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How do I make my dorm network not god awful :3

You don't. Universities don't like giving students good internets, coz of teh pirates.

wait 2 weeks until classes are in full session and people have less time to dick off.

also, be a bit more specific as to what part's shitty.

2k ms in wow is pretty shitty
and I'm still confused that my wireless connection is by far better than the ethernet connection o.o

I'm going to dinner, but do me a favor and run a command prompt and type:

c:\
tracert www.yahoo.com > out1.txt
tracert www.blizzard.com > out2.txt
tracert www.microsoft.com > out3.txt
tracert www.cnn.com > out4.txt
tracert us.logon.battle.net > out5.txt
tracert 206.18.98.208 > out6.txt

then post them.