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Azelma
 Post subject: Why I Hate Twilight and You Should Too
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:10 pm  
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Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 8:41 am
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So, I noticed our forum has a new title, which made me lul. This is my twilight hate thread...please feel free to post in it. However, if you like Twilight (I assume most everyone here doesn't, because you are all reasonably intelligent and not horny 13 year old girls) GTFO.

Why I Hate Twilight:

The Books:

1. Terrible writing. Just awful. I tried to read a chapter because my little sister was raving about it. Oh boy...I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Stephanie Meyer literally cannot write for shit. She does what I call, "thesaurus rape" which is where she jams as many adjectives and "smart sounding" words into sentences. Dumb teens think this makes her a good writer, smart people know this means she's a dumbass.

2. Terrible characters: "Bella" is the worst character ever written. You know what her character flaw is? She's clumsy. Terrible. All the guys in town want to get into her pants. Stephanie Meyer has written about herself and made her own little sick fantasy world.

3. Vampires don't "sparkle" in the sunlight. That's fucking lame.

4. Stephanie Meyer - She's a Mormon ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_ ... t_movement ). The books themselves are a platform for fundamentalist bullshit. Abstinence crap.

5. Racism - Mormons have a history of racism ( http://www.i4m.com/think/history/mormon_racism.htm ). The only black character in the story is an evil ass vampire....are you serious?

6. Setting women back 100 years (or so) - Look, I'm not a feminist or anything, but seriously. Bella drops everything and is hopelessly in love with the Edward queer. And she is the quintessential damsel in distress who is clumsy and has to have her vamp boy save her from everything. All she does is mope. Girls find this shit interesting? Wow.

The Movies:

1. They are based on the books...so add in all of the above complaints

2. Worst. Acting. Ever. - Kristen Stewart can't act. Seriously, all she does is mope and sigh. Wait, that's everyone in that damn movie.

3. The fans...I had the unfortunate situation of working at a movie theatre when the last movie came out (before I graduated college...a mere 6 months ago). The fans...oh the fans. Pubescent teenie boppers who are morons wearing "Team Jacob" shirts. And their mothers....oh their mothers. Creepy 40 year old obese women obsessing over Robert Pattinson....it makes me sick. This is society people. This is what makes money. People spend MONEY for this shit.

4. Can you believe it won a bunch of "awards" from MTV? Wait...scratch that....I can believe it. I hate society.

Okay, I'm sufficiently angry. Twilight needs to go die in a fire and anyone who thinks it's good literature or film should be beaten severely and then sterilized.

Azelma

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Last edited by Azelma on Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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dek
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:14 pm  
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Pinheaded Pissant
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:29 pm
Posts: 1515
Location: Boston, MA
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of course vampires sparkle in the sunlight.

the combustion process (to whichever degree you ascribe) certainly gives off sparkles as they die.

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Akina: bitch I will stab you in the face
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Lucinth
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:15 pm  
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Stupid Schlemiel
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:39 pm
Posts: 1942
Location: California
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dek wrote:
of course vampires sparkle in the sunlight.

the combustion process (to whichever degree you ascribe) certainly gives off sparkles as they die.


And it all goes horribly wrong when they don't die.
And here we are.

A man chooses, a slave obeys.
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Yuratuhl
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:15 pm  
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French Faggot
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 1:15 pm
Posts: 5227
Location: New Jersey
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The rifftrax of the films almost make them worth it.

If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
Shuruppak Yuratuhl
Slaad Shrpk Breizh
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Azelma
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:18 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 8:41 am
Posts: 4695
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Yuratuhl wrote:
The rifftrax of the films almost make them worth it.


In the end of the second film, it fades to black after Edward says to Bella "Marry Me."

Working in the theatre, before you clean it, you have to go in at the credits, wait for everyone to leave, then start cleaning.

The amount of gasps, sighs, and schoolgirl giggles I heard at this point (multiple times....after every damn show) made me lose less and less faith in the future of humanity.

Azelma

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Weena
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:25 pm  
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Fat Bottomed Faggot
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:53 pm
Posts: 4251
Location: Minnesota
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Image

THIS

THIS IS A VAMPIRE

Image

THIS IS ALSO A VAMPIRE

Image

THIS IS NOT

BAD, BAD, VERY BAD TRANSFORMATION

SEXY VAMPIRES = OK

VAMPIRES THAT LOSE ALL SCARINESS = NOT OK

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE

"Ok we aren't such things and birds are pretty advanced. They fly and shit from anywhere they want. While we sit on our automatic toilets, they're shitting on people and my car while a cool breeze tickles their anus. That's the life."
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Azelma
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:29 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 8:41 am
Posts: 4695
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Image

Azelma

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Lucinth
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:32 pm  
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Stupid Schlemiel
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:39 pm
Posts: 1942
Location: California
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The only good thing that came from the Twilight movies, as far as I've seen.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPhr-BVi-7g
[/youtube]

A man chooses, a slave obeys.
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Yarl
 Post subject: Re: Why I Hate Twilight and You Should Too
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:35 pm  
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Twittering Twat
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 7:52 pm
Posts: 240
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Azelma wrote:
So, I noticed our forum has a new title, which made me lul. This is my twilight hate thread...please feel free to post in it. However, if you like Twilight (I assume most everyone here doesn't, because you are all reasonably intelligent and not horny 13 year old girls) GTFO.

