You are the gatekeeper...

Tehra · **Posted:** Sat Nov 13, 2010 5:02 pm

Yuratuhl wrote:

Death speaks in small caps and is generally a pleasant guy.

Quote:

REMIND ME AGAIN, he said, HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE.

Quote:

YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?
"Yes. Yes, of course."
Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.

Boredalt · **Posted:** Sat Nov 13, 2010 5:15 pm

Yuratuhl wrote:

Death speaks in small caps and is generally a pleasant guy.

Tuhl, did you ever read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak? Although the level is probably early High School, it is still a good, quick read. The entire story is narrated by Death.

Dotzilla · **Posted:** Sat Nov 13, 2010 5:43 pm

Eddie: What happens if we come to a place where the track is gone?

Blaine: AT EIGHT HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR? SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR, AFTER A WHILE, CROCODILE. DON'T FORGET TO WRITE.

Yuratuhl · **Posted:** Sat Nov 13, 2010 7:15 pm

Boredalt wrote:

Yuratuhl wrote:

Death speaks in small caps and is generally a pleasant guy.

Tuhl, did you ever read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak? Although the level is probably early High School, it is still a good, quick read. The entire story is narrated by Death.

I didn't, but if I find the time, I'll try to check it out.

Jubbergun · **Posted:** Sat Nov 13, 2010 9:51 pm

Dotzilla wrote:

Eddie: What happens if we come to a place where the track is gone?

Blaine: AT EIGHT HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR? SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR, AFTER A WHILE, CROCODILE. DON'T FORGET TO WRITE.

Thanks for reminding me that nearly twenty years of reading a series of books turned into a monumental waste of fucking time with the publication of the Mr. King's Greatest Abortion.

I think it is fitting that the train is the part where everything started to go off the tracks.

Your Pal,
Jubber

Weena · **Posted:** Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:52 pm

Yuratuhl wrote:

Death speaks in small caps and is generally a pleasant guy.

Why can I not recall what books you are referring to.

Akiina wrote:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Again, the first part of that sounds familiar, but I don't know what it's from.

This may be due to spending a number of hours today trying to get my fucking screen to work and my head is partially imploded.

rikkilake · **Posted:** Sat Nov 13, 2010 11:50 pm

Boredalt wrote:

rikkilake wrote:

but doesn't the afterlife imply death? you don't go to an afterlife when you're still alive.

Physical death, yes. You, as gatekeeper, get to decide who of those queued before you have earned passage, and are worthy, of a level up.

The ones you deny would simply blink out, OR, go back to try again if you prefer the Hindu version. The question is: What would make them worthy, in your eyes?

when judging someone based upon their life, things they did or did not do are often based upon what is available to them; you can't blame someone for not stopping a murder when they were unarmed and the assailant had guns. even to create situations where they do have the resources necessary to act in a heroic way, there is always the possibility that they could simply freeze under the pressure or further surrender to the bystander effect.
the most effective way would simply to right click and select View Page Source and look through there to find out what they're truly like on the inside, however, i think i could be far more creative than that. i think what i would do would be to create a fictional world where they are in charge. whether i would make them a world leader or a deity, i'm not sure, but i would give them absolute power and see how they use it. do they bring about world peace and equality for all? grats, you're getting oral sex for the rest of eternity. do they oppress certain groups/ideas and rule with a cruel, iron-fist? grats, you're spending all of eternity listening to 4th grade recorder recitals.
additionally, i probably wouldn't actually make people to suffer for all of eternity. i would certainly allow for redemption so that they, too, may rest

Dotzilla · **Posted:** Sun Nov 14, 2010 1:33 am

Jubbergun wrote:

Dotzilla wrote:

Eddie: What happens if we come to a place where the track is gone?

Blaine: AT EIGHT HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR? SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR, AFTER A WHILE, CROCODILE. DON'T FORGET TO WRITE.

Thanks for reminding me that nearly twenty years of reading a series of books turned into a monumental waste of fucking time with the publication of the Mr. King's Greatest Abortion.

I think it is fitting that the train is the part where everything started to go off the tracks.

