough tortillas for this conversation.
I, Bleeding Hollow's most unremarkable and inexcusable Calx persona, wish henceforth, hitherto, to apply for an ever most concrete and legitimate raider status for my darling god-daughter Beel. Long ago there was a cereal called Sprinkle Spangles which tasted very weird but I kind of miss it.
I will now adhere to your country's customs in an uncreative manner, as per my desire to apply for the aforementioned position:
---Under the evermost Required category, you do so ask of my age. All Calx are over the age of eighteen. I am 21, I am qualified to purchase alcohol, pornography, tobacco, and indulge within said activities within a voting booth, whether or not I indulge in such pedestrian affairs is a whole different flavor of sparklefashion altogether. Voting is so canadian.
Further interrogation wishes to garner from me information as to whether Ventrilo is installed, working in concert with a functional microphone so that my ever so velvet tongue can wordsmith the most luscious sentences for all your aural pleasures, to this I say yes... and no. Yes, Ventrilo is installed, and yes I have a working headset, however
http://www.imagedump.com/index.cgi?pick=get&tp=533508
with ear #2 severed, it will sit awkwardly and smellilly on my head. Don't count such sacrifice beyond my abilities, however, as the article still functions. To a degree.
---As it would seem, we have come to the Basics category. Paltry information; ever so paltry. I am best known as Calx, however it is Beel that is the object of affection this time around. Beel, as you well know, is our realm's paramount horde ret and silver-medal second of the top two (uh, only two) horde raiding retributions on our smashing old realm! With an embarrassing 80 or so days played at 70 (contested only by my warlock's total days /played) it would be within the bounds of fairness to proclaim myself capable of not standing in fire.
You ask of my maturity. To date I've not yet received a suspension of any duration for calling another player a 'faggot.' Charming. Though maturity aside, I must confess: though I don't know any Bucket chaps in person, I do see the gentle eyes of Srmoocow in every mall santa, the gentle kindness of Crebain in the pucker of every prostitute's lips, the soft touch of NK in the handshake of every war veteran, the scathing glare of Mayo in the eyes of every ruler-wielding nun, and the loving, friendly smile of Tira in the decaying remains of recent roadkill.
Please sit and be fascinated with my evermost wonderful spec: the finely tuned I-know-what-I'm-doing raiding retribution spec. At the time of typing this, I am abortion arena spec (20/41), but I shall respec and logoff, toot-sweet for your sniffing pleasure. Should this I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD PLEASE DISREGARD MY POST, indulge in
http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/info/cla ... 3125331051
Things to note in this spec, as it may vary from other raiding rets, and I've the right to defend my opinions:
2/5 Ben Addiction, besides not liking Ben too terribly much, the talent has some negative synergy with sanctified judgment, and cannot be maxed without detracting talents
1/2 Improved Judgment, going 2/2 creates a cooldown cycling conflict in which crusader strike and judgment arrive at the same time, forcing you to decide on one of the two to cast or risking a melee swing without having a seal charged. Dropping one point solves the conflict.
1/3 Vindication, though nearly all bosses (except Void Reaver for a hilarious previous patch) are immune to it, a lesser known fact of it is one point in it will proc judgment of wisdom on the mob, yielding more mana returned for a talent spec that cannot manage mana worth the love of a dying mime's bowel release.
The remaining talent selections should be self-admonishing.
Apart from general hitcap, statistics of note are nearly +15% haste in full haste gigs, unbuffed attack power nearing 1950 without BT gems, crit rating hovering between 22% in haste gigs (sadly, normal), and 27% in Shut Up and Jam apparel. Quite an excellent start in fielding a guild ret mascot when the more entry level chaps are troubled by 1600 AP, no haste, modest crit, and a S1 weapon. It does so break my heart to see them as such, but a large amount of personal work went into the crafting of Beel's state of affairs. The net result was well worth the effort, culminating in an all-time high of 1587 sustained dps in a high threat ceiling environment, fully buffed and supported by brave bucket companions and having tremendous fun staring at Recount while playing an abortion of a defensive hybrid class.
screenshots:
http://www.hemmy.net/images/photography/liweiart05.jpg Beel vs illidan.
http://www.nedavno.ru/albums/ads-all/puknez-beel.jpg no pls
http://www.pantherhouse.com/newshelton/ ... onwalk.png Beel and Beel's dad, and the event that led to her becoming a ret paladin
But yes. Previous guild experience consisted mostly of SG's glory days (oh yes, once a tyrannical empire that was a blast to be a part of). Learned just how painful raiding was when I farmed my own nature resist gear to be a huhu soak, and we never got her down and were cockblocked out of AQ40. The coolest place ever, second to naxx. When SG pooped itself and it's members diffused every which way, most found their way to Tempest, and I fell into Bucket. I believe I can help fill a niche roll to assist in catching Bucket back up to Tempest, after a few player breaks and a bit of raid disillusionment gave Tempest a bit of a PVE lead. If I'm wrong or incorrect in my assumptions, please feel free to give me a proper spanking.
As for name, work, and where I live and all that, the only other place I've seen my name was in FF12 where it's actually a very obscure and rarely mentioned country, but I've always just gone by my shortened middle name. My partner in crime who I used to pingpong our WoW account with back and forth in pre-BC is still around, and I doubt revealing her name without a fight would be very cricket either. Sorry dorry. Currently living in Arizona, raising money to move and situate myself in Washington. The only negative bit that I foresee is I am always out to snag another job, and I don't know how that would affect raid schedules, but between working part time, doing online classes and kissing sailors, I do guarantee Beel will be all up in your grill for as many raids as possible, if not all (hopefully).
I do totally hope this is enough information in regards to bringing Beel out of freelance. If there is anything I failed to cover, you most assuredly know where to find me, and how best to interrogate me. For now I ask unto you to look back upon that which I have written, and say to yourself "I actually read all that."
Reading is fundamental.
