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So, I felt that we need a thread for story time! This is a place for people to post interesting stories from their lives. They could be funny, they could be serious, they could have a moral, they could be about learning a huge life lesson. Really, the sky is the limit here.

Well go on, start sharing!!

See Below:

Azelma's Awesome Story About The First Time He Tried to Get Laid:
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Okay, so I have only shared this with a select few IRL, but looking back on it, it was so epic, it must be told.


So I was a Junior in High School, my girlfriend at the time was a Sophomore. I was still a virgin, as was she. We'd been dating for like a year and a half...and we finally decided to "do the deed"

So, since parents are all over-protective, we couldn't just go to one of our houses and start banging...we had to say we were going to my High School's basketball game, and then leave. I remember buying the condoms...most nerve racking awkward thing in my life....or so I thought.

Anyway, we go to the basketball game, and end up leaving a little before halftime. We go to my car, and I drive us to a deserted parking lot in a park across the street (first mistake).

It was february by the way, and very snowy.

So me and my girl start making out/fooling around/ stripping down. By the way, we are in the back seat of my 1987 oldsmobile...not exactly the most roomy thing. Well, we decide it's time. Next thing you know, I'm cramming a helmit on my soldier and trying to do this chick.

What do you think happens next? That's right...nerves, excitement, etc...I just can't keep it up. Just won't go in. F A I L. After several minutes of bad penetration attempts, I give up and she's like "it's okay" and starts going to fellatio town on me.

By this time, the windows are all fogged up, and I'm like...well I didn't lose my virginity, but I'm still getting my nut, so it's not a bad night....boy was I wrong.

Just as I'm about to climax (literally), I notice headlights shine...lighting up everything outside of the car. Next thing you know...obligatory TAP TAP TAP on the window...yeah it's a flashlight...yeah, it's the police.

I'm naked, she's naked, (oh yea I was 17 she was 15), so we frantically throw our clothes back on....get out, and the cops separated us. The one asked if she was in my car voluntarily...she was pretty freaked out and didn't say anything for a bit until the cop was like "you need to respond or we will have to take you in." (I'm just thinking...OMG respond i'm not a rapist!)

Yeah, they let us off the hook, didn't call the parents...just gave us the safe sex talk etc. But it was a crazy evening.

On a related note...I didn't end up losing my virginity to this girl for two more years (when I was 19, and a freshman in college). An event like that will scare you away from sex for a while.

THE END.

...

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

I don't think you're the one who needs help getting laid.

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

I've only been with one other person other than that girl (who I dated for 5 years). So I'm no Don Juan.

If it's being like Juan you want, I can teach you.

That's not a bad thing, per say, to each their own.

wow, now i feel like a man whore. THANKS AZELMA!!!!!!!

this is like the craziest thing that's ever happened to me. i was driving to a music store, stopped at a stop light, im sitting there waiting for green and im a couple cars back. the light turns green and no one is moving. people start honking and everything and im thinking, "what the hell is going on?? it better not be some girl putting on make up!" well, so i stick my head out the window and i can't see anything, but all the cars on all four sides have stopped. EVERYONE is honking. i sit there for 2 more light rotations. finally, i see people getting out of their cars to see what is going on, so i do it to. i look at the intersection and there is a small boy, probably 3 or 4, just squatted in the middle of intersection drawing on the pavement with chalk. everyone is honking and screaming, but he is just drawing his little pictures and seemingly humming to himself. i just couldn't figure out how the hell this could have possibly happened. so, im standing there with my car door half open and The Shins blaring out all my windows and im staring at this little boy and he is just drawing, bathed in pavement reflected sunlight. he has sandals and red shorts and a little spiderman t-shirt. his brown hands were multi-colored and dusty from the chalk and he was completely oblivious to everything that was going on around him. he was so perfect. it was the most perfect thing ive ever seen. it made me feel like, his life had purpose and he was doing his duty in this world. his duty was to stop the noise and pollution of quick transportation to show us all that life can be simple, and life can be beautiful. it was amazing. anyway, after another minute or so of me being just completely entranced by this child, a woman screaming in spanish ran into the middle of the street and picked him up like one would snatch a rare orchid: carefully, but without mercy. she carried him off to safety and set him down on the sidewalk. she put his face in her hands and said things i could neither hear, nor understand. she took the chalk out of his hand and threw it in the gutter. that part, i saw in almost slow motion. it seemed so symbolic. she picked him up and walked away briskly. the look on his face as he peered over his mother's shoulder was so innocent and beautiful. he had no idea what he'd done. he just liked to draw.

this was the day my camera needs to charge. bah!

although, i can't help but think that some moments are like birds, they are not meant to be captured and imprisoned within the parameters of a glossy border or a computer screen. they aren't meant to be digitized and pasted everywhichway. moments like those are personal. they are just meant to be cherished and remembered.

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

I don't like Mayonnaise. I think he's a complete asshole and the worst possible moderator for these forums. I'm allowed to say this because nothing is censored here.

I enjoyed American Beauty too. How does this fit into Story Time though??

eat my balls. IT WAS STORY TIME DON'T JUDGE ME.

Oh now I get it!

Don't worry, i liked your story with the symbolism etc.

i was invoking the image not mocking you =P

I don't like Mayonnaise. I think he's a complete asshole and the worst possible moderator for these forums. I'm allowed to say this because nothing is censored here.