Aestu wrote:
However, you base your views on a faulty premise - that merely because I am not in a state of self-doubt and internal paralysis because of my flaws, I therefore am blind to them. The fact is, I do not perceive the flaws you describe as fatal. I do not allow knowledge of my weaknesses to prevent me from recognizing and capitalizing on my greater strengths.
I don't believe you should be in a state of self-doubt, and never implied such. Self-criticism and self-doubt are two
very different things. I consider self-criticism to be a way of improving yourself. If I didn't criticize myself after my interactions with our dear friend Mazeltov and <Twisted> and the fall-out that ensued then I wouldn't be who I am today (seriously). It was part of my growth. I feel you have never done this...or if you have...you hide it quite well.
Aestu wrote:
You base your opinion on another faulty premise: that "friendship" means the same thing to you that it does to me. Your view on friendship is built around the idea that more is better and that it is better to make a friend than not. While that may be true in purely Machiavellian terms, that is not the way I prefer to live my life. I do not believe that to make a friend is automatically a good thing nor that more friends are better.
True, we do value different things and friendship certainly means different things to both of us. I value knowing people from different backgrounds and being able to forge connections with those who may have wildly divergent viewpoints. I think it would be dull to only befriend or associate with people who view the world in the exact same way I do. I also think it's foolish to assume that my opinion is always the right opinion. There are millions of different perspectives, and I strive to understand as many of them as I can.
I value being challenged by others, and so I enjoy associating with people who will challenge me (perhaps that's what made me even attempt to socialize with you outside of these forums). I have a romantic view of society and the world in general. This might be a weakness, but I like to see the best in people. But......
Aestu wrote:
Quite the contrary, I am suspicious of people with many friends because I believe that tolerance is the virtue of a man without principles, and that the only friendship worth having is that of a man who is cautious in extending it.
This is incorrect. I most certainly have principles and have ended friendships because of these principles before in my life. One quick example:
I ended a long high school friendship in college because he cheated on his fiance (who I was also friends with) and I had knowledge of it. I then was confronted by the fiance and evaluated my principals. I knew it would end the friendship, and so I told her the truth. I ended that friendship because I despise cheaters.
Aestu wrote:
Your belief that merely because I do not share your values I am somehow flawed is small-minded - and wrong.
This is not my belief. I believe you are flawed because you ignore your short-comings outright and prefer to focus on (and overstate) your strengths. You said it yourself...someone who recognizes or tries to improve upon their weaknesses is "in a state of self-doubt and internal paralysis". Do I come across as someone in this state to you?
Yes, capitalize on your strengths...we should all do this. However, your steadfast refusal to work to improve upon your weaknesses is your fatal flaw.
Having difficulty in relationships is not a fatal flaw. Refusing to work on your flaws, and overstating your strengths IS though. Read any Greek tragedy...
It's
hubris that is your fatal flaw, Aestu. I'm sure if you lived back then you'd have at least one play written about you. It wouldn't end well.