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 Post subject: A dog fight
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:06 pm  
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Feckless Fool
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The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fight.

The negotiators agreed each side would take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves.

They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other puppies. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and ferocious beast.

When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long!

Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against the growling beast over in the Arab camp. All the bookies took one look and predicted that the Arab dog would win in less than a minute.

As the cages were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of the ring.

The Arab dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.
As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Arab killer dog's tail floating to the ground.
The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise.
The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand," said their leader, "Our top scientists and breeders worked for 5 long years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans, Rottweilers and Siberian wolves, and they developed an incredible killing machine of a dog!"

The Israelis replied. "Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."


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 Post subject: Re: A dog fight
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:18 pm  
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Malodorous Moron
Joined: Fri Oct 29, 2010 7:54 pm
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I lol'd.

By the way, write out your fives. It's below every standard of Arabic numeral use in the English language.


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 Post subject: Re: A dog fight
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:23 pm  
Malodorous Moron
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 5:59 pm
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Dagery wrote:
I lol'd.

By the way, write out your fives. It's below every standard of Arabic numeral use in the English language.


Can you provide me with an algorithm of this process?
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 Post subject: Re: A dog fight
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:35 pm  
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Obama Zombie
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 1:48 pm
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I thought you write out everything from ten and under, to zero.
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 Post subject: Re: A dog fight
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:42 pm  
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Malodorous Moron
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Eturnalshift wrote:
I thought you write out everything from ten and under, to zero.

AP (Associated Press) style says that all publications with numbers ten and under must have said numbers written out.

MLA (I think) format says that all papers with numbers twenty five and under should have said numbers written out.

I'd research the MLA one, but I'm too lazy. Still, I always try to follow MLA format with general writing processes when I'm not writing/editing newspaper articles.


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 Post subject: Re: A dog fight
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:51 pm  
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Querulous Quidnunc
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:19 pm
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The Israeli propaganda engine works very hard to portray Israel as the underdog.

All fascistic and amoral arguments boil down to might equating to right.


Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

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 Post subject: Re: A dog fight
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:53 pm  
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Feckless Fool
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It was sent to me from my grandfather and i copy pasted.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME WHY AM I ALWAYS AT FAULT YOU'RE SO MEAN I HATE YOU

*slam door and running up stairs to cry in my room"


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 Post subject: Re: A dog fight
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:08 pm  
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Malodorous Moron
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quadtard wrote:
It was sent to me from my grandfather and i copy pasted.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME WHY AM I ALWAYS AT FAULT YOU'RE SO MEAN I HATE YOU

*slam door and running up stairs to cry in my room"

I don't think crying is all you'll be doing.



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