Your Pal,
Jubber

you must be one of the simpleton masses who couldn't get over the ending. frankly, i would rather have not known what was in the tower at all and he only put that separate ending + epilogue in to satisfy people who can't grasp abstract literary concepts, such as the unknown.

also, how can you possibly say the series went off the tracks at #3? wizard and glass was his greatest work. period. song of susannah was meh, but wolves of the calla was fucking epic, and every part of the final book was amazing. you're just mad everyone dies and it's not all happy go-lucky. the series took the man 35 years to write. his views were likely to change.

Yuratuhl · **Posted:** Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:21 am

Weena wrote:

Yuratuhl wrote:

Death speaks in small caps and is generally a pleasant guy.

Why can I not recall what books you are referring to.

Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.

Akiina's poem is by John Donne, a 16th/17th century English poet.

Boredalt · **Posted:** Sun Nov 14, 2010 12:19 pm

rikkilake wrote:

when judging someone based upon their life, things they did or did not do are often based upon what is available to them;

I would think you'd be looking for how they handled the things they had control over, but hey, it's your gate!

rikkilake wrote:

grats, you're getting oral sex for the rest of eternity

I almost could not continue reading after this.

rikkilake wrote:

additionally, i probably wouldn't actually make people to suffer for all of eternity. i would certainly allow for redemption so that they, too, may rest

So, Groundhog Day?

Tehra · **Posted:** Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:07 pm

Boredalt wrote:

rikkilake wrote:

grats, you're getting oral sex for the rest of eternity

I almost could not continue reading after this.

Reread knowing that no one has ever gotten me off via that "reward". Perhaps door #2 is worth exploring...? I kid, I kid. Besides, eternity ends eventually.

Boredalt wrote:

So, Groundhog Day?

"Never again..."
When you're 3 & 0 in the world's series, you only need to win one more time, anyway.

Jubbergun · **Posted:** Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:49 pm

Dotzilla wrote:

Jubbergun wrote:

Dotzilla wrote:

Eddie: What happens if we come to a place where the track is gone?

Blaine: AT EIGHT HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR? SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR, AFTER A WHILE, CROCODILE. DON'T FORGET TO WRITE.

Thanks for reminding me that nearly twenty years of reading a series of books turned into a monumental waste of fucking time with the publication of the Mr. King's Greatest Abortion.

I think it is fitting that the train is the part where everything started to go off the tracks.

Your Pal,
Jubber

you must be one of the simpleton masses who couldn't get over the ending. frankly, i would rather have not known what was in the tower at all and he only put that separate ending + epilogue in to satisfy people who can't grasp abstract literary concepts, such as the unknown.

also, how can you possibly say the series went off the tracks at #3? wizard and glass was his greatest work. period. song of susannah was meh, but wolves of the calla was fucking epic, and every part of the final book was amazing. you're just mad everyone dies and it's not all happy go-lucky. the series took the man 35 years to write. his views were likely to change.

You're talking to entirely the wrong person about literary concepts. The whole thing turned to crap. All the lead-up to Mordred, who isn't even developed as any sort of character, and what's the climax? Hey, I'll just shoot my spider kid and he'll die. Epic.

Everybody dies is fine. Even bad writers like Hemingway (who wrote specifically for the "dumb masses" of which you speak) could pull it off (For Whom the Bell Tolls, anyone?).

The ending was a cop-out. The guy that was supposed to be the main villain shows up for...six pages?...at the end of the last book, and what's the resolution? Oh, this retarded kid is going to erase him off paper. Wow, why didn't I think of that? Probably because I wasn't rushing what I had been working on as my master opus because I was afraid I'd die before I finished it.

But hey, I'll convince every simpering fop who thinks he knows books that I'm being all vauge and unliteral while talking about the American collective unconcious and stuff...by throwing in Wizard of Oz references. Or hey, maybe, just maybe, to tip off the people who actually do read for a reason other than to brag about it at parties as if they're some sophisticated intellectual, I'll pretend I'm in the third grade and write myself into the story. Man, that'll get those pretentious wanna be literature professors making up all kinds of new adjectives to explain how metaphysical I'm being here.

I'll grant that Song and Wolves were good...but after reading that last bit, and looking back: Crap Sandwich.

Your Pal,
Jubber

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