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Here is a story not quite about me, but I wrote it.

People sometimes look at the stories of a haggard war veteran as repetitive, they hear the same story over and over again throughout and think them boring. They forget what its like to hear the story for the first time, they forget how interesting the story is, they forget the trials and tribulations of our nations heroes. My father tells one particular story to me every so often.
“I was in Vietnam, stationed in Bien Hoa in 1970”, he always begins, “and one time I was ordered to pull guard duty.” I asked him what was guard duty like “Guard duty is about as boring as you can get. You get three guys including you, and you basically sit there for ten hours, maybe more just looking out and waiting. Now our bunker was sort of in a back area, not quite in the bush, but a little bit out of the way.”
“Anyway” he continues “I got assigned duty, and I was sitting on an empty 55 gallon drum with my two buddies. I had my m60 machine gun in front of me, and I'm just sitting there, life is fine. All of a sudden I hear this 'Thump'”. The 'Thump' is very important, although the story may change slightly each time its told the 'Thump' always stays the same. “I look out in front of me, and there's this small explosion of dirt . Now one of the things you are taught is to watch which way the dirt goes after explosions and bullet impacts” I ask him why he watches the dirt? “ 'cause that will tell you the way the shot came from.” he continues. “So the dirt was going from my right to my left. I thought “well that's strange, the only thing over there is another bunker”. 'Thump', I hear it again, again more dirt flying. By now the three of us are looking out wide eyed to see what the hell is going on. Was all hell about break loose? Third time again, 'Thump', this could be serious. So I stick my head out just a bit and look in the direction it came from.”
“Right across the road I see three guys laughing hysterically from the other bunker. I quickly piece together whats happened. So I move the m60 machine gun out to the right, and I pop a couple rounds off over their heads. Instantly they dive into their bunker. That was when I proceed to blow the shit out of their bunker, I mean I really rip this thing apart. I stopped, next thing I hear is a couple rounds going over us and I go “Oh shit, here it comes”; and they proceed to blow the shit out of our bunker. We're up against the wall, trying to become as small as possible to make sure we don't get killed.”
Well we do this once or twice. The radios are screaming trying figure out who is taking rounds, and where its coming from. Finally we both come out together, and the three of them are laughing hysterically, the three of us are are laughing hysterically. The six of us are just falling down laughing. Then this lieutenant speeds up in a jeep screaming “Whats going on! Whats going on!”. I was the senior NCO in my bunker the other guy was the NCO in his bunker, so we just threw the first bullshit explanation we could out there. “All hell broke loose for a couple minutes, we don't know if we've driven them off or what.” The whole base was on edge for the rest of the night. I asked him why they destroyed two bunkers. He looked at me grinning and said “We were bored” .

One time, many months ago, a young Necrachilles set out to put an end to the tyranny that was Aestu.

Aestu, after making several posts slandering the good name that is Miller Time, offered a beat down to anyone in Miller Time who would meet him in Wintergrasp at Glacial Falls. I, Necrachilles, decided to take on the burden of the title Miller Time and face this fiend head on. I flew into Wintergrasp and went off the grid a few clicks from Aestu's location. Sneaking up I assessed the hostile. Clearly a protection paladin with a fair amount of health. I decided a bleed approach would be best. I threw a small pebble(I carry them around in large amounts for just this occasion) which distracted the brute long enough for me to creep into an optimal garotting postion. A cool breeze rushed in as I made my move, quickly following up with a cold blooded dual dagger attack and a hasty rupture. I then vanished and retreated into the shadows and watched as my foe tried to take in what was going on.

Assuming the offensive once more, I opened with a cheap shot, countinuing my assult, followed up with a kidney punch. Bringing my full power to bear on the heathen's backside, I hit him with a some dirt, blinding him temporarily. As he wondered around confused and lost, I took this chance to slip once more into the shadows. As you can assume, this goes on for a good 30 minutes. Finally, I eviscerated my opponent and as I stood over his lifeless body, I sucked in the sweet air of freedom. Mankind is once again free from the grip of this tyrant. But how long could peace last? A rez timer is but only 30 seconds tops.

I looked to the horizon and saw Aestu and his fiery phoenix heading towards me. I smiled as I prepared for glory once more...








I took a screenshot of the first kill.


Leaving the filters because I think they make for a much better story!

Out one night with my two older step brothers. This was around my 21st. Now, both of my step brothers are your typical college kids, and also way better looking and social than I. It took a lot of convincing me to party with them. The music sucks, the atmosphere at the bars they go to sucks, everything f*cking sucks, I'm out of place at these kinds of things.

Anyway, we're boozing, and this is in St. Cloud, which is a college town. They're trying to get me to go be an idiot to a girl... I mean hit on a girl. Telling me to say this or say that, all of which was just mind blowingly corny sounding to me. But I finally get to the point where I'm drunk enough to try just about anything. Always preferred concerts and drinking games to bars and... that near seizure-like thing they claim is dancing.

I start talking to this one girl, probably one of those girls pretty girls bring along to boost their egos. Maybe it was beer goggles, but I thought she was pretty hot, and she also seemed out of place. She had a pinch of butch which I like. I don't remember what she was drinking, but it was darker, which probably meant it wasn't swill, and I opened with something related to what she was drinking.