Why I Hate Twilight:

The Books:

1. Terrible writing. Just awful. I tried to read a chapter because my little sister was raving about it. Oh boy...I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Stephanie Meyer literally cannot write for shit. She does what I call, "thesaurus rape" which is where she jams as many adjectives and "smart sounding" words into sentences. Dumb teens think this makes her a good writer, smart people know this means she's a dumbass.

2. Terrible characters: "Bella" is the worst character ever written. You know what her character flaw is? She's clumsy. Terrible. All the guys in town want to get into her pants. Stephanie Meyer has written about herself and made her own little sick fantasy world.

3. Vampires don't "sparkle" in the sunlight. That's fucking lame.

4. Stephanie Meyer - She's a Mormon ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_ ... t_movement ). The books themselves are a platform for fundamentalist bullshit. Abstinence crap.

5. Racism - Mormons have a history of racism ( http://www.i4m.com/think/history/mormon_racism.htm ). The only black character in the story is an evil ass vampire....are you serious?

6. Setting women back 100 years (or so) - Look, I'm not a feminist or anything, but seriously. Bella drops everything and is hopelessly in love with the Edward queer. And she is the quintessential damsel in distress who is clumsy and has to have her vamp boy save her from everything. All she does is mope. Girls find this shit interesting? Wow.

The Movies:

1. They are based on the books...so add in all of the above complaints

2. Worst. Acting. Ever. - Kristen Stewart can't act. Seriously, all she does is mope and sigh. Wait, that's everyone in that damn movie.

3. The fans...I had the unfortunate situation of working at a movie theatre when the last movie came out (before I graduated college...a mere 6 months ago). The fans...oh the fans. Pubescent teenie boppers who are morons wearing "Team Jacob" shirts. And their mothers....oh their mothers. Creepy 40 year old obese women obsessing over Robert Pattinson....it makes me sick. This is society people. This is what makes money. People spend MONEY for this shit.

4. Can you believe it won a bunch of "awards" from MTV? Wait...scratch that....I can believe it. I hate society.

Okay, I'm sufficiently angry. Twilight needs to go die in a fire and anyone who thinks it's good literature or film should be beaten severely and then sterilized.


right yer own book den mister
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Azelma
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:37 pm  
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Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 8:41 am
Posts: 4695
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Yeah that's one of the most offensive things about Twilight...they actually get some decent artists to work on their soundtracks (Death Cab, Muse, Unkle, Paramore, OK Go, The Killers, Thom Yorke, etc..)

Kinda depressing really.

Quote:
right yer own book den mister


How do you know I'm not already doing so? ;)

Seriously, if that shit can get published.....

Azelma

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Battletard
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:39 pm  
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Str8 Actin Dude
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 3:33 pm
Posts: 2988
Location: Frederick, Maryland
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OMGOGM DROOL

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Brawlsack

Taking an extended hiatus from gaming
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Battletard
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:40 pm  
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Str8 Actin Dude
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 3:33 pm
Posts: 2988
Location: Frederick, Maryland
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Azelma wrote:

How do you know I'm not already doing so? ;)


Can I be in your book?

Brawlsack

Taking an extended hiatus from gaming
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Azelma
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:45 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Wed May 12, 2010 8:41 am
Posts: 4695
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Battletard wrote:
Azelma wrote:

How do you know I'm not already doing so? ;)


Can I be in your book?


Show me a truly memorable/unique/book-worthy personality and I could give you your own inspired character :D

Azelma

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dek
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:08 pm  
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Pinheaded Pissant
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:29 pm
Posts: 1515
Location: Boston, MA
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Image

Image

Akina: bitch I will stab you in the face
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Needhelp
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:11 pm  
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Obtuse Oaf
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 3:57 pm
Posts: 838
Location: San Antonio, Texas.
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I wish I could just take a gun and shoot every little Twilight fan I see at the movies. They were standing there in line for almost five hours. It's almost as bad as the Apple fans.

Also when they get mad when you call any of those movies in the series just "Twilight" "OMG it's not Twilight, it's Eclipse you ruhtard!" Suck my dick, bitch.

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