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 Post subject: The Roman Hannukah Story
PostPosted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 8:33 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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This was a story I learned in my Classical History course, and I found it very interesting...

As everyone knows, Jews celebrate Hannukah this time of year, to commemorate the miracle that occurred upon the liberation of Judaea from the grip of Antiochus IV. Antiochus figures as the primary villain of Hannukah, an arrogant king who oppressed and tormented the Jews, and tried to get them to give up their Jewish ways.

Antiochus perceived the Jews as barbaric desert-dwellers, and believed that the Greeks were superior because they had discovered many cultural and technological innovations not yet known to the Jews, such as democracy, science, engineering, literature, and medicine.

But very rarely is it asked why Antiochus came to Judaea to bully the Jews in the first place. That is what this story is about...

Antiochus was a proud king. He dreamt of conquering vast lands. So he led his army down from what is today Turkey to what is today Egypt. His was a mighty army, with thousands of Greek, Scythian, Persian and Syrian soldiers. He even had chariots and war elephants.

As his army marched along the coast of the the Sinai Peninsula, a ship pulled up. Out stepped an elderly Roman senator and two of his aides. They came unarmed. The aides, known as lictors, carried his symbols of station; the senator walked with the aid of a cane, and carried a wax tablet with him.

Antiochus caught sight of the three Romans, and came down to the shore to greet them, as his huge army looked on. He extended his hand, but the Roman senator, Laenas, refused it, and, mute and unsmiling, merely handed him the tablet.

The king read the tablet. On it was written, "It is the decision of the Roman senate that you will not be permitted to invade Egypt. Turn back." The Romans had decided this because they were worried that if Antiochus gained control of the resources of Egypt, he would pose a long-term threat to national security.

Antiochus read the tablet and laughed. "I'll talk it over with my friends and get back to you," he said.

Senator Laenas took a step forward and, with his cane, drew a circle around Antiochus on the sandy beach.

Slowly and quietly he said, "Before you leave that circle...you will give me an answer to lay before the Senate."

Antiochus was furious at the arrogance of this Roman. But he wisely took a moment to consider his options. Mighty as his army was and proud as he was, the might of Rome was orders of magnitude greater. Thousands of his soldiers stood and watched and waited for their king to respond.

"I will do...as the Roman Senate has advised..."

Laenas then smiled slightly and shook Antiochus' hand. "It is good that Rome has such friends." The senator and his aides got back in their ship and headed home, leaving Antiochus on the beach with his army.

Antiochus was at a loss for what to do next. He could not simply return home empty-handed with his army, which had come expecting glory and booty. So instead...he announced that their enemy had changed. They would be invading Judaea.

The Judaeans were no match for Antiochus. The army fell quickly, but some formed resistance groups and struck at the Greek occupiers who had stolen their land. Still, they were unable to drive the Greeks out.

So they asked Rome, the dominant world power at the time, for help, speaking of the injustices that had been wrought on them, the theft of their land. Rome, however, was friends with the Selucids, respecting their relatively advanced technology and culture, and was not willing to open hostilities for the sake of a backward and scant people. They did, however, agree to...write a letter, if Judah would sign a pact with them promising to not give aid to their enemies. Judah reluctantly agreed.

To this day, we have no evidence that letter was ever written.

...

I find it very amusing how Antiochus is portrayed in Jewish lore as a proud and arrogant oppressor, while in Roman lore, he's portrayed as a coward who was humbled by Roman might.

There's a moral there.

But the moral is only knowable if you know both halves of the story...and neither the Jews nor the Romans ever knew the other half. Now we can put the two halves together, thousands of years later - and the sum is greater than the parts.

Funny how that works, isn't it?


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

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 Post subject: Re: The Roman Hannukah Story
PostPosted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 9:48 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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Aestu wrote:
Funny how that works, isn't it?


Quite.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 8:50 am  
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Feckless Fool
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The first latka also came about by this.

War elephants didnt have armor underneath, so the jews would take a spear, run under the elephant and stab up. Elephant fell down and flat jew.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 10:08 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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I really like this story. Keep em coming if you have any more.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 10:11 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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The empty can rattles the most.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 10:21 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
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Usdk wrote:
The empty can rattles the most.

Actually, for a can to rattle, it has to have something in it. =)

The story is very short compared to most.


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 10:23 pm  
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Malodorous Moron
Joined: Fri Oct 29, 2010 7:54 pm
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So, to sum it up based on my understanding:

The Selucids were invading Egypt. The Romans were like, "ehy bro don't go there we don't wanna put up with that shit." With that, the Selucids turned towards Judaea and attacked it. Eventually, the Jews were like, "woah dude wtf we're just chillin. yo rome halp?" And the Romans were like, "naw bro unless you say you won't fuck with us and stuff." And so the Jews, being greedy Jews and stuff, were like, "meh k bro w/e we'll do it." And then the Romans ninjalogged.

TL;DR: Romans were jerks and Jews were still the good guys after thousands of years.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 11:32 pm  
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Obtuse Oaf
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good story :)
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