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I am really at a loss for what to say in this letter other than to convey my shock. The points I plan to make in this letter will sound tediously familiar to everyone who wants to present another paradigm in opposition to Paddy Wack's bad-tempered solutions. Nevertheless, he wonders why everyone hates him. Apparently, he never stopped to think that maybe it's because he makes it sound like he's the best thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread. That's the rankest sort of pretense I've ever heard. The reality is that Paddy's protégés remain largely silent when asked about the correlative connecting Paddy to isolationism. The rare times they do deign to comment they invariably skew the issue to prevent people from realizing that a person who wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of his/her actions. Paddy has never had that faculty. He always does what he wants to do at the moment and figures he'll be able to lie himself out of any problems that arise.
It may not be within the scope of this letter to encourage people to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth, but I would like to mention that Paddy is totally gung-ho about lexiphanicism because he lacks more pressing soapbox issues. He has an uncanny knack for making evil appear good and good appear evil. More than that, I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while Paddy still has the ability to paint pictures of lackadaisical worlds inhabited by cacodemonic quidnuncs. He claims that masochism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. I, however, feel that that's a load of crud. Yes, the only way that we can fight him, the only way we can beat him, is to offer true constructive criticism—listening to the whole issue, recognizing the problems, recognizing what is being done right, and getting involved to help remedy the problem—but my current plan is to win the culture war and save this country. Yes, Paddy will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but what I find frightening is that some academics actually believe his line that he is clean and bright and pure inside. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that Paddy likes to cite poll results that "prove" that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that Paddy claims that there won't be any blowback from his reducing history to an overdetermined, wireframe sketch of what are, in reality, complex, dynamic events. I respond that he can't imagine life without boosterism.
Paddy is out to use psychological tools to trick us into doing whatever he requires of us. And when we play his game, we become accomplices. I once told some of his idolators that they should champion the poor and oppressed against the evil of Paddy Wack. Not surprisingly, their response suggested the enthusiasm of a man feeding on a diet of sand. That's why you and I need to maintain the great principles of virtue, truth, right, and honor. Only then will people see that I once overheard him say something quite astonishing. Are you strapped in? He said that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately spiteful. Can you believe that? At least his statement made me realize that if he hadn't been altering, amending, abridging, and censoring the record to point the finger of responsibility at others, it simply would not have occurred to me to write the letter you now are reading. Why, I might have taken the day off altogether. Or maybe I would have been out pursuing virtue and knowledge. In any case, Paddy is more than ignorant. He's mega-ignorant. In fact, to understand just how ignorant Paddy is, you first need to realize that many people have witnessed him make soporific, empty-headed sods out to be something they're not. Paddy generally insists that his witnesses are mistaken and blames his disrespectful activities on profligate ivory-tower academics. It's like he has no-fault insurance against personal responsibility. What's more, Paddy often argues that his churlish, mephitic Praetorian Guard is a respected civil-rights organization. A similar argument was first made over 1200 years ago by a well-known hatemonger and was quickly disproved. In those days, however, no one would have doubted that Paddy's anecdotes are pugnacious in theory and lamebrained in practice. Well, that's another story. To get back to my main point, I ought to mention that I wonder if Paddy really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how Paddy's most progressive idea is to traffic in our blood, our birthright, and our security. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. To end on a more positive note: Corruption, lying, and hypocrisy are the fundaments of Paddy Wack's taradiddles. In short, the assessment he as falsely ascertained about me making short quips in threads is entirely untrue and these conniving actions reflect the character of Paddy Wack.
"Ok we aren't such things and birds are pretty advanced. They fly and shit from anywhere they want. While we sit on our automatic toilets, they're shitting on people and my car while a cool breeze tickles their anus. That's the life."
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