Aestu,
I would like to open this by stating that I bear no ill-will towards you. In fact, in an inscrutable kind of way, I actually
like you. You are unique, you have interesting ideas and are very outspoken. Additionally, I do think you are intelligent in many ways (articulate, logical, well-read, etc.). However, I feel that I should inform you that, despite these positive qualities which contribute to this forum, your negative qualities I think are doing more harm than good to yourself, and the community as a whole - and you would do well to re-examine how you interact with others on FUBU.
Nobody is perfect - I myself have many flaws which many on this forum are well aware of (the tendency to let my emotions cloud reason and the propensity to fall for girls on public transit, to name a few). I am no doctor, but it seems that you may suffer from a form of Asperger syndrome (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome ), or some other issue that has often caused you to have difficulty in relationships. You yourself have mentioned that you are incapable of making close friends, but you seem to have made a few positive acquaintances online - some of whom browse these very forums - so clearly you are not utterly helpless in this regard.
It seems as though, then, that the internet has made it more possible for you to "connect" with people. Yet, I cannot help but feel that there are still difficulties you may have. Take, for example, your rant in this thread (
viewtopic.php?f=21&t=9680&start=15 ) against me, calling me stupid, imploring me to lay down under the wheel of a truck (bus would have been more ironic), and so on. I'm not offended by your personal attacks, you clearly just didn't "get" that I was joking, which is perhaps a symptom of Aspergers (failure to recognize social cues). Please understand going forward, I have troll blood, so I will randomly post things like that in many different threads - as I'm sure others could attest to.
The issue at hand, I think, is that you sometimes are too quick to "defend" yourself, and your way of defending yourself seems to be to go on the offensive. While this may be an effective tactic in debates, it is something that I think you use too often when no one is debating you, or when you perceive that you are under personal attack from someone in the midst of a debate. I understand you like spirited debate, and that you seem to embrace the role of the villain in many threads. Indeed, poking the beehive can lead to a much more interesting discussion. With this in mind, I don't ask that you completely stop this, or stop being yourself, because it is part of what makes you Aestu, what makes your posts entertaining at times, and what makes this board more interesting overall.
What I ask of you is that you try to think more clearly about what others might mean when they say a certain thing. Context, I believe, is something you could do better with understanding. Additionally, when you ARE in a disagreement with someone, have you ever considered a more affable debate style? What I mean is, phrases like "I see your point, but I think...." "Yes that part is true, however I believe..." rather than a simple attack style that sometimes degenerates to "YOU ARE STUPID." The fact is, no one responds well to this, and more people seem to simply tire of it. This leads to them shutting you off, which destroys the hope for positive discussion completely (and serves to make this forum more boring). If everyone continues to shut you out, then who will be left to discuss things with and learn from?
The subsequent ignore you received from Dvergar served only to further highlight this unfortunate symptom of your combative demeanor. You may say that people ignoring you are merely covering their ears and ignoring reason, but I think it's more akin to you rubbing them the wrong way one too many times. Mayo has warned you too, and claims he has received complaints from other FUBUers about you, all singing the same familiar tune. I think it's very possible to sort all this out if you can still be your intelligent, opinionated, self...while also attempting to be just a little less brash.
It is my sincere hope that you read my words and digest them fully before responding (if you choose to do so). Again, I don't mean to be insulting, and don't mean to antagonize you in any way. I feel it is in the best interests of FUBU that you continue posting, but attempt to be more amiable (something I know you are capable of, since I have observed it) while doing so, lest FUBU become a much duller and less interesting place without the one they call "Aestu."
Sincerely,
Azelma
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TL;DR: I would like Aestu to continue to debate and be himself, but to not be quite so abrasive and quick to jump to conclusions and attack people.
