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wow stop talking about the shitty mushrooms and talk about the magic ones.
trips are kind of hard to explain, i can't explain the emotions and all the feelings you get with it. its really something that you just have to experience on your own. the last trip i had (winter break 09) i guess i will say started off pretty good and came off as one of my freakish trips, but still very interesting. i ate about 3-3.5gs of some very potent shit. i started feeling it 45 minutes in and was in the bathroom looking at the mirror. I was probably staring at myself for 20-30 minutes. I remember thinking that I had the ability to be whatever i wanted to be in life, and it was going to happen. I said what i said and remember just shaking. i just thought in my head, "wow did that actually work?" i'm thinking maybe i just aligned myself in a different universe if it did. well all is good, i'm feeling good and everything has a mystical feeling to it. I go outside to look at the stars, but start freaking out a bit because i was hearing something out there that just didnt sound wrong so i run inside.
i went to my room and i dont remember exactly how it all happened but i remember coming to a realization that i was dead. at the moment i realized this, my minifridge made a noise as it was going off, i had got an IM and the status icon blinking, a freight train was passing in the background and the horn sounded louder than ever and I was hearing knocks coming from somewhere. The worst part of all was that I had metallica's end of the line playing and the part of the song that was repeating was "you have reached the end of the line." All this just convinced me that the world was telling me that I finally figured it out that I was dead, i was freaking the fuck out (note also that i'm home alone unable to have anyone calm me down, i'm just tripping harder).
I ended up walking outside barefooted, in shorts and a tshirt in some cold ass weather but i didnt care. i ended up convinced now that everyone knew i was dead now. as i was outside i felt that these entities were just watching me and laughing it was like i was on video and everything that was happening was just a tape that was being played. So, after some yelling and a lot of embarassing shit that up to this day nobody has seen. I see some christmas lights down the street, but since i'm trippin my ass off this shit definitely looks like the fucking LIGHT. So, i'm thinking, "oh shit, this is it I have to leave now." So i start walking toward the light, but I catch myself halfway and just think to myself how did i die? I say fuck this and say I'm not leaving until i find out and go back inside my house. I start to remember that I ate the shrooms and try to calm myself down and that I will come back to reality eventually and just need to think happy thoughts. This works for a while but I eventually lose myself again. Blah blah blah a lot of back and forth shit but I eventually get tired and walk back up to my room turn on call of duty to get my mind off this death shit.
I dont play but just sit on my floor thinking about a lot of things. now the horn from the train in the background has been around all this time and it's been talking to me and answering my questions the whole night. i'm just sitting there coming to realizations of all kinds of shit. piecing together events that have happened and seeing the connection between everything. anyway i lay in my bed and close my eyes (OH SHIT).
i see this insane complex figure, it was like a machine or something. it's talking to me and i'm a part of it. all these other beings are a part of it too. we're all apart of this cycle. i can't even start to explain what was going on with this thing. the thing is talking to me and its explaining things to me about control and synchronization. i don't know but it definitely started calling me stupid and all these other entities started laughing at me. i told them to shut up and they all seemed scared and they most definitely did stop laughing. i felt these entities knew more than i did but i was somehow in charge. i felt as if i was in charge of the world now. everyone had the same level of conscious understanding. my roomate comes home now and i instantly start coming down that complexity is gone and i cant get it back. i decide to test this idea of understanding with him and my "death". all i asked him was, "do you know?" and he said "yeah."
it was such a crazy trip and i constantly think about it. oh and during the trip i remember looking at my carpet and seeing ALL THESE THINGS crawling around! I had never seen some shit like that before and I couldnt tell if they were real or not, but since then i had these little ants (but they dont even look like ants) crawling around my desk. I thought there had to be a source but never found one. they have stopped appearing as of october though.
Learn the difference!  |
