I've been a parent for two years

Quittermike · **Posted:** Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:14 pm

Eturnalshift wrote:

(That's my advice to all guys - don't wrap it up. It's really not that easy to knock a chick up.)

Why does it burn when I pee

Eturnalshift · **Posted:** Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:00 pm

Holding dick too close to the fire bro.

Usdk · **Posted:** Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:02 pm

or loose women.

Jubbergun · **Posted:** Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:40 pm

Honestly, if you're going to have them, start as soon as you can afford to do it. I waited too long, and cannot catch the little bastard if he runs.

Luckily, I set man-traps in the yard. He doesn't get far...but he's starting to figure out how to escape the traps.

Your Pal,
Jubber

quadtard · **Posted:** Sun Jun 06, 2010 10:13 pm

Please describe these "traps"

Lucinth · **Posted:** Sun Jun 06, 2010 10:15 pm

Jubbergun wrote:

Honestly, if you're going to have them, start as soon as you can afford to do it. I waited too long, and cannot catch the little bastard if he runs.

Luckily, I set man-traps in the yard. He doesn't get far...but he's starting to figure out how to escape the traps.

Your Pal,
Jubber

Every time Jubber posts, my respect, admiration and his rank on the list of people I want to be when I grow up improve, +1.

quadtard · **Posted:** Sun Jun 06, 2010 10:18 pm

Jubber really is too good. i rarely disagree with things he posts, esp since they consist of witticisms or aestu hate/poiting out aestu's dumbness

pohbear · **Posted:** Mon Jun 07, 2010 1:59 am

Jubbergun wrote:

Honestly, if you're going to have them, start as soon as you can afford to do it.

Thats what im waiting for to have my kid D:

Jubbergun · **Posted:** Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:57 am

quadtard wrote:

Jubber really is too good. i rarely disagree with things he posts, esp since they consist of witticisms or aestu hate/poiting out aestu's dumbness

But, but, but....I'M JUST A DUMBASS MEXICAN FORKLIFT ARTISTE, HOW COULD I HAS BRAINS FOR TO BE MAKE AESTU DUMB?????

Your Pal,
Jubber

PS: Don't feed the troll...or the guy who will be a troll when they open up the race change.

Battletard · **Posted:** Mon Jun 07, 2010 4:58 am

Replying to various posts:

Quote:

So if I have a kid, I'm going to adopt.

Adopting is FTW. There are a lot of children out there deserving of a good home.

Quote:

wait, theyre b-day is 2day?

They are birthday was June 5th. Today was their party. There.

U c wat I did thar?

(ITT: All 4 usages of they're, their, there and lolcat's thar. Rikki would be proud of how far I've come)

Quote:

My first is due on Dec 24. Don't know the gender... but we're both mad excited. Imma be a daddy. <3

Unsolicited advice inc:

Prepare for a severe drought in sexlife.

Buy a shit ton of stuff secondhand.

What you must buy new, priority is everything.

Don't talk shit about Total, and don't let people talk shit about your parenting, either.

Every parent is different, there are no 'rules'. There are however, plenty of child psychiatrists who have written mountains of books about their experiences. Do your own thing, we all know what children of shrinks are like.

Invest in a good camera.

Quote:

Depends on how good your swimmers are prolly

The one great thing about life is that no matter how much of a pasty faced nerd, fuckup, idiot, whatever anyone is...we all won first place at something

Boredalt · **Posted:** Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:36 am

Eturnalshift wrote:

(That's my advice to all guys - don't wrap it up. It's really not that easy to knock a chick up.)

This is terrible, terrible advice. LOL! I got my wife pregnant just thinking about having sex. I have 3 kids. I had my first two very young. My wife and I gave up a lot becoming parents at such young ages... BUT... I could chase them down, play with them vigorously, and remember what it was like the be "that age". Still, I wouldn't recommend what I did, at all. Getting married at 17 and 18 just doesn't work, usually.

As for kids, they are resilient as hell. You really have to work at it to mess them up. All you have to do is love them, guide them the best you know how, teach them to take responsibility for their actions, discipline them without abusing them, and most of all, PAY ATTENTION TO THEM! And, another thing... give yourself a break. You can do all of those things and shit still happens. As long as you do the best you can, you are not to blame when your kid fucks up.

Yarl · **Posted:** Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:40 am

Kamguh wrote:

Depends on how good your swimmers are prolly

This

Eturnalshift · **Posted:** Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:09 am

Battletard wrote:

Unsolicited advice inc:

Prepare for a severe drought in sexlife.

Buy a shit ton of stuff secondhand.

What you must buy new, priority is everything.

Don't talk shit about Total, and don't let people talk shit about your parenting, either.

Every parent is different, there are no 'rules'. There are however, plenty of child psychiatrists who have written mountains of books about their experiences. Do your own thing, we all know what children of shrinks are like.

Invest in a good camera.

1) Drought in sexlife? That's what hands are for, mirite?

Funny story: After I was born, the nurse was telling my parents that they couldn't have sex for however many weeks or months it was. My mom laughed at my dad. The nurse laughed at my mom. "There are more than one way to skin that cat.", the nurse said.

2) What is Total?

3) Camera is covered - We got a Canon Rebel XSi with one of those telescopic ultra-zoom lenses. Zoom in and see shit particles on diapers kinda zoom.

Quote:

The one great thing about life is that no matter how much of a pasty faced nerd, fuckup, idiot, whatever anyone is...we all won first place at something

I shit you not - I have a trophy for this that my dad made. I'll post pictures of it tonight.

Battletard · **Posted:** Mon Jun 07, 2010 10:03 am

Regarding Total:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08ZxZ4GSSnE[/youtube]

Also, your Dad sounds awesome.

Congrats on your kid!

Eturnalshift · **Posted:** Mon Jun 07, 2010 10:09 am

Thanks, and congrats on your lil' ones birthdays.

As they say, "Welcome to the terrible twos"...(squared)...

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I've been a parent for two years

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