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Not at all Aestu, not at all.

Have you actually met anyone remotely close to that, though? It's great to sit around thinking about what kind of woman I'd build on a holodeck, but in reality, I can only find people with one or two desirable qualities and a whole host of other problems.

Even just picking two or three good qualities from that list makes for a needle in a haystack (in my experience).

And then when I meet the attractive gamers, or sex fiend feminist haters, or sincere lover cooks, the amount of batshitcrazy or boring or whatever is just unbearable.

I don't cook.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus

Callysta of Reverence

You're right, such a woman probably doesn't exist. But yeah, there are plenty of women closer to it than you'd think. I'm sure of it.

I used an extreme idealistic example simply as a way to point out how Jubber's and Usdk's "I don't need no woman they are all crazy feminist bitches who want to take my money" philosophy is just smoke and mirrors.


Case and point, on Saturday my girlfriend made me Fajitas, then we got drunk and played Mario 64 and Mario Kart all night. She's become my best friend...and it's awesome.

There's a lot of value in companionship, so shunning it all is just something you do to make yourself feel better. I know this because I had that mentality for years. You've probably seen me talk like that on this very forum. Can't get a decent girlfriend? Well clearly all women are shit then and being a bachelor is the best thing ever. It's a nice rationalization, but let's call it what it is.


Are there potential pitfalls to relationships and commitment (losing half your shit, getting your heart broken, general relationship stress, etc.)? Absolutely. I feel the risks are worth it though.

I just think that an overwhelming majority of men that claim to want to be "bachelors for life" and only want to talk to girls that are "DTF" are just lying to themselves. Unless you're George Clooney, you won't be able to pull it off....and even if you can, your record will be spotty at best....especially if you're an e-nerd like all of us (Fanta, rich caramel doctor, notwithstanding )

Eventually you'll get older, you'll get uglier, and you may even get lonelier...it'll be harder and harder to bed those bimbo skanks you find. It'll feel even more empty each skank you move through.

Then, maybe you'll decide you want to pass your genes on (if you haven't already)...hell maybe you'll decide you actually want a loving family, not a tattered tapestry. Shit, IDK. Maybe you'll be content to live and die without ever having truly loved anyone. Maybe that's enough for you....but don't pretend it's some objective truth that all women are garbage and that's why you're single. It's a copout.

Yes people can be happy bachelors, but from what I know of these FUBU bros...they would be perfectly happy if they found the love of a good woman.

Realized I just wrote a ton...


TLDR: Bitterness doesn't help you. It's poison. It's easier to be bitter and angry than hurt and alone...I know.

There are many terrible women out there, but many great one's too. So, if you really want one, you shouldn't give up. Keep trying, and you'll find her. Even if I get burned...I'll dust myself off and keep trying.

We only live this life once...so go live it the way you truly want to.

Azelma can be very insightful.

Fwiw, I freely admit that it scares me to think of the kind of woman I would be willing to pass my genes on with.

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

Azelma pretty spot on.

Working in a bar for the last year has colored my perceptions of women, for sure. I've recently met one outside the bar and, with the exception of the fact that she's a cat person, i think she's pretty much what I'm looking for.

Azelma, I'm not saying there isn't a Miss Right out there for everyone, but I am saying that if you're spending all of your time LOOKING for miss right, you'll start to have a lot of false positives. I just chose a different path, and it might just work out anyway.

And contrary to popular belief, I'm not taking home whatevers left on the bar room floor after work. I actually am quite picky.

True, but it's all about the numbers..

Fact is, you won't know it's miss right until long after you've already met her....so you gotta try to meet people.

I just consider it a numbers game. You need to have basic standards and qualities you're looking for...from there, it's just about getting a hit.


It took me over 2 years of looking until I found something that works. So many dates, heartbreaks, terrible luck, etc. I tried:

eHarmony
Match.com
Bars
Co-ed Softball/Kickball Leagues
Blind Dates
Parties

I even considered speed dating at one point!


Funny how I ended up meeting my current GF....just shows how you have to keep looking...

I joined a random Co-ed Singles Softball League. There was a group of 4 girls on my team that all knew each other. I went on a few dates with one of them...but decided to just be friends with her and the others. After a bit, I started getting invited to parties and events by them (protip: befriending girls is a good way to meet other girls, also you have free trust/vouch points).......

One night, I went to a "stoplight party" with a buddy at this douchey bar (Stoplight party...everyone wears Leis of different colors green=single red=taken yellow=complicated...stupid concept, but this shows you how much I was willing to chance things). I didn't really want to go, but forced myself. It was awful...forced conversation, 80% idiotic skanks, chicks just looking for free drinks.

So I tell my buddy, "screw this...let's go to another bar." Next door, more of the same, just without the Leis. Douches and skanks galore. I was ready to call it a night...then one of my friends from the softball team texts me, "hey we're at this bar, wanna hang out." I say to my buddy "alright, let's just go to this bar and hang out with them, we can at least spend time with friends if we're not getting anywhere tonight"

Lo and behold, we get there and my GF is sitting with them at a table. We're introduced...start talking (it's fuzzy but we discussed the fact that we're both left handed). Got her number. The next week, met up with her and those same friends at another bar....ended up making out on the dance floor. Then I asked her out to dinner.

That was a year ago.


You never know when it's gonna hit. Happens when you least expect it.

The only good online dating service charges $15/mo and is owned by Activision.

Aestu of Bleeding Hollow...

Nihilism is a copout.

I agree with you there. I've tried online dating. It's a vast wasteland.

Yeah most of those websites are just hookup sites.

I cook, but I won't do the dishes after. I cook, he cleans. That's the deal.

s^ | Kay

I disagree.

It didn't work for me personally, but my sister met her husband on eHarmony. A year later, my brother met his wife on eHarmony.

My buddy (the one I referred to in the previous post) is generally terrible with women and met his current girlfriend of 6+ months (who he is vacationing in Costa Rica with) on eHarmony. The girl I went on a few dates with but it didn't work out met her current boyfriend on Match.com. My other friend met her current girlfriend of a year on OK Cupid. My Jewish friends tell me JDate actually has a pretty good success rate as well.

Yes, you'll have people just looking for hookups, and you'll have a lot of failures...but calling it a wasteland is hyperbole.

I think it's better odds for success than walking up to a random girl at a bar. At least in online dating you know a bit about their interests, can see what they look like without beer goggles...and most of the sites foster communication. With eHarmony, I felt everyone I went out with was genuinely looking for a serious relationship...I don't know that about girls at a bar.

Plus it lets you find girls who don't frequent bars.

(I've never used one, but that's another point in its favor)

If destruction exists, we must destroy everything.
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