Anyway, whatever corny bulls*it I may or may have not said worked, told my step bros "cya later", and I rode home with her. After being dropped by her friend that was the sober cab, we went into her house. We both were of same mindset, we're both looking to f*ck, nothing else to it or with it.

I'm not going to go into details, and those of you hoping for such are probably weirdos, but let's just say we were at the point of no clothing on. While fooling around, in her bedroom, we hear a noise. Now I just figure it was her dog (she had big, awesome German Shepard). The door then cracks open and I hear a voice. Something soft at first, then the light popped on.

Dude at the door: "WHAT THE F*CK?"
Me: "WHAT THE F*CK?"

Apparently, my little lady of the night had a man around. I don't know any of their story, but I suspect that they recently broke it off, or that she broke it off with him and he decided "no we're still together". I don't know. He was an averaged sized dude though, and I would have had no problem going toe to toe had I not been lit up like a Christmas tree. I knew I couldn't fight this guy, or even defend myself, and he was livid.

The obvious choice was to get the hell out of the lions den as fast as possible. I gathered all my stuff as quickly as I could, and scurried out of the house, responding to every yell from the dude with whatever would keep him from getting more angry. I did state in my haste I had no idea she was in a relationship. Now I'm outside, I b-line to behind some bushes of the next door neighbor as I STILL HAVE NO CLOTHES ON and am improvising a fig leaf with my clothes. Get dressed behind some bushes, trying to call my step brothers at the same time.

Can't get a hold of them, by now I'm dressed and walking down the street. I need not stay in the vicinity of that house. But I don't know where the in hell I am. I didn't drive here, I don't live in the area (or even close to it) and it's dark (like 1 in the morning).

I end up flagging down a cop that passes me, get a ride to the police station (he enjoyed the bits of the story I told him, he was also one of those cool cops), and get picked up ~45 minutes later by my dad, because he was the only one I could get a hold of. He thought he was going to have to bail me out initially.

haha NK you just reminded me. you would not believe some of the crazy shit we did in iraq/afghanistan because we were bored. i remember one time, we were on patrol somewhere in mosul and this guy speeds past us on a little yellow moped and opens fire while buzzing down the street. it was hilarious. this giant arab guy riding this tiny yellow moped. the funniest thing was, the kick from his AK sent his one arm flailing, sending the entire moped off balance. with one arm he's spraynpraying, while the other arm is desperately trying to stabilize his pathetic wobbly scooter. anyway, he ends up losing control, crashing into a dumpster and fires a few more rounds at us before someone in the squad dispatched him. i ran over to him, since i was a medic at the time and we're bound by the geneva convention to treat EPW. the guy was double-tapped so i didn't have anything to do. in any case, when shit like that happens you have to report it to higher up, wait for mortuary affairs to come pick up the body, etc. takes about 12-13 hours. meanwhile, you just sit there and "pull security". while i was taking a look at the guy, a 12-13 year old kid ran up. i thought he was gonna freak out about the dead body but he was more interested in the moped. he was going on and on in kurdish and i didn't know any and we only had an arabic translator so i sat there doing hand signals with him for awhile until i ascertained that he, or someone he knew owned tools and he'd be right back. i just assumed the kid would never come back and forgot about him. about 3 hours later, him and a few other 13-14 year olds came back in a pickup truck (WAY to young to drive, those pesky iraqis!) with a shitload of unnecessary tools. all the sudden it dawned on me, he wanted me to fix the moped. out of sheer boredom, i wheeled the semi-wrecked piece of shit back to my buddies, and a few of them were white trash truck types who i had no trouble convincing to fix it. all in all, it was a funny day, as we sat there, a squad of US Army infantrymen, 3 iraqi teenagers, and fixed this stupid yellow moped that had been used for such devious and ridiculous purposes only a few hours earlier. the day ended with us fixing the moped, his buddies driving away in the obviously stolen truck, and him tagging along behind them with his brand new yellow moped. i always hoped he used it for better purposes than it's previous owner.

Lol.

"Hey mister, is he dead?"
"Yeah."
"Can I have his moped?"

Meh. If they're not going to wear a uniform and make themselves known as an enemy combatants (until they attack) then I say they be dispatched and be treated outside the bounds of the Geneva Convention; aka. Let him rot in the ditch. I always thought the Geneva Convention counted towards countries, uniformed armies and uniformed militia.

I don't get what all the fuss is about. When I lost my virginity it just felt like my insides were stretched to their limit, I was sore for 2 days after. Did I become a man after that?

Pfft hahaha, this almost got past me.

"I didn't feel any...oh lol".

Sex is always really weird and awkward the first time. That's why it helps to do it with a girl who's also a virgin, that way she doesn't expect anything.

Worked for me ;]

If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
Shuruppak Yuratuhl
Slaad Shrpk Breizh

At least she told you she was a virgin, anyway.

girl?


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Well this is quite embarrassing.

the thought behind it, if you dont obey the laws, that makes your army no better than them. idk, my guys always double tapped.

I dunno. I had pretty high expectations my first time and was somewhat let down, but I think that's more disney than my guy.

no

you became a walrus

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